Are alcoholics all the same?

Question

I am in a "newer" relationship (5 yrs.), 3 yrs. married to a younger man, this has really bothered me from day one. When I met him, I was going through a divorce from my now 'EX' , of being with him for almost 18 yrs. with a son and daughter, my 'EX' is an alcoholic, a-lot of abuse, verbal and physical. My new husband is a wonderful man, he is also a drinker, we have already had our share of problems, I am scared that the same thing will happen all over again! I am in Love with my husband, although I feel as if I trust him not to hit me, then that is when he will. ANY SUGGESTIONS??

Answer 1

You ain't really no brat are you :~) well I have to deal with thousands of people drinking per week and no they our not the same. Some happy go luckly some *******.

Some people will be 10ft tall and bullet proof when drinking but they either wake up up with a hangover and be rude are they hurt so bad they our like puppy just won't to craw in a corner and don't wish for no loudest any fiction to pound the inside of there heads.

This is how some people or they run over someone and than they do it again until it becomes a regular habit.

Like Hank Williams Jr said "Old Habit Like You Or Hard To Break" and they are, once we get into a routines. I deal we women beaters pretty much 95% of my work days.
Yet to figure out why? a man likes to hit women God knows they cannot not weep a man and guess what they know this. I spank there butts all the time and send them home embarrass.

Sadly there's allot of good women that has not survive the beating of a man and there kids and extended family has to suffer for them not tucking and running [ meaning leave it behind ].

Its hard to leave when you love someone but them hits hurt and tears fall.

The kids see it thats what the real kicker there emotions so think about them now I'm not telling you to leave I'm telling you,,, you know the signs before it gets too far out of hand use clear & good judgement Okay!
Bet you when he knew you came from abattern relationship he promise this would never happen to you again that you were safe and I also bet you thought you really were however I'm headed of to answer someone else, and I hope some of theses points I give help I do wish you the best that life could ever dream of.

Answer 2

Maybe you should ask yourself why you keep going after the same sort of men? Not all men hit, of course, but make sure that you don't keep pushing his buttons 'just to see if he will' so you can prove to yourself you were right not to trust him and use it against him. Love him unconditionally and if he ever does hit you, be out of there in a shot and learn from the experience. By drinker I assume you don't just mean social drinker. Maybe you should go to couples therapy before there are real problems if you really love him. Men often drink as a way to act out problems instead of dwelling on them and suffering depression like women. A good old sit down and serious chat may wash away any worries you have. Surely he knows about your past and why it is important that you need reassurance? All the best =)

Answer 3

First off, you need to understand that you can't "fix" anyones bad habits or traits. You can only do what you can do for yourself. You might want to try an Alcoholism support group like Al-Anon and attend a few meetings. You will meet people who have similar circumstances as your own and get the opportunity to learn life strategies and methods to keep yourself moving forward and not allow yourself to be at the mercy of others problems and addictions.

And if you have ANY fear of being in danger, it's time to get out of there. Those are harsh words and I really hate typing them but it is something that must be said. You are responsible for YOUR life and must take steps to protect yourself.

Answer 4

i reckon you should have thought about this before you got married again...you need to observe and analyze as much as possible before commiting, otherwise you end up here...asking this question

Answer 5

See if he will go to marriage counseling with you.