I caught my husband cheating and I want a divorce, we have a child. I am a full time student and work only part time what are my options as far as getting a divorce fast, but cheap. I want full custody!
2006-06-20 19:23:46 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
why is cheating so horrible? it's not the man's fault. it's society's. everything has a purpose and we are hard-wired to recognize that objective values do exist. why is there a hymen if it has no purpose? why do very young girls suffer emotional and physical pain when they get pregnant early? why is it so hard for women to accept the fact that love is something you give and not something you feel? why is it so hard for men to control their urges when they know that promiscuity leads to emotional suicide?it seems that we are not ruled by reason anymore. we just go with the flow. give the man a chance. it's not his fault that he cheated and it's not your fault either. life is tough enough.maybe through forgiveness both of you can learn something more important. have a nice day
2006-06-20 19:38:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
OK. So u caught him. Now up goes everything & it all goes out the window. Did u ask him why? What went wrong in your marriage? What about your child! Its future, its security, growing up - coming home to mammy & daddy!
At least try to figure out why before 3 futures & lives go down the tube! At least u should do that. Marriages have sustained far worse & survived. How many women themselves actually go thru their married life without going off the rails.
As said here by others, no its not easy and your hurt, but right now he's still you husband so can u mend the fence? Mend it together? Have mom & dad look after your child and take off together some place and talk, work it out.
If u dont at least do that - you'll spend the next something years regretting it. If it doesn'tk work at least u know u gave it all u had to make it. Surely for all 3 of u its got to be worth trying first.
2006-06-20 20:29:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before you jump to divorce have you thought about talking to your husband? Cheating is horrible - but people do make mistakes and to end your marriage without thinking about saving it seems like you are acting on emotions because you are hurting right now.
You should consider talking to him and asking him to be honest with you. See if you two can work things out and get into marriage counseling. I wish you the best - and by the way there is no fast and easy divorce - it's going to hurt you, him, and your child - and the odds of him not getting visitation and/or partial custody are small as long as he is a good father.
2006-06-20 19:26:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Slow down girl, I know your feeling a whole lot of different feelings right now and you haven't come to the place for thinking it through. Has he done this before? Is this a one-time fling? If this was a moment of weakness on his part, it did'nt just happen, it had to have a reason. Perhaps he is running away from a problem at home.
Your man seems to be trapped in a double bind, and he only fooled himself by this mistake. If you have a child together, I'm sure he had no intentions of jeapradizing his relationship with you. I mean what couple would put their gratification first and leave the child out of it. Only the child grows up and regrets not having the same mom and dad that lovingly supported him throughout his life.
Seriously, I would try to come to shore and make some sense out of this, if not for your child's sake then for your own peace of mind. I know that this cannot be erased and cannot be shrugged off. But consider true forgiveness, it has wonderful healing powers. It restores eyesight; you'll suddenly see yourself much more clearly. The person who cannot forgive must be blind to his own faults. Your saying that you have never done anything that needed to be forgiven. But when we truly see ourselves, we discover something! All of our lives others have been quietlyforgiving us. Everyday our partner is overlooking faults we've hardly noticed. Then too, forgiveness lets us see our partner more clearly. Unforgiveness distorts our vision. Everything goes out of focus. Faults are magnified out of proportion, while our good points blur into oblivion. But once we forgive, our vision is restored and our perspective comes back. Then your wound will be healed. Forgiveness is total acceptance. This includes acceptance of the injury and the suffering and acceptance of the one who caused the suffering. To forgive is to give oneself, asking nothing in return. It is to love where hate would be the natural response. It pardons the one who deserves only punishment. It frees him from the burden of guilt. In the end your family will be a whole unit instead of a severed unit. God Bless and I hope your heart will be softened to be able to see more clearly.
2006-06-20 20:37:01 · answer #4 · answered by trieghtonhere 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have patience. Having caught your hubby cheating you once shouldn't be a valid reason for you to go for divorce in a situation that you have a child. Afterall, after getting divorce, you can have your life in a manner desired or destined to you, but the up-bringing of your child is more important. So you can conspiciously forgive him this time and maintain your family life more carefully.
2006-06-20 19:28:32 · answer #5 · answered by mkm 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one can tell you what to do. That's some thing you have to make a decision about your self. But I can tell you what I did when I caught my ex cheating. I thought she was a friend. She also was married. I passed out and when i woke up they were not in the living room. I went to the bed room opened the door and caught the straight up in the middle of it. All I did was picked up his clothes got our babies and went home. When he came home a few days later with " baby I love you, I was messed up, BLAH BLAH BLAH"
I acted like every thing was hunky dory. Got him messed up one more time took him to bed and after I had him at FULL attention and he was passed out I SUPER GLUED that rock right to his stomach. The next morning he didn't know what the hell happened. Wonder what story he told the Dr. Needless to say I left his *** and divorced it big time because like they say if he will do it once he will do it a million. But the super glue is a great big eye opener. Good luck. Let me know what you decided to do.
Super glue mama
2006-06-20 21:14:07 · answer #6 · answered by Kat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you prob wont get full custody unless you can really prove he is an unfit father. a lot of courts today feel that the mother and father should share custody with the child. there is no cheap way to do it if you want to fight for custody. the only thing i can suggest is to call around in your area and find a good lawyer that will accept payments. good luck
2006-06-20 19:26:50 · answer #7 · answered by kantriella 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to work it our for the sake of the child. Cheap divorce will not be easy especially if you both start fighting for custody.
2006-06-20 19:31:20 · answer #8 · answered by G.V. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband disrespected you and will do it again if you stay. He needs to learn a lesson. Go to Legal Services in your state sometimes women can get divorces for free, you might qualify since you are a student. Get all the money you can out of him for your child. Leave the BASTARD.
2006-06-20 20:00:02 · answer #9 · answered by mothers finest 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you really love him? Divorce is so easy now a days. How old is your child? How will this affect the child? People cheat because of underlying issues. How is your marriage? Has he done this while you dated? You married him because you loved him and he loved you, if there was something there to start with then there is something there to fight for.
2006-06-20 19:29:36 · answer #10 · answered by bimbojackson 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋