I have with her for about three months...I`ve already promised to be with her forever...I love her....but is my promise prove me to be shallow or something...I wanted her to be secure and peaceful cause I like her more than anything in my life ...
2006-06-21 04:58:24 · 11 answers · asked by answerer 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
If you do, you really have to keep it. What you have basically done is propose marriage (and if she also stated her intention to be with you forever, then you should consider yourself engaged to be married).
What you need to do now (and probably should have done before saying that) is come up with a plan for how you are going to maintain your love, what you are going to do to help the relationship to grow. Observe relationships around you and see what works, learn from experience.
Come up with a detailed description of why you love her - you'll need it as motivation when things get hard later, which they will. Make sure this 'why' ultimately ties in to God, is founded on Him. Otherwise your foundation will most probably crack visibly and perhaps even just plain fall apart.
Deal with the practicalities - how you will negotiate changes like finishing school, starting another school, getting a job, moving to a different locality, how much time you want to spend together, what are you going to live on when you eventually set up housekeeping, all the little steps that have to be taken together to move in the direction of marriage.
Now that you have obligated yourself like this, you need to assume that all difficulties that arise, there is NO option of breaking up, NO option of saying I can't handle it, your only question is 'HOW am I going to handle this?' And the assumption has to be that you WILL stay together.(1)
And when things look impossible, you will not give up, but trust in the God for Whom all things are possible(2), Who tells you that everything is possible for the one who believes(3) - the one Who will make your path straight, if you trust in Him with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding, but rather acknowledge Him in all your ways.(4)
And every so often review your plan to see if you need to fine-tune it, what kind of progress you've made. But remember, man plans his way, but God guides his steps.(5)
If she is also in agreement about being together forever, then you need to come up with your plan together and say 'How will *we* handle this? What will *we* do to make our relationship grow? How will *we* maintain our love for each other?'
May God bless you and keep you
2006-06-21 05:23:47 · answer #1 · answered by songkaila 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its ok that you wanted to make her feel secure, but three months, i don't think that s enough time to promise something so serious, i think that life can not always take you the way yu want, but try to do what you promised and Good Luck... im telling you this because even a longer relationship, like mine, can always just end with out you evven noticing it... you never know, and it hurts more if the person you love promised you something and didnt do it, for us girls, promises are sacrate, dont brake them...
2006-06-21 12:09:00 · answer #2 · answered by my_sweet_love <3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can only make this promise if you truly mean it with all your heart and soul. You don't give your age - are you absolutely sure this is the girl you want to be for the rest of your life? If there is even the slightest chance the answer is no, you really shouldn't make a promise of this nature.
2006-06-21 12:01:25 · answer #3 · answered by Decoy Duck 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you've been with her for 3 months. how many people have you dated before her? also, it takes about 2 years before the real side of the relationship starts showing. you've been around eachother long enough to stop acting so innocent at that point. definitely hold off on the promise ring. if she/you need a promise ring to prove something, well then you don't really love eachother.
2006-06-21 12:01:20 · answer #4 · answered by crazy_beautiful714 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Generally a promise of that magnitude shouldn't be offered until a year at least..that was the time when I provided my girlfriend a promise ring that signified my intentions to further date her in hopes it will develop into an engagement and eventually marriage....three months isn't enough time to know her well enough to say this is thee one.
2006-06-21 12:06:25 · answer #5 · answered by Goodspeed 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dude. thats your commitment right there. you have to get to know the person well, for maybe a year or two. dont rush into things right away. let time take its course and take your time. your still young and when you are young and find a girl, its best to know her for about a year or two. then think over everything you've done with her. here are questions to think about:
a) do i really love her to really commit to her?
b) will she promise me to stay true to me as well?
there are a lot of questions to be answered and you need to start asking them now before its too late. good luck with it man.
2006-06-21 12:04:04 · answer #6 · answered by ~jervi mervi~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be careful, you cant take back what you have already said, what if your feelings and emotions change???? you just gonna break a promise like that?? i wish you would have thought before speaking something as BIG as that. but if she diddnt run away when she heard it, thats a good sign.
when my x started talkin bout marrige to his friends, i freaked and ran.
but nvm, if that diddnt scare her, then she probably feels the same way.
so good luck to ya!
2006-06-21 12:05:44 · answer #7 · answered by jesus_freak_forever3days2grace 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if you really truely love her like you say you do, than i think you should feel comnpletely comfortable. if you thnk she doesnt beleive you, give her a "promise ring", its just a ring, but it says so much to them. people beleive things more when they have physical proof that they exist, so if you want her to feel safe and secure, and if you want her to beleive you, do that. but dont ever stop telling her. hold her tight man, dont ever let her go!
2006-06-21 12:03:34 · answer #8 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes ,in the marriage ceremony.
2006-06-21 12:11:18 · answer #9 · answered by Ahmad 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that all that like want to hear from us. if you don't think that you can do it that don't even promis her anything trust me
2006-06-21 12:02:02 · answer #10 · answered by you have ? i have a answer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋