why me why my life?

Question

hello i am a mother ofa 10 week and 3 day old son and i am abused by my husband it all started before we got married he get drunk and would tell me he use to beat his first and 2nd wife but i still married thanking it be diffrert for me but i was wrong, first it was yelling, then he would tell me he would hit me he would say stuff like i was lucky he not hit me because he could really hurt me then the grabbing started he would grab me by the arm so hard it would leaves marks he would pin me to the wall so i could not move and yellthen one day he got so drung and grabed my arm telling me he was going hit me and i told him i was not scared of him so he told me i batter be hecause he could kill me then he pushed me so hard a almost fall i finel thongh he calm down so i went to bed he would come in and yell call me names then he set on the bad and puch me so hard i fell of the bed, then i got pranget we got in to it he was so drunk he grab my arms and puch in to the door and for the first time i was scared i though he was going hit me and all i could thank of was not to let him so i slaped him because i though he would hit my tummy and make me lose my baby then the same nigh he trow rock at me and he would hold his fist up and tell me he wish i would lose the baby but he never did touch me because he had is drug buddy over he told my husband if he wanted any drug he would not touch me so he stoped he finel calm down, then when i was 4 months prangent we got in to it he wanted money for the drugs and i wouldnot give it to him so he hit me 2 times on the arm telling me next time it be my face the he grabed a baseball bat and told if i not give him the money he hit me with it so i gave him the money then he lift but he come back with the stuff and telling me h was sorry he hit me he was crying he said it never happen again and i told him i for give him i belive he would not do it again but i was wrong because when i was 6 months prangent we had no money and no food because he took all the money for the drugs and you can't get food without money. finely we got a call telling us we could move in with my family so we could get my husband clean the day befor the move he was getting high on that stuff his lighter was out so he was useing a candle and i not want him doing them drugs so i blow out the candle and he slaped me in the face and all i did was go to bed telling my self it all stop when we get to texas but i was wrong he started telling me who i can and cn't talk to where i can and can't go he had to know where i was at ever min even when i went to the bathroom he would give me money and i have to tell him how much i spent, where and what i got finely on march 31 2006 i had my son he was so sweet but that only was for 2 weeks then the yelling started back he would yell at me at welmart where people could hear he would call me names he would tell me woman know nothing and men knew it all then on june 3 2006 we went to eat he got drunk he went 6 monthsno dranking so when he got drunk he got mean and started yelling at me we was on the side of the road walking he would tell me i was a bad mother the he grabed me so hard i though he pull my clothes off he let go of me we got behind this church and for some reason i can't remember why set down on the ground by then the yelling got worse my son started crying soi was feeding him but he was still in his stroller my husband we tell me he would not hit me he say he could go to jail if he did then he hit me so hard on the arm it turn purple it as the first time ever he lift a mark and again he told me he hit my face next time and i told himi was not scared so he started comeing to me with his fist up telling me i batter be scared. then he put his hands in my face i was so scared he would hit me again i could not look at him he then knid of man if you don't look it makes him worse finel he calm down, the 5 days ago i not fold up the baby diaper up so he slaped me . i always though it was from dranking and the drugs that maid him mean they was a part of it but then one day we got in to over the drugs it would be part of it, then i found out he don't have to be drunk to treat me bad because for a long time i did not see that he was treating me bad now i just hopping he will change because i don't want to leave him i love him but i want him to treat me right he a good father and sometimes he a good man just wish it was all the time

Answer 1

All I can say is if he told you he beat his previous and you still married him then thats where you made the mistake. Have you ever left him before? for more than 1 day? My husband used to put his hands on me (not very bad tho) and I left him and got my own place for over a month. He promised me he would never lay his hands on me again and he hasnt. Its been over 6 years now. Im not saying that it will work for you because your husband sounds like hes too far gone but if nothing else, go to a battered womens shelter. Im sorry to say, the propability of your marriage working w/out him ever hitting you again is slim to none. But if you wish to leave him and give him a 2nd chance when he promises you he'll change then thats your choice but BE CAREFUL and just for your sake, look up the stats for battered women who are killed by an abusive husband. I would get out w/out him knowing and go far away and don't tell him where you are. Also, next time he leaves marks, take pictures, you'll need them for court when you 2 fight for custody. Please, take my advice... Ive been there, and my sister has too so I know 1st hand of what your going thru and it needs to stop. But I promise you--- if you give him a 2nd chance and things dont change, DONT GIVE HIM A 3rd. because your son will grow up and think thats how to treat a woman.

Answer 2

You are selfish. Yes I said you are selfish. How dare you live in a life and relationship like this. Do you have any concept of what this is going to do to your child? How can you be sooooo stupid? My mother stuck around with my dad and did the same thing. I have emotional scars that will never go away. I remember every beating from the time I could start remembering. It kills me to remember it. I am defensive and paranoid and my doctor tells me that it is a direct result from always living scared of my father. Forget about your GRAND LOVE for this piece of s^%t and start doing what GOD has put you on this earth to do for that little baby, Be A Good Mother!! GET OUT!! Your child depends on you to make good decisions for him. He will not be ok if you continue to stay in this disaster of a union. The guy is not going to change, my dad is the same way. Believe me there is something fundamentally wrong with your @$$ hole of a husband. He will kill you if your lucky or not you will just end up with beatings your whole life through and constantly scared and worried about what he will be like tonight when he walks through that door. Oh, and anything your feeling , your child is also feeling.
So , again I ask why are you being so selfish. LEAVE

Answer 3

Wow, I couldn't read past the first sentence. Call your local domestic violence hotline RIGHT NOW, tell them, and then GO to the shelter they offer you and DON'T LOOK BACK. You probably don't think you deserve any better because that is what has been BEAT into you for a long time. So if you can't do it for yourself yet, do it for your child. Sooner or later wonderful people will help you get your self esteem and your life back and you and your child will flourish. Some day this will be all a painful memory, but you will be free and happy. God Bless You.

Answer 4

Oh Please don't be Stupid. Don't you realize this man doesn't know any thing about love . He is abuser all he know is how to beat on women and I am here to tell you that it will never change. You need to leave him and take your poor baby to some where where you will be safe . He is a danger to any woman and he needs to seek help . But I doubt that he will ever get help. I see this man ending up in prison one day for abuse. He will be little you and make you think that know one else will ever want you. Don't fall for his worthless stories. Get your self together and get a job and I am sure there is help out there for you with a baby.
You only think you need him . But stop and do your self a favor save your life and maybe the life of your baby . he sounds like a dangerous man. believe me it's not suppose to be like that. There are good men out there that are looking for a good woman and lots of men love children . and if you meet one that falls in love with you , he will love your baby too because the baby is part of you. Please save your self from all the pain and abuse

Answer 5

instead of u on the internet asking us to help u need to be lookingu domestic violence shelters in your state and calling the police all your doing is puttingu and the baby in danger if u continue to stay hes going to beat u to the point where your dead and hes in jail for life andyour child will have no parents wake up and leave hes no good u have family go to them and leave him alone get an order of protection from the courts call the domestic violence hotline look up the # in your state do it now dont wait u are not nobodies punching bag life is to short do it for your child

Answer 6

Take all those documented instances, and your child and go to the police RIGHT NOW. They can put you somewhere your husband CAN NOT find you and help you go through the process of getting you protection from him, a divorce from him, and getting you out on your own. He is not a good man, and won't become one. YOU NEED TO LEAVE BEFORE HE HURTS YOU OR YOUR CHILD MORE THAN HE ALREADY HAS.

Answer 7

Why you and your life?

Because you were delusional enough to believe that you were somehow more special than your a$$w!p3 husband's first 2 wives and married an admitted abuser.

Now it's time to pull you head out of your fifth point of contact and leave this douche bag RIGHT NOW!

Answer 8

you should leave pack up your things and the bubs and get out now because one day you might have the baby in your arms when he comes home in one of these moods, you and your bub should be your main priority after all you are responsible for the bub and domestic abuse if witnessed by children will scare them for life as some children become just like their parents so as bub gets older he/she may very well pick up some of his actions and think it is alright so get out for the safety of you and your bub and also your baby's future p.s I'm am sorry for you and your baby and i hope that what ever decisions you make it works out for yous and doesn't happen ever again

Answer 9

You need to GET OUT IMMEDIATELY!!! If he will beat you, he will beat your children. If you stay, you will teach your children that it is right for a man to treat a woman that way. You cannot change him. Lord knows, I tried myself and it will only get worse. Go to a shelter, a church, or the police and BEG for help. If you need more help you can e-mail me, but don't put your babies at risk for a man!!!!!

Answer 10

do you really want to raise your son in that kind of enviroment? your staying with your family in texas,if you were smart you would pack his bag up and kick him out!!how would you feel if he left his drugs laying on the table and your son swallowed them and died,or if he hit you so hard one day that you fell to the ground and hit your head and died(your son would be left motherl less and with a drug addict as a father! LOVELY USE YOUR HEAD