I have been with my boyfriend for three and a half years now. After nine months of dating, he proposed to me. Just recently I gave back the ring because I feel he just is not ready to commit, he won't save money for the wedding! We have had 3 dates and still nothing. What should I do? I love him in my heart, but my brain says LEAVE HIM! Oh yeah, here's a zinger for ya, I am best friends with his Sister-In-Law! HELP!!!
2006-06-21 03:41:28 · 19 answers · asked by jerzygurl76 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Jersey Girl, I understand the history you have had with this guy, but you gave the ring back already. Drop the other shoe and dump him. He sounds like a loser that is not ready to take responsibility for his life let alone yours. Most Jersey girls I know are smart enough to realize a bum will always be a bum.
2006-06-21 03:53:38 · answer #1 · answered by rilindy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the answer is really inside your heart. Are you using this as an excuse to leave him for other reason deep down. Or do you really love him, if you do then you should be able to wait for him to be ready. Getting engaged after nine months isn't all that long, not even the 3 1/2 years you been together. Give it some more time and if you really love him you will wait till he his completely ready, which will make him a much better husband. Don't rush him stand by your man.
2006-06-21 10:55:23 · answer #2 · answered by j :) 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him go. Sounds like he is not ready. Tell him that you are ready to start your life and family and he does not seem to be. If he really loves you and it was meant to be, he will come back ready to commit. If not, then get on with your life. Think of it this way, is this the way you want to spend the rest of your life? If he is not ready for this, he is likely to be this way about other things as well. That does not mean he is a bad person, just not in the same phase of life as you would like to be.
2006-06-21 10:49:44 · answer #3 · answered by anonglass62 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really do love him, his not saving for the wedding shouldn't be too much of a hindrance. According to me, just ask yourself two questions. Primarily, is his not saving money just an excuse to postpone the marriage or is he really a spendthrift at heart. Also, is his inability to save so great that it could eventually pose a risk to your marriage. If you answer in the affirmative to either, I think it's better to move on. However, if you feel you really love him, ask your brain to shut up.
2006-06-21 10:47:37 · answer #4 · answered by aparna_2oo4 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your heart is doing all the loving while your brain is using common sense and telling you that you may love him but you know he isn't the right one for you. Being friends with the sister-in-law has nothing to do with what your brain is telling you about this man.
2006-06-21 11:02:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
so make a decision based on what you know, 1) he won't commit. 2) he won't save for the wedding. 3) your not getting any younger. 4) what does his sister in law have to do with it? your not marrying her!
Move On! Good Luck!
2006-06-21 10:45:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel he isn't totally committed to saving for your wedding then your right he may not be ready. Try to have a serious discussion with him and let him know how you feel. If he is serious he will change and start saving . If not then you know your answer.
2006-06-21 10:46:29 · answer #7 · answered by shae 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is the rush for commitment?
You gave the ring back ... did he ask for it back?
Just because your friends with his sister-in-law; why would this change if you decided to end your relationship with him?
It's your choice what you do from here. Continue to wait for him to commit, or find someone who wants to commit.
2006-06-21 10:53:07 · answer #8 · answered by faintwhispers 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He wont save money? How can a guy be like that? Look I am the same way, you must make him save. It is not going to be easy either. I still can't do it so my wife must do it for me. Some times you find a person that just can't save. Good Luck!
2006-06-21 10:58:29 · answer #9 · answered by Andy S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep the sister in law and take a break from him. Maybe he'll wake up and get it together if he thinks that he's going to lose you. Otherwise you can move on.
2006-06-21 10:46:15 · answer #10 · answered by kirsty h 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋