i mean, we've got singles asking people out to dates, we've got girls trying to "impress" guys, we've got guys "on the lookout" for girls, etc.
why can't girls and boys just be regular friends at first, you know, friends like we girls are with other girls...
and then after a long time together just as friends, we start to develop affection and turn it into a relationship?
isn't it healthier this way, and... you get to know the other person better before becoming bf/gf, right?
we don't need all sorts of "asking out" and "dating formalities"... how much can you learn about a person during a formal dinner where both of you are artificial?
2006-06-20 21:17:19 · 6 answers · asked by Flo Chen 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
re w.b.'s comment:
you know, there are other ways to show people that you "want" them other than dates... like, you know how we confide to other girls all the time? why can't we do that with boys they like too? that way we show them that we trust them and depend on them...
this sort of friendship/trust love is much better than "ah, you're so sexy, i want to eat you alive!" do you agree?
2006-06-20 21:27:45 · update #1
Hey I'm a boy and I totally agree with Flo and totally DISagree with jlf74464. It's ridiculous, all the dating and sex and such. Come on, guys, just be friends with the girls and let things evolve!
Besides, I'd be really really really complimented if a girl gives me her trust. We all know that girls have more brains and more heart than us, don't we.
2006-06-20 21:51:57 · answer #1 · answered by clemens hsieh 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Men & women are wired differently, & this question illustrates that well. Most women are like you, & want to build the solid friendship with a guy before taking things to the next level. Most want to be able to confide their feelings in us. Essentially, most want us to be like their girlfriends in the respect that they want us to have some deep, meaningful emotional connection before things ever get to the point of even possibly getting physical.
Now, you get into how men are wired differently. I'm going to be honest, & am not trying to offend, but just to give you honest feedback. Most guys, at least until we get older, look at all of what you just said as melarchy & a big waste of time. We are wired to want sex. It is in our nature to want to get sex here, now, & with as little effort as possible. We often feel we have enough friends, & what we want is some nymphomaniacal woman who can keep up with us & help satisfy our urges. We don't want to sit around wasting time having things confided to us, because we will just want to solve the problem for you, which isn't what you want. Again, just part of our nature. Cuddling does nothing but send us home with an immense hard-on & even more immense sexual frustration. Really, we often wonder why you can't give us sex, then allow the friendship to develop over time. I know, we're weird that way, but we honestly are often times more likely to develop relationships with women who we are having sex with than women who just try to be our friends. If we want friends, we go to our buddies, the guys. If we want sex, we come to women. I know it seems wrong, but it is simple biological wiring, & that's the honest truth of it. I hope I haven't offended anyone, but I felt this question deserved an honest answer, & honestly, we value women for sexual relationships, & then the friendships & love seems to develop over time if there is little pressure & a lot of compatibility.
2006-06-20 21:43:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh HELLA I totally agree with what your saying...... I have never had a relationship work where I havnt known the other person prior as a friend etc.... sometimes its hard enough to even start out a relationship purly platonic as friends and all .......
A +++
2006-06-20 21:22:47 · answer #3 · answered by yoshi_20_03 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES, I agree entirely. But when I tried to explain this to a girl, she took it as rejection and flipped out.... I guess people prefer to do things by formalities. It's all nice and fake that way.
2006-06-20 21:20:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree but I think if you try to be this way with someone who wants to get into a faster paced relationship, they will probably feel like you dont want them as much as they do you..
2006-06-20 21:22:36 · answer #5 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a fantastic idea flo chen !!!! i liked it . your point of view is absolutely right
2006-06-21 21:51:54 · answer #6 · answered by neha 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋