hey... i've got a jealous friend?

Question

hey frnds, this may sound weird. i had a great friend who was obese and bad looking. she dieted n exercised and now looks better. When she got better looking , she acts like she is jealous of me.To be frank (i'm not exaggerating), I'm very beautiful . I was elected the best looking one of our college and all that. This gal had no problem till she was slim n better looking. now she is acting jealous. she would put some nasty remarks, subtle hints etc. and wait, all these remarks are honey -coated in the outside. The problem is , i like this gal if it was not for her this particular behaviour. what can i do?

see friends, i'm not jealous of her . but i miss my old gal. she was condfident and arrogant before also. she was the one who was more confident. in fact we can say she was very manly before. now she has turned into a common jealous gal. it is not a case of a shy one - turn - confident.

Answer 1

When she says things like that and you feel she has a hidden agenda with her comment, jump on it right there infront of whoever she said it infront of with, " and what exactly are you trying to say?". If she pretends she meant nothing say "oh OK but that sounded really bitchy". This will warn her not to try it again. Don't lose your cool with her but don't let her get away with it. In her mind she's still a fat girl not worth looking at so give her some room while she figures herself out. I had the opposite problem, I met a friend who was very slim and fairly pretty. She met me post pregnancy and then almost immediately pregnant again. I'm huge when I'm pregnant (over 200 pounds) but normally about 135-40 pounds and 5 foot 8 inches tall. I then moved away due to my husband's job at 9 months pregnant. When she saw me 8 months later and 145 pounds she couldn't handle it and threw comments out about me all the time, including telling some new friends of hers (when I went to visit her) how big I was over and over again. She also made comments that my butt would soon tighten up if I worked on it!!!???!!! I finally said "and what the hell does that mean?" After a few times she finally shut up and I never had to have it out with her.

Answer 2

Yea your going to have to have a heart2heart with her. It may be hard to believe but there are A LOT of people out her like that. Could it be possibly that maybe you are the jealous one. Maybe you are use to her being quite or a "yes" woman to you, and now that she's more secure with herself you don't like the new "friend"? Just a thought.

One last thing is. You can't expect people to be the same forever. People will be different based on the circumstances. In her case she was one way when she was fat so naturally she will be another way skinny. A person can be one way when they're broke, but another when they have money. These are just the facts of life. Accept her for who she is, because 9/10 she's not going to stop being her. She might at first, but a one's real self will always overcome a front.

Answer 3

Don't talk to her anymore because she must not be a good friend if she is jealous. People can be envious and wish they have the same things that friends do but envious is different, you wouldn't take anything away from a person, you just wish you had it. Or maybe you can just back off for now and she can realize that you were a good friend to her and maybe she will stop being so rude. Good friends don't come along very often so maybe she will realize what a jerk she has been to you and if she doesn't she probably doesn't deserve the friendship you could give to her.

Answer 4

Hmm...that's the least thing one would expect. If anything, she would have gotten big headed and arrogant after-wards but, jealousy? Weird, however she might because she feels that...after she's lost all her weight, and now more guys are paying her attention, you're in a way still...competition. You still have the spotlight and she probably assumed that all of that would eventually change and it hasn't.

You need to sit her down and chat, talk about how much her friendship means to you, now, and before the weight lost and something as trivial as jealousy shouldn't get in the way of that.

The best of luck hun... :)

Answer 5

If someone irritates you, you might just want to spend less time with them. It's ok to hang out more with other people and less with this friend. This way, you won't get unnecessarily annoyed and will be less likely to snap and say something you will later regret. I don't think that confronting her about this is the best idea. Its just such an unconcrete subject you might come off as if you're self absorbed. Maybe she'll come around and maybe she won't but that's up to her.

Answer 6

Ask her what the deal is. WHy is she acting this way? Be upfront and just tell her flat out. Tell her you were there for her when she wsa ugly and fat. So whats the deal? Maybe she will snap back into reality and think of you as a good friend she might loose if she keeps acting they way she does. Good Luck

Answer 7

you have to call her on the remarks that hurt you,express to her how they make you feel instead of attacking her,also it might be hard to do,but you have to take a hard look at yourself and decide if you feel a little threatened now that she's more attractive,that can be a cause of the tone you think she's giving you

Answer 8

step one: talk to her.
step two: when that does not solve the problem, let the remarks enter through one ear and out through the other. after all she is ur friend

Answer 9

Sounds like she USED to be jealous of you, now she's in YOUR league and maybe you are a little aware of the competition??? She was your friend when she was fat, she's STILL your friend!!!

Answer 10

I'd talk to her. Explain her concerns and make life better for the both of you rather it means continuing your friendship or letting it go.