what do you do if you suspect your husband of cheating ? I already know he is text messaging some girl.?

Question

She has text him the past two saturdays as far as I know. He says he loves me and loves his family but now I just don't believe him. He knows I check his phone. He says you shouldn't check my phone I say you shouldn't be talking to any girls. Need suggestions.

Answer 1

You need definite proof that he is cheating. Innocent until proofed guilty! What was the message?
If he is innocent, he should listen to your concern and feeling. If he is not willing to work with you within reason, the relationship will be rocky or get worse.
Try your best to be calm, reasonable and find out the facts.
Good luck.

Answer 2

This is the problem with society. People don't believe that a guy and a girl can be in a platonic friendship. I do believe in respect though. If your husband respects you, he should inform you of this other girl...meaning he should really consider introducing her to you first until you are comfortable. If you are the jealous type, he will be hesitant in doing so because people have a way of hiding things from their partner when they want to prevent an argument. If he knows you check his phone and he did not erase the text messages, he is obviously either not too smart at hiding his secret or two he has nothing to hide. Don't assume the worst until you find the true evidence. In other words, give him the benefit of the doubt. I can't imagine anyone ending a marriage over text messaging (depending on the content of the message, you may need to further probe this issue with him). Good luck!

Answer 3

Trust is one of the pillar of the relationship and when it's gone, it's gone. You have the right to do that checking thing, normally you shouldn't, but like with the law, when there's probable cause, then go for it, investigates, who knows, you might end up saving your marriage. I have read a good book tho, and you can find more info on http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ ... We all have needs, and if your husband is going out of the marriage, that means he might not find what he needs inside. I suggest you rent the book from the library, it's called His Need, Her Needs and it's by Dr Harley. I do think it's right on point... and it will give you all the details. There is nothing you can do but to outsmart the situation, because you are the one who obviously care more, so you have the work to do and at the same time, he's an adult: one day he could get up, pack up and pop off. So be careful about it and read on

Answer 4

HONESTLY THE FIRST THING YOU NEED TO DO IS GO GET TESTED FOR STDS! You have to look out for your personal health, so if you think your husband is having an affair it would be wise to figure out some form of protection if you choose to have sex with him.

Ultimately though you must decide if this is something that you are willing to confront or are you willing to just stay in your marriage for the security.

I WILL GIVE YOU AN APPROACH THAT WILL WORK BUT IT IS DRASTIC IF YOU WANT TO CONFRONT YOUR HUSBAND INFIDELITY!

Don't tell your husband that you are getting tested for STDS. After you get your results back don't tell him the outcome just tell him that you went to get tested and the reason (that you thought he was cheating on you).

Make sure you express that you have never cheated on him(if it is true) but you were scared and did not want to be a 50 year old wife who has been married for 25 years who ended up with HIV.

Now chances are he will deny, cheating on you. You should be able to tell if he is telling the truth.

IT IS DRASTIC, BUT UNEXPECTED POTENTIAL LIFE CHANGING EVENTS TAKES AWAY THE LYING!

Answer 5

Talk to him, but you already have proof that he's up to something. Don't be dumb and suprised when you find him screwing her. It always starts out small, with talking and texting and it will get worse if you give him the chance.
You need to ask him what is really going on and tell him that you're pissed. It needs to stop and if it doesn't the wife and family he so "dearly" loves will be gone.
All this mooshy-gusshy talk about how you feel stuff to a guy doesn't get the point across.
Be straightforword and upfront. Don't let him do this to you because if it bothers you, it's important.

Good luck girl!

Answer 6

There is no point checking him, come striaght to the point ask yourself if you still love him? you still want the family? If yes than talk to him directly to settle the problem. No point checking and end of the day still cannot settle the problem. If you cannot forgive him and don't trust him any more than proceed to what you think is right eg:-counselling, file for separation, or file for divorce and prepare for your coming future to start over a new life.

In order for a relationship to last, both people have to work at it. You have to talk to him. You have to solve the problem together and live openly. It only works though if both people are willing to try hard.

I wish you best of luck...

Answer 7

If you suspect something, there is probably a subconscious level of evidence that you have picked up on, a gut thing if you will. Just don't let him lie to you, he will keep it up, so to speak, as long as he thinks he can get away with it.
Funny story, and I am not recommending you do anything like this.
(Enter Obligatory Disclaimer here.)
I worked with a man, whose wife finally caught him cheating on her. She never let on she knew anything about it.
BUUUUT, one morning he woke up to find his "Little Friend" super glued to his leg.
I never did find out whether he ever did it again, or was just a whole lot more careful about his indescretions. But the scandal lasted for years, we all,
well, not him,
but the rest of us laugh about it to this day.
Enjoy the story ladies, it is a true one. Gotta love the Lorena's of this world.

Answer 8

Time to move on,if this is going on there is more then texting going on.If he loves you he wouldnt be texting her he would you.Dont let him get by with kind words,lift up them shoulders carry your head high and start getting ready to live the life you always dreamed of ,even if its going to be hard,hard will only make you stronger and show your kids taht there mother had strength .What you show your kids today will be a big impact on how they will deal and handle things in life.Would you want your little girl to be going threw this?Well what you would tell her somday you should tell yourself.He tells you that you should not be looking at his phone,well thats when it would see the river,let her text the fish.or text her back telling her he has STD.God speed

Answer 9

Get a trusted adult to mediate a conversation between the two of you. Your marriage is worth trying both of your best to work this through. Prepare questions, statements on paper first so when you ask if doesn't come out too emotional/dramatic. You need answers. Sounds like he needs counseling. But, first, he is in denial and in a position of defensiveness. If you believe your love is strong enough to weather this storm....than make every effort to do your part in loving him brave enough to draw boundaries, get help, be patient and eventually..you may need to forgive.

Answer 10

YoU know its the same thing always in life you cant control anyone! So forget the phone and get a life outside of him cause you may be alone anytime ,Theres no way to tell just cause he says he loves you its forever! Easy come easy go! Just love who your with at the moment for as long as it lasts!