How can I be more assertive without becoming a jerk or a martyr?

Question

I try not to let people abuse me so much but then I just become a jerk or I give up all my rights in the name of the greater good. All of this is bad...I just don't want to hurt others or be hurt anymore. What do I do to find a BRAND NEW ME?

P.S. - I'm usually the victime! I think some people missed that point.

Answer 1

Part of being assertive is being decisive and always having an opinion.

You can be assertive just by having confidence when you speak or by giving people proper eye contact when interacting with them.

Speak clearly and audibly, dont mumble. =)

hope that helps.

Dont pay attention to that rubbish the religious hobo on the bottom wrote. Absolutely of his rocker that one -- dont become a religous zealot as a means to become assertive. People will think youre a clown.

Answer 2

Well, I used to be a doormat. Still am kind of. But I finally found friends who appreciated and loved me for being a NICE PERSON, and who didn't use me as a doormat. It took awhile. Also, politics helped. I am very opinionated, but it took awhile to realize that I should stand up for what I believe in and not just go along with what everyone else wants. That's not being a jerk, that's just making yourself heard.

Also, I had friend who hated it when I became assertive. I realzied quickly that she wasn't a true friends and moved on to hang out more with people who said I wasn't assertive enough. Learn to ask for the little things - Hey, I'd like some water, please, Hey, why don't we see this movie instead. It's hard, it will take time, but eventually, if surrounded by the right people, you'll learn.

Good luck!

Answer 3

Well, you can be a lot more assertive if you are able to respect yourself and others. Confidence is also one aspect to it, but I think respect for oneself and for others goes a long way in being able to assert yourself.
You may have limited knowledge on certain things, dun be afraid, be candid about it, have the willingness to learn, to grasp, to grow and to evolve. At the same time, respect other people's opinions, sometimes you may agree with them, that does not imply they are wrong and you are right. Similarly, sometimes they may be wrong and you are right, you should be able to point your across amicably and confidently.
Being assertive is being able to change the person's point of view to yours without letting the other person think that the change was brought about because of you.
Best of luck, for your endeavours and I am sure, you would certainly be able to more assertive in future.

Answer 4

You just need to be more confident, make people believe what you say. You could probably start being more independant, that is an attractive quality. Start doing more things on your own. I guess your main problem is being able to say no to others?

Sorry if this wasn't much help.

Answer 5

You join Christians in the batle against Satan

you belive what is right (God)

you serve Him for the rest of your life, before and after death

Christianity is more than religion it is a divine relationship with God, and when you accomplish this you should have a package deal of blessings

Answer 6

by not assuming things you don't know about, and developing a thing called a sense humor, which you obviously know nothing about. also not making unfounded guesses would be a good start as well. yeah, 48 and three kids ages 16 to 29, and that's a fact.

Answer 7

You have to stand for something or you'll fall for anything.

Answer 8

Like this;
( I ) expected you too be her on time.
( I ) have decided.
( I ) will not allow this to continue.
..............Just for starter.........Eye Contact!...........Be firm!