It was a sunny day as Jamie Wiltmire stared out the window of her brother's car. Both had been pretty quiet. It was hard for both of them. About a week earlier they had lost their mom to a horrible bout of cancer. Jamie had been alone with her the last hours of her life and she was having a tough go. Bobby had tried to get up from college, but she was taken the day before he got to the house. Now they were headed to the town in which his college was. He was going to rent an apartment for the both of them. "You hungry, Bo?" Bobby asked Jamie, looking at her for a second. Bo was the nickname he had give to her when they were younger. He had given the name to her because she had been obsessed with Little Bo Peep. "I guess." was her only response as she continued to look out the window at the passing scenery. He knew why she was so quiet, but it still bothered him. He was used to her constant talking, a smile that rarely faded, and her constant laughter. Bobby pulled off the highway
2006-06-21 04:34:18 · 6 answers · asked by Loved By Someone Above 4 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Books & Authors
highway they were on and went down the first exit he saw with a food place. He parked in the parking lot of a place called Skipper’s Fish.
“Hello, welcome to Skipper’s Fish, how may I help you today?” a girl, who Bobby guessed to be in 11th grade, same grade as Jamie, asked with a goofy smile on her face.
“Um, hi, I’d like two fish fillets, two small cokes, and if possible, one of those paper sailor hats you have.” Bobby said.
“Alright, will that be all, sir?” the girl asked, she was way to hyper for him.
‘Too much like Jamie was.’ Bobby thought to himself.
Bobby nodded to the girl that what he had ordered was it and she left to get the food. Looking over at Jamie, he noticed she was once again staring blankly out the window. He was hoping the paper sailor’s hat would make her smile at least a little. When they got back to the car he was going to pull something special out for her and hopefully it would bring her some comfort.
2006-06-21 04:34:50 · update #1
Jamie turned from the window to see her brother walking towards the table with a tray of food and she noticed he was holding something behind his back.
~this is only the beginning, I'm still working on it. This is all I have at the moment.
2006-06-21 04:35:45 · update #2
to zkimmy, this is not a true story, just something I came up with when I was on vacation and to jenn, I think it's going to be about the changes this sister and brother will go through and hardships
2006-06-21 04:43:49 · update #3
it's real good, is it a true story? cause i like it a lot, i this this must b the longest thing i've read n yahoo so far, u r really good girl
2006-06-21 04:40:45 · answer #1 · answered by zkimmy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's pretty good... i just got a little confused on this part "Bobby had tried to get up from college, but she was taken the day before he got to the house. " but all in all, it's a good story so far...
keep it up.
you've written other stories before?
2006-06-21 20:35:08 · answer #2 · answered by iceqb23 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's good....I think you used your grammar and punctuation rather well for the most part....what exactly is the story going to be about if you don't mind givin it up?
2006-06-21 04:40:15 · answer #3 · answered by jenn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds real good, keep on writing and lots of good luck.
2006-06-21 04:44:03 · answer #4 · answered by Vagabond5879 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think it needs some grammatical editing and it's not exactly "gripping"
2006-06-28 03:25:41 · answer #5 · answered by kc_brig 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think its good and long for a begging
2006-06-21 04:42:10 · answer #6 · answered by deanna p 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋