Just wondering what other people think. In my heart I believe he will one day. In my head I have doubts. When we first met neither of us had intentions of leaving our spouses but "things happen" and now we are in love. We have been together for 4 years and have a child together. He spends all of his free time with us and does not try and keep or relationship a secret anymore. His wife knows and chooses to "deal with it". Before he started seeing me he had ALWAYS cheated on her and since we have been together he has not been with anyone. And before anyone says "are you sure?" YES I AM! We live in a small town, I would know. As far as things go with him and her, he has just gotten in over his head and I really don't think he ever thought he would find someone that he wanted to leave her for. On her behalf I have to say she has been really good to him he just never loved her. So...... if they fall in love , will men eventually leave? Just looking for others' opinions. That's all. Thanks
2006-06-20 17:33:47 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
They have no kids together. Thank God. Would be ugly divorce though. She would rather see him in prison, back in his own country, (he's an immigrant) or completely broke, than to be with me. I don't think she could possibly still love him but she does not want to be alone either. Nor does she want him with me. She has admitted to him several times that she knows he is in love with me.
2006-06-20 17:48:57 · update #1
Yes they do. I did, and have never looked back. It was hard but when I found the woman that I knew I was meant to be with I knew I could not stay with my wife. It would not be fair to either of us. You are lucky that there are no children involved in their relationship. My ex was hell when it came to leaving. She pulled out all the stops. Threatened to take everything that I had worked for my entire life but I didn't care. It was, she was, worth it. Be patient! It sounds to me like he does love you. You can't help who you fall in love with or who you fall out of love with. Oh the big whore word! That was everybodys favorite. They're just jealous. Like I said, he will leave. Good luck and have fun in the meantime.
2006-06-20 18:00:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
No one can answer this question for sure - only him. From what you have written I would have to say NO he probably won't leave her. Men for some reason or another generally do not leave their wives. Whether or not they love the mistress more or not. The whole situation sounds so sad. Your bf has everything doesn't he? He has a wife that treats him great and loves him and a mistress that does the same. Have you ever given him an ultimatum? Either you leave or I'm leaving? It's certainly NOT fair to you to be the "other" woman. And it's really not fair to her either. It's certainly not fair to any of the children that are involved in this. If he hasn't left yet he probably won't. So you may have to make the decision to go out and find a husband of your own. You deserve to be happy and not in this constant state of limbo. In giving him an ultimatum you will certainly know where you stand for sure...you just may not like the answer. But be strong. Find someone who is deserving of your love! Good Luck!
2016-03-26 23:30:37 · answer #2 · answered by Yesennia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a sad situation and I hope he does not have kids with her. What were you thinking. Seriously why do people want someone that is married. Any way it is a tuff call he may leave her but divorce is hard and costs lots of money. He may like the situation just like it is if he gets sick of her he goes to you and when he gets sick of you he runs to her. He may have always cheated on her but he and she are still there. This sounds doubtful. Good luck and I hope some day you get smart and find your self a real man and I am sorry for the child that has to see this. It will be very confusing and bad example for your child.
2006-06-20 17:39:06 · answer #3 · answered by rioladymorris1 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, some men do leave their wives for "the other" woman.Problem is it doesn`t turn into this wonderful fairy tale.He has kids with her,maybe and u have 1 child, consider what will happen if you two stay together ,or if he leaves his wife.Not a promising future to say the least, and many heart aches will follow.Even if there are no kids,or the one baby that you have,this is going to get ugly, get out of it while you can. Run as fast as you can.DC
2006-06-20 17:45:22 · answer #4 · answered by deedeeco1738 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I think having an affair with anyone is terrible regardless of whether or not the person doesn't love their wife or not. The man your dating is a creep. It's your life and people have a choice to do what they want to but its obvious in this situation someone will eventually get hurt, deeply too. Just keep in mind that what comes around goes around and your no innocent in the situation either regardless of what that man is telling you.
Will he leave her for you? When men get bored or tired or fall out of love with their spouse and have affairs the whole thing happens very quickly. They meet someone else, they feel guilty about ending the relationship so they contemplate the consequences of leaving for a moment but very shortly, (like within a few months) they choose. Men are not like women. When they know what they want they go for it. I don't know how long you have been seeing him but my judgement tells me he would of left her for you by now and served her divorce papers if thats what he wanted. You are just on the side. He knows your not smart and just keeps you hanging around for a screw buddy.
You are most likely being used and living in a fantasy dreamworld. If you get hurt you have no one to blame but yourself. You are no victim and should wake up.
2006-06-20 17:57:41 · answer #5 · answered by Blah Blah Blah 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself....do you have a friend or personally know any woman that their married lover actually divorced his wife and married or lived with the the woman he was having an affair with...as in your situation? I am sorry to say that years ago I had a married male friend having an affairs with several women at the same time. He told each of them that he was going to leave his wife and kids to marry them. Of course when asked by these ladies, he would always have a "reason" why they had to wait. He used the usual excuses...he'd be ruined financially and needs time to but the house, stocks, etc in his name...his wife will take the kids and move another state...she might become violent if she discovers their relationship, etc. Sure, sometimes this may be true: but it amazes me as to why women beleive this BS...escpecially when he uses one excuse after another. I was on the other end of the situation. My wife (now ex-wife) contacted one of those find your CLASSMATE websites and started an "internet love affair" with not 1 but 2 former high school boyfriends. Each of them were on their second marriage because their 1st wives divorced them for cheating. Naturally both guys told her that if she were single (ie...if she got a divorce) they would leave their wives and marry her. Of course, they wanted to meet her to talk about old times and rekindle the spark. Naturally what they really wanted was to get her in bed. What a surprise, she bought it and traveled several hundred miles to see each of them and did indeed "rekindle" the spark.... Well, exactly 20 years to the day our divorce was final and you guessed it. Neither of the guys left their wife and they told her not to contact them ever again. The bright side to the hold mess is that I demanded custody of our only child, my son Andrew and she agreed without hesitation. You see, even though I know she loves him very much and was a wonderful mother, she thought that bringing a 14 year boy into her new marriage might scare the guy off.....even though they each had kids.
So bottom line....my opinion is that he won't get divorced unless his wife files. I agree with the other members. If he is cheating with you, has cheated before...he will definitely cheat on you. In fact, my guess is that he may already be doing it. As you live in a small town, if he is cheating on you (and his wife too) it is with someone in a nearby town. Even if he is not cheating on you now; statistically the odds are he will in the future. By the way, I assume he is still having sex with his wife (guys like this always do). So depending on how you look at it; if he loves you and dosen't love her (as you mentioned) then he is cheating on you already. Then again, he probably told you he is sleeping in a different room or on the sofa. If you haven't already, you might want to ask him if and why he his having sex with another woman (even though it is with his wife) if he loves only you. What ever he says, why on earth would you believe him? By the way; the married friend of who was seeing multiple women...I told him I couldn't be his friend any longer. If he would lie to his wife, the odds are he would lie to me also.
Good luck.
2006-06-21 06:11:15 · answer #6 · answered by iraq51 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has a wife and you sleep with him and have a kid together, that's cute. Well one thing is for sure even if he does leave her for you, do you really think that he will be satisfied with just you. And what makes you so sure that he doesn't have a third whore on the side. I guess you all will know when you catch some nasty STD. And maybe the next time he goes to slip it in on you, you should think about where it has been, in his wife, and in other whores like you. Also that is called Adultery... a sin... dumb dumb.
2006-06-20 17:39:23 · answer #7 · answered by iluvmyduckies05 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was on the oposite side as yours. And consider Karma as natures why of getting even. I left my child's father because he cheated on me. Then began a relationship w/ a man who left his girlfriend for me. Who in turn cheated on me off & on for 8 yrs and eventually left me for a younger girl. However he now is unfaithful to her. So think about it, even if he left his wife for you, do you think you can change his behavior. The fantasy is always better than the reality and it's human nature to want what we can't have. In less developed countries men have more than one wife because some men simply can't commit and 'don't know what they want'. A lot of times some men are just never satisfied. They want what's in front of them at the present time only.
2006-06-20 18:03:45 · answer #8 · answered by R's nickname 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Liz, why won't he leave her for you if basically he has more of a relationship with you than her? Is it due to religious beliefs? Economics? Small children with her? Please elaborate.
BTW, statistics say that if the married spouse does not leave their spouse within the first six months of the affair, they will never leave the marriage. All parties just get used to the triangle. Sad, but true.
2006-06-20 17:38:51 · answer #9 · answered by Randa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well look at it like this...If he is really in love with you and no longer in love with her...then what is he waiting for?
In your heart you believe he will leave because you want to believe that, but the truth is 9.99 times out of 10, most of them don't leave their wives...Especially since she knows about you and is ok with it...Why would he leave her? He's getting 2 for the price of 1.
2006-06-20 17:38:07 · answer #10 · answered by Truth Hurts 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋