I've always tended to cheat on my wife of 5 years, including two kids. I just did it here and there. I don't know why I did it. Our relationship is good and sex is real good. She always knew and stuck by me. But recently I got caught up and she found out that I cheated on her. I got into trouble with the law and she bonded me out jail. I know she cares deeply for me(obviously). But how can I prove myself to her (other than not cheating) and start to regain her trust. Please help!!! Scared I'm going to lose the best thing that has happened to me.
2006-06-21 04:13:19 · 13 answers · asked by aizz216 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Funny how sometimes we don't realize what we have until the fear of losing it comes into play.
How good can your relationship really be good if you're constantly cheating and she is just sitting there letting it happen? What kind of relationship is that? I don't think you're gonna have to work too hard to regain her trust or prove yourself to her - she doesn't seem to be a strong enough woman to think about what all of this is doing to her and how wrong your actions have been.
If you really want to make things right, quit cheating and get the two of you into come counseling (both individually and together).
2006-06-21 05:01:49 · answer #1 · answered by thersa33 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all you should open yourself up to her. Talk to her and tell her why you cheated in the first place. You know why even though you say you don't.
Then go see a counselor, doesn't hurt to get some professional help for this kind of thing.
If you had truly loved her you would have never cheated in the first place. But you may have realized now that you really do and don't want to hurt your family again. If so then you should be able to fight the temptation to cheat. Its always there, some one will always throw themselves at you and you need to get the strength to say no and think of some ways to help you in that situation. Such as leave the place, don't go around friends who are going to encourage it, and stick with people who don't cheat and want to be with their other halves.
You gotta also realize how she is feeling. She had that hope and looks like she still does have that hope for you to open your eyes and see what you have. Also be a family, then again she just might be a desperate low self-esteem person. Only you truly know.
Just think of all the things that made both of you happy and start there. Work your way up because you are at rock bottom. To earn your trust be true to your word this time, seeing how you wasn't after being married. Thats a sacred thing you demolished and it will take a long time for you to put all those pieces back together. But if you truly love her and don't ever want to hurt her again then you can do it. Keep hope and love alive, also more importantly DO NOT CHEAT again.
2006-06-21 05:44:24 · answer #2 · answered by sweetsugakb24 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Realizing what a clod you were is the first step. Now make good on that promise. It won't happen overnight, but if you are serious about righting your wrongs, then do what she does for you and then some. Stick by her when the going gets tough. Clean the house. Do more with the kids. Cook her dinner, or take her out for it. Remember back when you were dating? Don't forget to schedule date nights for just the 2 of you. And try to have dinner as a family often. When you take an active interest in your wife and your family, she will see that you mean what you say and after some time, it should help you reestablish that trust. It's hard to admit when you're wrong, but that's a step in the right direction. Keep taking those steps along that path and everything should work out ok. Good luck to you.
2006-06-21 04:18:50 · answer #3 · answered by SuperJenn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think once a cheat always a cheat in most cases. How would you feel if she cheated on you? You have to remember the saying don't do onto others as you wouldn't want them to do to you..I think if you want to make it work you need to go talk to a counsel about your relationship and show her that you will do what ever it takes for her to trust you. Don't go out with friends without her always be with her. To me if you really love someone you would never cheat. A person only cheats if they are not happy at home.
Sit her down and talk to her or send her a nice email, send her love email everyday. She will always have that doubt in her head tho about you cheating on her again..good luck to you...Tell her you love her everyday.....more than once.
2006-06-21 04:24:03 · answer #4 · answered by Mickey7 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you REALLY LOVE her. You will love her alone and not share your feeling for another woman. Love is unselfishness. Remember that you don't ever want to hurt your wife and kids. Put them first and you will shun away from temptations. Don't hang out with people that tend to make you want to cheat.
Another point. Be honest and talk to her. Make a commitment and tell her where you are at all times. Remember your love for her.
2006-06-21 04:17:34 · answer #5 · answered by designer401 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm going to start off by saying that you should never have even considered cheating as an option....your married you just dont do that....but i see that you understand that now and now you want to fix what you f'd up...just be there for her talk to her...and never stop apologizing until she tells you too....and dont just say i'm sorry and dont mean it show her that your sorry make things about her...love her do the little things with her...you know her and you know what she likes and doesnt like...so work on that...the key thing is to understand that she is so hurt right now...probably alot more then you really know...so keep that in mind...you have a broken heart to repair and thats never easy...good luck
2006-06-21 04:22:09 · answer #6 · answered by E 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should of thought of that before you cheated if you cheated then your heart is not really with your wife but if you wanna start to even make things better if she still wants you around is move out and proove your self restart your relationship with her,start taking her out on dates again and romance her all over again,and the ebst way is to redo your marriage vows and do not cheat on her after that if you do then you need to leave her
2006-06-21 04:21:34 · answer #7 · answered by treatau 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you never know what you got til its gone.... and if she gives you a 2nd chance, consider yourself lucky... 1st off, start by making her a promise and STICK to it, be with her any chance you get and reassure her, shes the only woman in your life... apologize profusely (but dont go overboard) and eventually she will trust you again. maybe not 100% but you cant expect that and dont get upset if she keeps throwing it in your face, dont get discouraged if you dont see "results" in a week or even a month... you screwed up and its gonna take ALOT to fix it. HOWEVER--- if she dont take you back, understand and let her go because she didnt deserve to be cheated on.
2006-06-21 04:25:10 · answer #8 · answered by heavensent41770 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmm well i think u learnt a lesson there from cheating on her,well now is the time to confess talk to her tell her that we all make mistakes,and you did the same tell her you got carried away but now your eyes have opened and u will never do it again iam sure she will forgive you,Confessing here that you cheated is a brave move tell her the same.
2006-06-21 04:17:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
women hate a cheater. more while in a marriage. i don't think that anything can help you accept to STOP cheating. you married her because you love her and only her.if i was her i would not take you back util you relized that you wanted me and noone else.a marige is very sacred and you have to decide if you want your marrage or not. evertime you cheat your not only hurting your wife but your children.
2006-06-21 04:23:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋