why me why my life?

Question

hello i am a mother ofa 10 week and 3 day old son and i am abused by my husband it all started before we got married he get drunk and would tell me he use to beat his first and 2nd wife but i still married thanking it be diffrert for me but i was wrong, first it was yelling, then he would tell me he would hit me he would say stuff like i was lucky he not hit me because he could really hurt me then the grabbing started he would grab me by the arm so hard it would leaves marks he would pin me to the wall so i could not move and yellthen one day he got so drung and grabed my arm telling me he was going hit me and i told him i was not scared of him so he told me i batter be hecause he could kill me then he pushed me so hard a almost fall i finel thongh he calm down so i went to bed he would come in and yell call me names then he set on the bad and puch me so hard i fell of the bed, then i got pranget we got in to it he was so drunk he grab my arms and puch in to the door and for the first time i was scared i though he was going hit me and all i could thank of was not to let him so i slaped him because i though he would hit my tummy and make me lose my baby then the same nigh he trow rock at me and he would hold his fist up and tell me he wish i would lose the baby but he never did touch me because he had is drug buddy over he told my husband if he wanted any drug he would not touch me so he stoped he finel calm down, then when i was 4 months prangent we got in to it he wanted money for the drugs and i wouldnot give it to him so he hit me 2 times on the arm telling me next time it be my face the he grabed a baseball bat and told if i not give him the money he hit me with it so i gave him the money then he lift but he come back with the stuff and telling me h was sorry he hit me he was crying he said it never happen again and i told him i for give him i belive he would not do it again but i was wrong because when i was 6 months prangent we had no money and no food because he took all the money for the drugs and you can't get food without money. finely we got a call telling us we could move in with my family so we could get my husband clean the day befor the move he was getting high on that stuff his lighter was out so he was useing a candle and i not want him doing them drugs so i blow out the candle and he slaped me in the face and all i did was go to bed telling my self it all stop when we get to texas but i was wrong he started telling me who i can and cn't talk to where i can and can't go he had to know where i was at ever min even when i went to the bathroom he would give me money and i have to tell him how much i spent, where and what i got finely on march 31 2006 i had my son he was so sweet but that only was for 2 weeks then the yelling started back he would yell at me at welmart where people could hear he would call me names he would tell me woman know nothing and men knew it all then on june 3 2006 we went to eat he got drunk he went 6 monthsno dranking so when he got drunk he got mean and started yelling at me we was on the side of the road walking he would tell me i was a bad mother the he grabed me so hard i though he pull my clothes off he let go of me we got behind this church and for some reason i can't remember why set down on the ground by then the yelling got worse my son started crying soi was feeding him but he was still in his stroller my husband we tell me he would not hit me he say he could go to jail if he did then he hit me so hard on the arm it turn purple it as the first time ever he lift a mark and again he told me he hit my face next time and i told himi was not scared so he started comeing to me with his fist up telling me i batter be scared. then he put his hands in my face i was so scared he would hit me again i could not look at him he then knid of man if you don't look it makes him worse finel he calm down, the 5 days ago i not fold up the baby diaper up so he slaped me . i always though it was from dranking and the drugs that maid him mean they was a part of it but then one day we got in to over the drugs it would be part of it, then i found out he don't have to be drunk to treat me bad because for a long time i did not see that he was treating me bad now i just hopping he will change because i don't want to leave him i love him but i want him to treat me right he a good father and sometimes he a good man just wish it was all the time

Answer 1

That's the saddest thing i've ever heard. I'm sorry to tell you this, but your life is at risk. I know you love him, and you think he will change. He won't. People who are like that won't ever change. He needs to go to anger management or something to help him deal with his problems.Think about you and the baby. You can't be with him. Once the baby gets older, what if he hits the boy too? now both of you will be hurt. Talk to a family member. Talk to somebody. But I warn you, don't talk to him about anger managment or something alone. Have a few friends there, so that he can't hit you, and if he does, then you're friends can help you. You may love him, but you can't love sombody who doesn't love you. Think about that. Take my advice.

You have my sympothy
and my prayers
Good luck,
be safe
and be happy.

Answer 2

RUN!!RUN FAR AND FAST!!Honey, you are an abused woman and as you said, he did it to his "other wifes".Do you not see a pattern??Now, you are not only hurting you, but you have put a innocent baby in harms way.It is only going to esculate to the point that someone is going to get killed and God forbid its your baby.He has a drug problem.PLEASE do me a huge favor>>>Go get help.Get away.Leave him and go to a shelter or a friend or family members...far away.THEN(when your far away and he cant find you), give him an altimative.Get him to go to a rehab clinic and then anger management.Then go to counseling, if you still want to.Distance will only make your love stronger, if it was meant to be.Please dont let him kill you or that baby.Get help and get it now.If after all this, and you decide to stay away, you WILL find another man that wont hit you or do drugs.PLEASE LEAVE ASAP!!!!!!!

Answer 3

Honey, once an abusive man always an abusive man. You have to decide if you love being abused or love your child. If he abuses you, it will be only misery for your child. He may even start abusing the baby. Love yourself and your child and get away from this man. Love is one thing, but you need to take control of your life and make a new start for you and your son. I hope you love your son ehough to leave even if you can't find it to love yourself enough. It is nothing you have done to make him like this, so nothing you do will change him.

Answer 4

i agree with everyone get out when hes gone leave the state with ur child in fact do to some little bitty town where he cant find u and get a job no one deserves this man u do not love him he hits you!!!!!!!!!!! u are NOT a punching bag and u do not deserve to be and if u get away and get married again to a NICE guy u WILL know that what u felt was NOT love it was hope and u have run ALL out of hope! TRUST ME AND ALMOST ALL THE OTHERS EXCEPT UR HUSBAND LEAVE! i REALLY hope u leave and get safe and every thing begans to become NORMAL and great! pleas trust me good luck may all my hope trust and faith be with u! i will pray every night for a month! god bless u! good luck!!!!!!

Answer 5

have you not read this to yourself??!! You need to leave him. even if you don't know anybody where you are, they have shelters for mothers and their babies. When you child gets older it will not be just you suffering. your child will see this and either try and defend you and be beaten himself (even if you don't think your husband would beat him it will happen, you thought he wouldn't hurt you), and/or the cycle will continue and your child will grow up to be a beater. by allowing your child to grow up in that environment and are putting your child's life in danger. it will only get worse, do NOT think that you can change him. You may think you love him, but maybe it is just the idea of him or his noce side. this is happening in your life because you are allowing it. not every man hits, so leave him and find one that won't. if he threatens or hits you, call the police and his inprisonment will give you the time you need to get out and get hidden. he may look for you for a while, but he'll give up when he finds another person to abuse. maybe try call one of his ex's and find out how they got away. maybe they will help you. DO NOT STAY IN THIS RELATIONSHIP, YOU AND YOUR BABY'S LIVES ARE IN TERRIBLE DANGER!!!

Answer 6

its really sad that you're going through all this pain. but it seems to me like he will NEVER stop. and you say he's a good man and father?? how could he be if he's hitting you? im sure you love him, but why do you really? no woman should ever be treated this way, EVER!! if you stay with him, pretty soon its not just going to be you, it will be your son also. so you better start thinking about what's best for him.

Answer 7

You need to tell a family member, get out of the situation, and probably contact a local abuse center. This is unhealthy for you are especially your child. You have to first get out of the situation and if he really wants to change, he needs counseling and help first and then he needs to prove himself worthy. Good men are capable of bad things. If he really wants to change, he will.

Answer 8

You really need to get away from him urgently. When you become a parent you have to start looking after yourself and put the safety of your child before anything.
IF you do not gat away your son or your lives are completely in danger.
Ask your family to help you.!!!!!!!

Answer 9

You should have left him as soon as he said that he beat on his first and second wife. Why would he be any different? He was violent then and he is violent now. Leave now before he has the chance to hurt your son.

Answer 10

usually someone like that never changes..it would be in your babys best intrest to get away from that .. so the baby wont have to grow up in a abusive family.you need to put the baby first and think of what might be the best for it and not yourself.