i want some funny SHORT quotes or SHORT poems. do you know any?
2006-06-21 04:45:00 · 19 answers · asked by §gorda§ 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
i've always liked this one: "if you can't convince 'em, confuse 'em!" - Harry S Truman
2006-06-21 04:49:06 · answer #1 · answered by susuze2000 5 · 4⤊ 2⤋
Slightly morbid, but funny- Spike Milligan's headstone- I told you I was ill! :)
Or there's Winston Churchill:
Lady Nancy Astor: Winston, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea.
Churchill: Nancy, if I were your husband, I'd drink it
Bessie Braddock: "Winston, your drunk!
Churchill: "Bessie, your ugly, and tomorrow morning I shall be sober
History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.
A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it. - Bob Hope
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer. - Douglas Adams
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain. -Mark Twain
2006-06-21 11:49:47 · answer #2 · answered by brfullr 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its a song that Tre Cool sang in Bullet In A Bible
"Roll, roll, roll the joint, twist it at the ends, light it up and take a puff and pass it to your friends." He did it in the Row row row the boat tune.
2006-06-21 11:48:08 · answer #3 · answered by roxy81492 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
'Don't knock it. You fight international terrorism, you pull the birds.''
'Political comedy? I've had more fun watching orphans burn.'
'As I'm sure you're aware, having heard her sing, your daughter is expendable.'
[All Comic Strip]
'Bloke came up to me in the street and said "The story of our Lord Jesus is the greatest story ever told," and I said "Whoahh, 'Gremlins'."'
[Ross Noble]
'We're friends, aren't we?'
'I came to your funeral, didn't I?'
-----
'What if he's just an ordinary serial killer?'
-----
'You - keep an eye on her, and you - keep an eye on him. I've got a universe to master.'
[Various.]
2006-06-21 17:49:52 · answer #4 · answered by helen s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like a midget in a urinal he had to keep on his toes!
Like a blind man at an orgy he had to feel his way in!
Both leslie Nielson great stuff
2006-06-21 12:01:35 · answer #5 · answered by stag man 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lady Astor and Winston Churchil.
LA: Sir you are drunk.
WC: Madam you are ugly but I will be sober in the morning!
2006-06-21 12:03:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP.
-- Joe Namath
and...
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
-- Alex Levine
2006-06-21 11:52:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I woke up this morning, and felt like a twenty year old. Couldn't find one, so I went back to bed!
Cheers
2006-06-21 11:53:44 · answer #8 · answered by freefloatingelectron 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Behind every successful man is a suprised woman!
2006-06-21 11:56:24 · answer #9 · answered by peggy*moo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"The unspeakable in pursuit of the inedible."
Oscar Wilde on foxhunting.
2006-06-21 11:56:08 · answer #10 · answered by Apple Crumble(Devils Advocate) 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never put off doing things tomorrow that you can do today...there may be a law against it by then.
2006-06-21 11:50:44 · answer #11 · answered by theallknowingscouser 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋