what is the line between high maintainence and female dignity?

Question

ok. from begining:
he is in netherland. i m in uk.
1st. he flies to my city to see me. and invites me to his city. i said no.
2nd time. we meet up in london. he booked 5 star suite. invites to his city. i said yes.
3rd time. I went to netherland to see him. he picks me up from airport and drop me back. but my flight is 9pm . he said he had meeting at 5pm which he cannot refuse or delay. (2 hour to drive back to his office) so he droped me at airport at 2pm. I stayed in airport bymyself for
7 hours and 20 minutes!!

well. he invites me over.3 weeks in advance. I dont know why in last minute some meeting is up?
also his phone sometimes is on. work place can reach him by cell phone.(he is the president of this company). he said he put this 2 days off as business meeting but not personal holiday --so that is why they can still try to reach him.
and next day morning. someone called. (men. blablabla). and he put phone down. quite angry. complaining they cannot do teamworking.

and also. when he invites me over to his city. he asks me to prepay ticket 1st. while he can easily post me/email me ticket like other men would do normally.
I m not sure whether I am a difficult princess/spoil brat? or maybe I do deserve NOT to be called over to visit him then emergency work call then dump me alone in airport for 7 hours!
and I dont like spend 300 pounds on airticket then he refund me.
shall I ask him to come to see me then take me to wherever we wanna go together?
with him together in his normal 1st class .
i do think i deserve it.
well it is up to him. I will put is in a nice polite way. but if he still wanna see me. I m not a cheap slut. he has to pay some effort

Answer 1

First, long distance relationships are always difficult to maneuver, so you need to reassess what kind of relationship you want. You don't seem satisfied with it obviously, so perhaps this relationship is not one you should continue. It sounds like too much work to me and everyone is losing. Relationships should be about win-win situations, not win-lose, or lose-lose.

If you want the relationship to continue, you have to open up the lines of communication between you two. You need to discuss your feelings with him honestly and openly. If you have so many issues with him, you need to address them rather than festering and brooding about it. Be direct, be honest (but kind and not obnoxious) and tell him how you feel. Do not put blame on him. Do not make him solely responsible for this. Tell him your feelings in terms that are based from your perspective. For example you can say, "I feel badly when you leave your cell phone on and our time is interrupted by outside calls. I know your business is important, but can you leave it off for me so we have quality time together?" Actively LISTEN to what he has to say but do not interrupt. Let him answer you and share his thoughts. The basic bottom line to healthy communication is to come from "I feel" statements, not "You did, you are" statements. The latter will put him on the defensive and a bigger argument will ensue.

Personally I don't think it was nice for him to leave you at the airport alone for 7 hours and 20 minutes, nor do I feel it is fair for him to leave his cell phone on. However, if he is the President of his company and he is the primary decision maker, I think you need to be more sensitive to this. His staff will call him, especially if he has told them to when things come up. Remember that his job is how he earns his money and leads the kind of life he leads now. And, as an aside, he doesn't take these days as personal days - or vacation time - because he is using them as a tax write off. This is what happens in the US. I have a male friend who will take my husband and I out for dinner - a personal, friendly dinner - but he takes the receipt for his taxes!!! This is pretty common, especially when someone owns their own business.

I personally think you should talk to him to find out what his actual priorities are. If his job is his main consideration, and it might be, and his relationship with you is secondary, then you need to decide what you want and if you can live with this. Perhaps he isn't ready for a committed relationship. Perhaps he leaves the phone on as a way to distract from real emotional intimacy all relationships require. Who knows? But you won't find out if you don't ASK. You may be pleasantly surpised if you learn that his priority is your relationship. If that is the case, then you both need to determine what you both want/need/expect so that the relationship is successful.

Truthfully, and with every good intention, you sound somewhat high maintenance. I am not trying to insult or hurt you, but it sounds to me as if you are expecting him to do all of the work here. You both are responsible for determining the relationship's path, so expecting him to do the work without voicing your concerns is high maintenance and unfair. You are making him work. You need to do the same. Since it is long distance, you both have to share in the costs of travelling, phone calls and so forth. Both of you are responsible for this. Additionally, I think you are throwing away your own dignity as a woman. Because you aren't voicing your concerns and issues, he really has no clue what you are thinking and what you want from the relationship. You need to speak to him and have an open conversation where you are defining your needs, as much as he is defining his own. In other words, you have to be a team and work through these things together. When you do this, you will possess your own dignity and you own yourself and your feelings. When you don't, you become high maintenance with far too many expectations that no human can ever meet, especially if they have their own issues and needs to contend with.

Answer 2

LOL. Some women love bad boys and I used to and then grew up and realized I was wrong. I am the bad a@@ girl now! I color between the lines as I am somewhat of a perfectionist and I found out after many years, that is isn't against the law to rip off the mattress tag after I bought it. I was naive enough to believe I broke the law when I did that! How funny! Very funny Bullwinkle! Sending that poor guy to a retirement home. You know what those old ladies are capable of!!! LOL

Answer 3

He is spoiling you rotten the way i see it. I cannot believe however that he stuck you at the airport for that long of a period of time. Did he ever come pick you up or meet you at all? He should have had the common curtesy to call and let you know about the change of plans or schedule. Talk to him and ask him why he has and did this to you . See what he has to say. Do not go and visit him again . Have him come and see you. Might work out better this way. You have female dignity but i feel he is high maitenence!

Answer 4

You've actually answered this yourself . You are not spoiled but from now on take advantage and go see some sights and enjoy your stay. You'll meet someone that really wants to be with you. Drop him Use him. just don't fall in love with him.

Answer 5

I think you may have a 50% your fault, 50% his fault problem. It just seems to me that you two are not meant for one another. Try finding someone nearby, and see how things work out.

Answer 6

You are extremely thoughtful in your query....give this person up. The longer you go on, if THIS is what you call courtship, then what on earth happens when it gets serious? Give it up!

Answer 7

try to PM me for new relationship
Iam honest man looking for serios relationship

Answer 8

what a prima donna, its girls like you that give bad girls a good name, stop flouncing your pussy for money and gifts and get serious before its to late

Answer 9

Use him, screw him and then dump him as he deserves this.........but plz dont fall for this guy.....find someone who stays close...............

Answer 10

I would have to say high maintenance.

Try someone closer to home.