and yet, I feel like there are times I need defending and people (husband included) won't defend me because of the lack of wanting any controversy. People will say things to him (assuming things) and he just agrees with them - no matter whether it is true or not. I stick up for the people I care about to ANYONE. I don't care. If I think someone deserves defending (and we all do sometimes because of mean relatives, etc., etc.), I will defend that person if they are important to me. Do you defend people you care about? If not, are you afraid of something? It hurts a lot sometimes, ya know? We can't always be there to defend ourselves when horrible words are being said.
2006-06-21 06:17:26 · 6 answers · asked by butterfliesRfree 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Wow, I hear ya. Something similar happened to me and I felt sick. My husband said he defended me, to which I replied, not agreeing with someone is not defending your spouse. People repeat things without thinking and when you call them on it or say something SENSIBLE they have nothing to back up accusations. Especially if it a family issue.
2006-06-22 01:04:09 · answer #1 · answered by peppermint_paddy 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There will always be things about your mate that really bother you, its part of why marriage is such hard work. But is it a deal breaker? Can you not accept this fact about him and work past it?
You've said that the people dissing you are lying, and that you consider yourself a strong woman. While it feels like hell to think that people are saying things like this about you, and its a sinking feeling to know that those you love the most aren't standing to defend you - do those lies really matter in the long run? As long as you, and even your husband, know better?
One bit of advice that I was given when I married, was that no matter how long my list of grievances might ever be about my husband, I needed to realize that HIS list against me is probably longer. They may not all be valid, but that doesn't change how strongly he feels about them. Remember that you can't expect someone to forgive your shortcomings if you're not willing to forgive theirs, and everyone has them.
So you have to weigh how much your feelings are hurt by his lack of response to these bad folks, against how committed you are to the vows you two made to each other and how much you really love him. What is really the most important thing here, in the long run?
Does it REALLY matter, or are you just venting your hurt feelings?
2006-06-21 11:18:12 · answer #2 · answered by Crooks Gap 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The down side of being a strong woman, is that people often think you can always take care of yourself....so they don't step up. Also, if people don't feel what is said is true, they may not feel is necessary to defend you. And you answered your own question......most people just don't want the controversy. Choose your friends carefully!
2006-06-21 06:25:14 · answer #3 · answered by wendy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes i do and i feel the same way like people do stick up for me when i need to be defended. I feel that also i bend over backwards for tha people i love and yet in return i cant even get no one to bend over forward.
2006-06-21 06:33:55 · answer #4 · answered by Im da Example 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
all and distinctive desires someone. being financially self sufficient would not make you emotionally self sufficient. keep in mind no individual is an Island. you'll always choose someone to talk with, percentage your days journey with, and crack jokes. except you this clearly self withdrawn form.
2016-10-20 11:18:29 · answer #5 · answered by ehrlich 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What would Jesus do?
2006-06-21 06:30:51 · answer #6 · answered by Lenore 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋