I have morals and want to to wait until i'm married to have sex if I can. My boyfriend doesn't respect my morals and says it's dumb and is always pressuring me to have sex. Now it's all he talks about and when we're together his focus is to try and mess with me to get me to lose it.
When we're doing stuff at that moment I feel like doing it, but all the rest of the time I really don't want to. He said if I won't have sex with him he "won't break up with me but will be really pissed off" I should expect that right?
It wasn't like his before and now he doesn't even wanna go anywhere with other people; he just want us alone together so we can have sex. I keep saying no but he keeps pushing me further and further, because according to him "he should make the rules for me and I shouldn't think at all and just ignore my morals and concience" I'm really gettting nervous and I feel really bad because he keeps saying he loves me. I just don't want to regret anything, but he says i won't...
2006-06-21 06:05:31 · 28 answers · asked by misomeow 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
My parents love him and think he's such a "Good Kid"
He is 18 and going into college (i'm 16) so I know that he is going to have a lot of options in other girls and chances to mess around, i just feel bad
2006-06-21 06:15:17 · update #1
First, let me say that if there were more young adults in the world with your morals, what a better place it would be!!
There is nothing wrong with your desicion to wait. I waited until I was married, and let me tell you that is something so special and so intimate that I wouldn't want to share it with anyone but my husband.
If he isn't willing to stop harrassing you and let you have your morals, then he isn't in love with you. Guys will say what ever they think you want to hear to get into your pants. Don't be afraid to stand up and say no. If he is pressuring you, then tell him to either stop, or it's over.
I know you think you love him, but trust me, there is someone else out there for you, someone who isn't interested in sex, or pressuring you, or telling you things to make you upset with yourself.
Be firm in your conviction!! Don't ever let anyone tell you what you believe in is wrong or stupid. This is the best choice you could make in your life.
I don't know how many times I have seen girls come into our office pregnant, alone and only gave in JUST ONCE to make their boyfriends happy. Take it from someone who knows, don't do anything you aren't ready for!
If all he wants to do is be alone and not be with other people, then let him know that you won't be alone with him. Treat him as you would if your father was sitting next to you.
I would get rid of him without a second thought. You and your mental and physical well being are more important then any guy!!
Good luck and stay strong!!! Remember who you are, where you came from, and where you are going! Pray if you need help and ask for the answer you need. I can say with almost 100% certainty that the answer will be to get rid of this guy.
2006-06-21 06:33:00 · answer #1 · answered by odd duck 6 · 4⤊ 1⤋
If he loves you he would respect your wishes and understand why you want to wait. SIMPLE AS THAT!! He doesn't respect you at all if he keeps pressuring you to have sex and making you feel bad about not wanting it. I know that you feel that you really love him but do you really want to be with a guy who is making you feel bad about your morals? Also, let me make you aware that men will say whatever it takes to get sex if they really want it including that he loves you.
Love is respecting each other, being someone you can count on, easing your fears not making them, and will back you up on your decisions. It doesn't sound like he is doing any of these.
If you think this guy is the one then try this. Tell him that if he respects you and loves you then he won't mind waiting for you. Also, if he really loves you see if he even sticks around after a year of not letting him have sex. I'm betting if that is what he really wants he'll be gone way before the year is up and that will prove to you that he didn't really love you.
One final point to make is this guy worth losing your morals, possibly getting an STD, or having a baby with? My answer is no guy in the world is worth that chance!!!
2006-06-21 06:21:55 · answer #2 · answered by Sully 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Baby girl, do not do anything under pressure. If this dude is going to be pissed off because you have morals then screw him. DON'T EVER LOWER YOUR STANDARDS OVER SOME DUDE THAT WON'T RESPECT YOUR DECISIONS! Having sex for the first time is no laughing matter. If you want to wait till your married then that's what you should do. If he's always wanting to get all over you all the time that's an obvious sign that's all he wants. You diserve more than someone trying to get in your pants all the time. You deserve someone who will respect your wishes. You deserve someone that will take pride in the fact that you have morals and that you have standards and that you're a strong young lady with conviction. I waited utill I was 18 before i did anything. I was with my boyfriend for 2 1/2 years before we did anything. He respected my wish to wait and NEVER pressured me. We're not together anymore but I have no regrets and am not ashamed. If you want to wait. Wait. Don't do anything under pressure.....Because that regret will walk with you for years to come. That guy sounds like a punk anyway. You deserve better.
2006-06-21 06:14:30 · answer #3 · answered by ilah23 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As you can tell by all the responses you got. I think you should know what is right and what you should do. I know your so young to know the difference of a good guy and a guy who is just using you. But honey if you have been dating for maybe a month the guy does not love you. It takes time to fall in love, this guy is just telling you what he thinks you wanna hear. Hes a punky 18 year old kid, your parents are right on that. An 18 year old is a baby he doesn't know what love is. Men dont really "love" someone till they have really grown up and got a chance to experience the real world. If he is not respecting your morals and what you believe to be right than you know you need to dump him. He is not worth all the frustration. Have you had a chance to talk to your parents about what is going on? You need to speak up and talk to them. Your teen years are the most difficult time of your life that you will need your parents. If you have respect for yourself and who you are, then you will know to stand up to him and tell him to back off or its over. Your virginity is something you will never get back. Dont lose it to the wrong guy.
2006-06-23 06:26:08 · answer #4 · answered by sicilygal2581 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't let anyone pressure you into doing something that you don't want to. You seem like you have a good head on your shoulders.
I know from experience with my family ~~having sex to keep a man doesn't work out. Trust me. The women in my family have found out the hard way.
Just remember once you lose your virignity you can't get it back.
If this kid really loves or like you he wouldn't be pressuring you to sleep with him. He would support your decision no matter what.
Just take in to play that he is young and in his sexual peak. So he will do anything and say anything to get you to sleep with him.
You just have to be strong in your decision and not let him change your mind. If he sleeps with other girls then he really didn't love you and you know you stood strong in your choice.
2006-07-05 05:49:32 · answer #5 · answered by Wahenie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
end relationship him or you wont be a virgin lots longer. sometimes you will supply in only to close them up, or the favored, yet i for my section look when you line, observed by making use of in case you truly cared for me, it may be ok. he will positioned on you down, under no circumstances end asking. regrettably it truly is basically the way a 20yr previous boy is, he kinda cant help it. Hormones raging, no administration over what they are making him think of and say and do at situations.i'm particular he does truly such as you, yet once you opt to stay a virgin, wreck up with him. Date a boy extra like your self, waiting to make out, no longer waiting for intercourse.
2016-10-31 06:03:21 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH THE A**
Seriously though if he only wants to have sex with you and has completely disregarded your feelings and morals on the situation drop him like a hot potato in the middle of summer.
He doesn't care about you and you will regret having sex with him because you would've compromised everything that you believe in. That's just unacceptable.
Destroying what you believe just to be with someone, is ludicrous.
be done with him.
2006-06-21 06:11:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Respect is part of real love. He isn't respecting you, therefore, he doesn't really love you. There's more to life than sex!!
Sounds like you don't really want to, but I'd say-
Keep your standards, dump the guy. He's not good enough for you.
2006-06-21 06:18:21 · answer #8 · answered by Yoda's Duck 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK, it seems to be all this guy wants is to get you into bed.he does not respect your feelings because if he did he would not pressure you into having sex with him.i think its great that you have morals and want to wait until you marry before you lose "it".i think you should dump this guy because he does not respect your feelings,love for him and he does not seem to love you. find yourself a man who will respect your feelings and wishes. don't let any man pressure you into having sex with him,k?
2006-06-21 06:09:58 · answer #9 · answered by Angel_Anton 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This guy is USING YOU. Do you ever listen to a thing YOU actually think or do you let other ppl get their way with you by spouting the most fetid load of rubbish I've ever heard in my life!!!
I don't know if you know anything about sex but boyfriends who love you respect your decision to say no after the measly time of one moth together. I saw a post the other day from a girl who said she was worried she had lost hers too soon, after two months and most ppl said yes.
Also, pressuring you to have sex is NOT the action of a guy in love, if he was he'd want to ensure YOU had a good time and wouldnt try EVERY trick in the book to try and get you into bed.
Threatening you with anger? love? not to me!
not accepting your word?love? uh no!
Telling you to ignore your conscience?? WTF??? Thats a sure sign he really will try anything to have sex, and expects you to belive these STUPID lines he keeps rehearsing. Stuff him why do you allow him to dare say he should make the rules? why? are you married? no youve been going out for one month. Even if u r married he still shouldnt make the rules.
This is going to be hard to hear but he thinks you're easily impressed and led and just wants to sleep with you and lose his virginity. You are way too understanding of him and you make too many excuses that coverup the most outrageous behaviour, I am appalled for what you have to put up with but am staggered you do I can hardly believe it!! For boys sexual feelings have little to do with love and affection (remember they can get turned on by just looking at a store mannequin or pictures of girls, it's not automatically an affectionate thing for him to say he finds your body sexy, trust me) and have much less chance of turning into love if they are satisifed too soon. Of course he wont dump you hes hoping you'll crack under the pressure. He picked you because he knew you were a nice girl who wouldnt question him. Well now is your chance to start. Tell him that it is YOUR body and who the hell does he think he is to even suggest the things hes been saying.? Just dump him however nice he seems. Play a little game and tell him youre not thinking of having sex til you are married DEFINITLEY and watch his predicatable reaction of "I don't think we can do this anymore" as a last chance attempt at making you give in. He will threaten to end it if you sound sure enough of yourself I GUARANTEE you. And no dont have pity on him. Youve already given him enough and he's long shown he dosent deserve it.
Sorry to say this but you have to be honest sometimes I just wanna help you, TAKE A LESSON IN LISTENING TO YOUR OWN THOUGHTS, EXPRESSING THEM AND NOT LETTING OTHERS TELL YOU WHAT TO THINK.
I am a Christian but waiting until you are married dosent make you either a Christian or not, Jesus death and our faith in it does so try and find your own opinions about things, remember it's not sexual behaviour alone that pleases God, so does standing up for your rights he wouldnt want to see you made uncomfortable and downright blackmailed like this. Sorry but it's SO clear to me what he's up to.
2006-06-22 13:23:24 · answer #10 · answered by Zinc 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋