OK we've been married 21 years and I've wanted out for at least the last 10, probably more. He knows this, and he knows it's because I found him at his girlfriends at 3:00 in the morning, although he says they were just friends. That was about10 years or more ago. I have gotten over it in most ways but haven't been in love with him since. How do I tell him that it is over and I'm leaving? What do I say? I don't want to be mean, I just can't stay anymore. I've tried my best and now I'm through. But I can't seem to find the right way to say it to him, without being mean. Any helpful ideas? I'm serious, without being mean and hurtful. Is there a way?
2006-06-20 15:25:07 · 19 answers · asked by josie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Tell him bye and walk out now
2006-06-20 15:27:50 · answer #1 · answered by wilburcornish 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him exactly what you just told us. "Ever since that 3 a.m. escapade when I found you at your girlfriends house, I have not loved you. I just can't stay in a relationship with no love, Im sorry but you brought this upon yourself. I wasn't enough for you so you had a thing on the side and made me fall out of love." You are a really strong woman for wanting to be nice about it and STAYING FOR 10 YEARS! Omg..I would have been gone that same day that I caught him messing around. You go girl, don't let him walk all over you. GOOD LUCK!
2006-06-20 22:35:15 · answer #2 · answered by Isabella's Mommy Expecting #2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, you must be a good woman if you stayed with him that long... I'm sorry to hear that you have to go through this... to me if you and him have been together for twenty one years then there must be some way to stick in there alittle longer... you said you got over the situation with the female so whats the problem now.... no man or woman these days are perfect but to spend 21 years with one person is like a life time for some.... be thankful you had a relationship that long.... I'm not saying settle for anything or to be unhappy but think about the good and I'm pretty sure it out weighs the bad... a good man is hard to find.... if you leave who's to say you won't meet someone worst off than what you are dealing with now...
2006-06-20 22:31:51 · answer #3 · answered by slimchuckie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to be honest and just tell him , He knows it already I'm sure. If the passion and love stopped many years ago and he has a girl friend . Then all your doing is wasting your life away . Find some one that will love you and be faithful to you. I think you deserve better . Life is too short as it is not to be happy . Get out and enjoy life a little . It can be better than you ever dreamed .
2006-06-20 22:33:17 · answer #4 · answered by jaz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No matter how you say it, it's still painful for him...
there is no easy way out especially if he loves you so much..
but don't be too hard on yourself, if you'll stay you'' be unfair to yourself and to him because you're not honest. Living with someone you no longer love is same as living in hell...
free yourself and be ready for whatever it takes...
explain to him the situation and tell him what you really feel.
if you can't be a wife then be a friend if that's all you can give.
2006-06-20 22:32:24 · answer #5 · answered by AnGeL Mona 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest, tell him that what he did then hurt you so deeply that you have not been able to allow yourself to love him in over 10 years and that you can't do this to either one of you any longer. whatever you end up doing make sure NOT to apologize for the way he made you feel.
2006-06-20 22:33:54 · answer #6 · answered by Dymara 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to sit down and talk to him. Explain to him that you don't feel the same about him as you did at the begining of your relationship. See what he says, then based on his answer, you can just tell him that you want a divorce, or that you need to try to patch thing up between eachother.
You have to let him know that problem first. If he doesn't know, then he wont know that anything is botherng you and will never try to fix it.
2006-06-20 22:30:41 · answer #7 · answered by dis_smirf 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be honest with him. Tell him that you are leaving and that you are doing something that you feel you need to do in order for you to have a happy and productive life. Let him know that you are no longer in love with him and that with all your marriage has endured you just can't stay anymore.
2006-06-20 22:28:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell him that you know longer love him he may not think it because if you didn't you would have left a long time ago so if that doesn't work you would have to a divorce then he will know you are serious
2006-06-21 02:12:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a man I would like the simple and direct truth. He is the one who messed up and there is no way to tell him that won't hurt some if he loves you. But he will realize the truth and should be able to handle it.
2006-06-20 22:30:06 · answer #10 · answered by Robert L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to tell him the truth. He has to be told that you don't love him and are not happy. There is really no way to get around hurting him. It is gonna hurt no matter what you say or do.
2006-06-20 22:29:21 · answer #11 · answered by southernlisa37 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋