How can I not let people hurt me?

Question

I have a really low sel-esteem, and everything negative that people say about me really has an impact in my life. It all started when I was younger and this guy told me I was ugly, from then on I get hurt very easily. My mother has always insulted me when we get into an arugment; she calls me so many things and they all hit me pretty hard even though she later apologizes and says that she did not mean that. How can I block this from me when all my life I have thought the worst about myself? This is really hard because I have even thought about doing the worst things to myself... yes it is stupid but every single word that she was said to me has really affected me in a negative way. I do not LIKE MYSELF, I feel uncomfortable with my appearance and everything about me. I need help but do not seek it, can someone please give me advice, PLEASE.

Answer 1

i think u should talk to a very close friend or shrink about it, and im sure proffesional help will help more than my advice
but i say, stay strong and dont let words bring u down
ur a beautiful person inside i bet, and very smart
dont let jack a.s.s's bring u down babygrl, ok?
luv always, jess
[e-mail]

Answer 2

Angie,
I have been where you are. You failed to mention how old you are, but I am 28 and I am still having this problem. I let what people say to me or about me bother me so much that I missed out on a lot of opportunities in my life, because I did not think that I was worthy of anything good. It is hard to overlook what a parent tells you, since they are supposed to love you unconditionally and when they break that trust and cross into that territory that seems so full of anger and hatred, it is tough to forgive them and believe that they do care about us.
I didn't like myself for a long time either, In fact, every day is a struggle. But more and more, I am finding that what people say about me or what they think of me doesn't matter unless I give them that power, and knowing that I can give or take that power makes their opinions worth little value.
Try journaling to overcome the anger and hurt that people have caused you. I am doing it, and it seems to help.
Don't give up on yourself. Find something that you enjoy doing and do more of it. Your confidence will soar and you will begin to feel better. I hope you get better girl. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Good luck. You can do this!

Answer 3

Daddy always said opinions are like @sshles everyone has one. The main thing to remember here is that you mustn't take them seriously. I know for a FACT that no-matter what you do, how you act. How many or less good or bad things you do people are gonna talk. This you can't control. Your reaction to these you can control. I used to let these things bother me, too. Just try not to think about it. Easier said than done I know but you can do it. As far as your mother goes all I can tell you about that one is I have a mother like that too and I just don't talk to her no more than I have too. If shes on the phone and starts her act than I hang up. If we are in the same room I leave. Since I started this she has become much calmer around me. good luck

Answer 4

alot of people are "uncomfortable" with thier apperance, I mean, Im 6' 1" and around 210 pounds (27.5 BMI). Im dorky and alot of peope don't get me. Everybody thinks a play football but I am not very strong. Funny eh? A big guy with no strenght and who is terrible at sports. Im not emotionaly strong, if people ***** at me a get really mad and start to braw becuase im not a good linguist. I just take a very passive perspective on everything. Its sovles most problems. When a friend says somthing completely wrong I say "that may be, I don't know". when my parents get mad at me I just do what they say, or leave for a few days.



And a great way to deal with mean people is just to tell them there a "******* Bastard", and never look back.
hope this helps,
[e-mail]

Answer 5

i face the same problem. i happen to be very self conscious and have a low self esteem but guess what...stick and stones may break your bones but words does no physically harm to you. emotionally you can deal with, i have put something to test and so far the result have been worth it. whenever someone pass a comment about me i tend to tune them out, it don't make any sense trying to fight fire with fire because if u should answer back them it will lead to fighting. ignoring someone is by far one of the best way avoiding a argument and trust mi it's very insulting. imagine someone claiming to be arguing with u and u just ignore them...lol...trust mi it works. and when they finish blow off steam u just laugh within yourself and u will feel so much better. listen everyone is beautiful in there own way. God have created every human being in his own form and way and everyone is precious.If u tell yourself that u are ugly then eventually u are going to start believing that...whenever someone, ur mother or ur friends or just anyone in general pass a comment to hurt u just chant this in your mind... 'i am beautiful...i am beautiful' saying that boost ur self esteem and eventually u will see that u r not ugly. no one is.... i hope this helps because it sure does 4 me...bye....much luv!

Answer 6

I use to feel the same way, a few years ago. Unfortunately the only person that can help you is you. Let me tell you what I did, maybe it will help. One day, I look inthe mirror and said "why do I feel this way?" I started anylising my life, just like you are doing. Than I realize that the same people that were putting me down, were not better than me. Infact, they were in some cases worse. Thsy were just putting me down to make themselve look good. So I said to may self " if they are not better than me, why should I let them put me down" I went to the hair salon, got a make over and enjoy life. NO ONE HAS THE POWER TO PUT YOU DOWN IF YOU DO NOT LET THEM. Next time someone try to put you down. Look at who is talking. Look at what they have accomplished in life, now look at the good things that you have accomplished in life. Compare them. YOU WILL BE THE WINNER. Also, when people talk about you bad or good, they are making you more popular. Someone that talks bad about you or anyone else, its just envyous of you and what you achieve.

think about that next time that you are in the mirror. You are beautiful, because you are unique. No one can be like you.

Answer 7

Oh wow. I was in the same boat a few years ago. Very over weight , lots of pimples, bad hair, bad glasses, EVERYTHING!! And the same with me as far as negative comments, I would hear them all the time and I felt like sometimes I would want to kill myself. And I felt like I had nobody in this whole world. I am not really sure at what point I got away from all that. I guess I lost some weight, started taking care of my body, started being myself and people learned to love me. I know its stupid and everyone says it, but honey just forget about what everyone says. I know it is sooo hard, but if people don't like you, then thats THEIR problem. I had SOOO many people who didnt like me or made me feel bad, and I just let them go, totally out of my life. You will meet people who make you feel good and who show you they appreciate you and love you and you are special. I am sure your mother loves you, but maybe sometimes (and she is a normal human being) she sometimes lets things slip out that she really doesnt mean. You need to start doing things that make you like yourself. You dont like your appearance? Honey, get out there and do something about it. Start exercising, go get make-up, get your hair done. Life is too short to feel that way. Dont like your inner-self? Go to a church and speak with God, go volunteer, go meet new people who are interested in things you are. Just believe in yourself and let all that negative energy you get from everyone just fall right off you. You are amazing and YOU NEED TO START BELIEVING IT FOR YOURSELF!!!

Answer 8

Im in the same boat but what you need is some high energy and an i dont care attitude don let what people say get to yah tell em of and if that dont work you get in their face and tell them i dont take your BS and sometimes it causes them to back down and sometimes it causes more problems you gotta show people you aint gonna take it or they walk all over ya i know because i finally am getting over from being picked on for 7 years straigh and i finally took a stand and people still talk but they wont get into my face with it or dare say to me. its just to do with attitude walk and will. show them who you really are! not what they think you are.

Answer 9

awwwwww........i know how u feel...i feel the same way as u do...i mean, my mom says thing 2 me 2; but maybe ur is worser than mine....i think im ugly cause well growing up, people just said i was the "smart sister"...u can try 2 seek help somewhere; like get therapy....it may help...or just try and talk 2 ur mom about whats going on, although it may be hard...good luck and best wishes

Answer 10

i kno how u feel n i have thought about doing hurtful things to myself but i met someone that really cares for me n knows the answer to all ma problems. wat u need is a good friend that u can talk 2 when u r down n if u want u can talk 2 me through e-mail at [e-mail]. u should try to get away from the ones who hurt u most! gurl i hope u get through ur issues n learn 2 handle them the way i did mine!!!