What Happened?

Question

My fiance and I were together for about 4 years. The relationship was absolutely amazing. We stayed with his parents for a while to save money for our place. Unfortunately, his mother did EVERYTHING for him. She paid for his car, his gas, and the insurance all he had to do was drive it. So, we sold that car and got him a nice truck- his payments, in his name. Now he pays for it all. We were suppose to move into our own place on July 1st. We'd even gone shopping for things. Then all of a sudden- it's over. He picks a fight with me about a car stereo, tells me to get my things and leave and his reasons? - You have too much attitude, I don't want a relationship, I'm concentrating on my dirt bike career, we weren't giving the relationship 100%. Okay...The ring was on my finger and we were going to Mexico this Oct to wed. A lot of people are saying he's scared and getting cold feet. But everytime i speak to him he says he doesnt want a relationship and I should date if i want to... read on

A lot of people say that if i ignore him and be rude he'll come running. Does this work? Friends and family say he's got cold feet. So just ignore his calls and don't call him- or will he move on...?

Okay so I wait. Question- im scared to move into my own place. That first night alone is going to be hella hard. I'm only 20! He says he's going to stay that first night with me. He has some things of mine that he won't give back, he says he wants to bring them to me so he has an excuse to come and see me.... this sounds like someone who won't let go- am i right? Why is he doing this then?

Answer 1

K first off...he has cold feet for sure...first of all...

Second of all...if he doesn't "Want a relationship" he needs to follow your rules...He can't have it both ways...he doesn't need to spend the night with you...dont be stupid.

I don't want to marry you or live with you but I'll hold your stuff hostage and come screw you when I feel like it?? Hello...No, tell him you're fine, you don't need him to stay with you, what you need is for him to load up your stuff in his nice new truck and drop your stuff off..you may not be home...cause you might have a date.

I know you love him, but trust me...if you let him start walking all over you now , it will never stop....If he didn't like "your attitude" why the hell was it ok for 4 years and it's tolerable to spend the night with ...but not to marry...b*llshit. He kicked you out and dismissed you...if he wants you back ...it should be on your terms.

Answer 2

that is so scary. im sorry you are going through that. it sounds to me that he is getting cold feet. i mean 4 years and finally the next step. he just got a truck and his mom is not paying for everything anymore. i think his mom spoiled him rotten and was a "mama's boy". i bet he was the youngest or the only boy, right? my boyfriend is the youngest of 8. yes 8, and hes so spoiled. his mom gets him everything and it drives me nuts cause he expects me to get everything for him. been together for 4 years too. and he talks about marriage but he says later. i think that you should just stop calling him. if you find it hard not to call him, text him just to let him know you thinking about him or just say i love you. i would say not to date until later. i mean, you were with the guy for 4 years and engaged, you cant date yet. i hope everything goes well for you, give him a little bit of time and hopefully he'll come around. take care. ♥

well i had written the above before i read your other questions youve posted. youve been with your fiance since you were 15 and now you are 20. youve been having problems for a while now and he's a pot head. im sorry to be so blunt but i dont think that you have a mature relationship. and that will lead to destruction unless both parties want to make it work. also you have posted your questions like 3 times each or something like that. is there any reason for that? good luck. ♥

Answer 3

I think you are right and he is scared of all of the responsibilities that come with the relationship (without mom).
I think you should just leave him alone. He will do his own thinking and start to realize it is a mistake and that he has to grow up sooner or later or people are going to look down on him for being too dependent on his mom. He'll probably come around. In the meantime, try to have some fun and wait. I know it will be hard but try.

Answer 4

i would try it '' call his bluff '' get a phone with an answer machine then if he calls he can leave a message then dont reply he will come begging when he realises what he is missing maybe he is really lazy and thinks he has got it better at home with his mom so she can pay for every thing but if it were me i would try and ignore him for a while maybe get him jelous by getting some 1 to be ur fake ''date'' that will have him . it will be hard to ignore him but if there is a chance of u getting back together then this may be it ( whats he like is he very stubborn wont admit he was wrong sort of guy ?)

Answer 5

He might have cold feet but sounds like he left moms reigns and isn't ready to get into a relationship right now. See if he wants to stay with you but live seperately for awhile. Talk to him.

Answer 6

his mother ruined him. he will eventually see that he wants to be with you, i wouldn't say ignore him, be civil, but don't make yourself available to him all of the time. being a b*tch pushes him away, being too needy gives him a chance to have his cake and eat it too. the thing is, do you have enough time in your life to babysit him? the fact is that his mother is ALWAYS going to be a part of your relationship as you can see. he is enjoying his mother doing it all for him. if i were you i would move on.

Answer 7

let him go. If he is willing to leave a four year relationship with a wonderful woman like yourself over a stupid disagreement, you will be better off without him. There are mony more fish in the sea.

Answer 8

Move on.....if he wants you back he will let you know.

I would not wait for him, you could be waiting forever.

If he sees that you are fine with it and getting on with your life, he may finally realize that he is an ***.

Answer 9

yes, just ignore him and dont talk to him. that worked with me and mines came running back. just ignore him show him that you can live without him. it will work. i promise. Good luck!!!

Answer 10

ignore him first then see the results