Do most men want to leave their wives when they have kids?

Question

I noticed that many men don't want the responsibility of both marriage and kids. What do men want out of their lives?

Answer 1

A marriage and kids are responsibilites...ones that take time and freedom away from doing other things. Guys are very selfish with their time as a whole. If having a family IS NOT a high priority with the man, it becomes like a pressure cooker until they just explode and want this 'freedom' that they think they don't have.

Another thing is having kids and men. We men are SCARED TO DEATH to have kids...the majority of us are. But once the baby is here, most of us can't imagine life without them. There are a few that don't get it, even after the babies arrive...but those are the ones to avoid if you want kids.

Personally, I don't think everyone should have kids either. Society has brought it upon us that having kids and a marriage is what you should do...that it's normal. Neither are right for EVERYONE. It shouldn't be decisions taken lightly...because that is how lives get ruined.

Answer 2

I have ten-month old twins, and a happy marriage. My wife and I are fully committed to each other, and to our children. We're happy, secure and faithful.

And yet, for the first five weeks of trying to raise these kids, there were times that I wanted to leave. I was exhausted; I was feeling like I had no idea what I was getting into, and with no sleep, I couldn't get the perspective necessary to see that it was going to come to an end; that is, that it would get better as we got used to caring for them, and as they got older.

We got through it, but it made me realize how hard it must be to keep a relationship together after kids are born, if the relationship is on shaky ground to begin with. You see, kids are HARD, and they change your life completely. It's easy to be overwhelmed, and to want to get away.

You should know, however, that this isn't about leaving one's wife; it's about being overwhelmed by the responsibility of children. If the relationship is secure and the parents are stable and loving, the feeling will pass and everything will work out fine.

If not, however, then it may be the straw that breaks the camel's back. Incidentally, this is the second-biggest reason why you shouldn't have kids to keep a relationship together, because it will more likely break it apart.

(the biggest reason not to do it, of course, is because it's not fair to a child to bring them into the world without the security of a stable family.)

Answer 3

Hey I'm a man and the only thing I ever wanted was a loving wife and lots of kids. I live for my family; they are everthing to me. I think a lot of men are just not mature enough to realise that having kids is a huge responsibility. Most people always seek out just the pleasure. I also think that before kids men have their wife to themselves but after kids they have to take second place. A lot of men find this too hard to accept. I accept fully that I will always be second to my children, but I would not have it any other way. My children should come first to me and my wife.

Answer 4

Most men dont know how to deal with responsibility, they like the whole having a wife and kids thought, but when they realize that this is a whole different era, and that they actually have to help out with the kids, they no longer want anything more to do with it. I guess most of them have watched way too much television...you know June Cleaver???? yeah...thats what men really want.

Answer 5

I don't think this is true at all if you refer to responsible, mature men. Guys who haven't "grown up" yet may be problematic when kids are introduced into the picture. I mean it's healthy for everyone to have "a little bit of kid" still in them - helps with spontaneity, but most all of my male friends who have kids love to spend time with them and mom. What does occur in many marriages is when one parent or the other prioritizes the kids over the spouse categorically. This may be what you're seeing.

Answer 6

By now, men know marriage leads to kids. However we want to fly, do our thing etc, and that's why men are so scarred of marriage and it should be last resort. So yes, men know what they want. Now if we love somebody and decide to get married, we know a kid is coming (that's partly what marriage is for). So it rolls fine. Trick me into having a kid, or hide some important things, or trick me into getting married to you and I might bail out when the occasion arises. Simples as that. If you met one who changed his mind in the middle of the run, then you got the bad apple, not the generality

Answer 7

Men that don't want the responsibility of kids after they commit the act to produce them are immature, and should not have become parents in the first place. Women should not have children with men who don't want the responsibility , period.

Answer 8

That is a stupid question. Of course not. Most men want the same things as women (although not exactly the same way that women think). My commitment to my wife grew when we had children - and we both took the responsibility very seriously.

Answer 9

Well some men are not ready for the responsibility of having a child. Yet their wife is pregnant and she wants the baby. So the men may not want to leave them but have no choice. Because there not ready to have a child yet and they get depresed and stressed.

Answer 10

Man just wants complementing partner and share the burden of life together. If women becomes burden too and does not compliment on gaps it become hard to carry on with responsibility and live a life. Basically Men wants a life to live with good time. Misery all the time brings them feel down and that is the worst thing men can feel on to live a life with so much of tension and donkey work.. So just be with them and make them feel you are equally part of them forgetting gender difference and feminine thoughts..