Been married since 99, 3 years before that were the best years a man could ever want. After gettin married my new wife starts running away, sometimes for a day or two and sometimes for weeks even one time for months. I've moved, I've tried accessing the help available from counsellors and doctors and pastors and from God. I've tried getting a divorce, along the way I discovered the first time she ran was at 19. Anyway back to what i was sayin, she would come back crying and pleading for me to give her another chance. And what would life be if people didnt get one? We try getting it together and it starts gettin really good again, and then out of the blue, for no apparent reason she takes off again. I know she must have her reasons but truly there are no signs before hand that would indicate anything to me. The most confusing thing is that she goes for up-to a year working hard at gettin her life back in order and does well, and I don't know what to do anymore ?
2006-06-20 13:31:56 · 22 answers · asked by the ant ! 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You have to now figure out if this is good for you. She apparently doesn't know what she wants. Either she's fearful of the life that could include being with the same person until death, or she can't handle being faithful. She's hurting you, but does she realize it? Have you ever just sat down with her to figure out what the deal is? I'm sorry to say that I think a divorce would be the best thing. She obviously has some issues, and no one can get through to her.
2006-06-20 13:36:41 · answer #1 · answered by ghostlysun 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think that you are not doing good and that all she is doing is hurting you. I don't think that anyone should go threw that. You gave her a 2 chance and more then that if you would take off so many times. You are a good man but you don't need that. I fell that you should let her good cause the only person out of this is getting hurt is you. She might have problems but if she is not going to get help then she might all ways be like this and I know that is has been a great marrage other then her taking off. but if you stop it now and move on you will problably will find someone else that you will be happy with and for many more years. I wish you all of luck and hopes that it workes out the best for you.
2006-06-20 20:49:22 · answer #2 · answered by cutie4172005 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does she have a drug problem or is she getting frisky and wanting the attention of other men? Either way, you need to let her know that you WILL NOT tolerate this anymore and she has to stop or it is over. You can not get on with your life if she just pops in and out whenever she wants. It sounds like to me that she has a drug problem or another man on the side or men. When she hits bottom from drugs or the other man get tired of her **** or she gets tired of his, she comes running back to the only place she feels is still there for her. If you take that away from her she might just realize she has messed up and get her stuff together. Either way, you need to put your foot down and don't let her come back. If you think she is serious about coming back, start out as friends again, but do not let her move back in. I know it is hard, she is your wife, but she is the one that left you.
2006-06-20 20:41:11 · answer #3 · answered by timntina_stchas 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe shes afraid of the responsibilty of being a wife when she runs where and who does she stay with i know it has to be hard but how many times are you going to play the game shes playing at some point in time u have to be happy i know the whole thing about better or for worst but sometimes u have to say leave well enough alone and walk away she doing it because she knows u will take her back u need to let her go find herself and if it is meant tobe than she'll come back and never leave again
2006-06-20 20:41:24 · answer #4 · answered by teresa d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, that is very very strange. Im sure there is something behind it, more to it you know. because I promise you that a normal girl knows what shes got and she has a great guy who is so nice and understanding as to want to keep working on a relationship even after problems like that she will be grateful...-hes a keeper. SOunds like she might have some psychological problems - perhaps in her past, which have nothing to do with you, probably her family or old relationships did something to her... not much You yourself can do, she needs to figure it out on her own and stop messing her life and those of people closest to her.
2006-06-21 12:17:40 · answer #5 · answered by Jackie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a doctor, but I think your wife probably has a behavior disorder. I'm sorry that she has made this a disorder that you have to deal with. If she won't get medical help, I'd advise you to move on and not leave a forwarding address. It doesn't help her and definitely doesn't help you to keep up this "marry-go-round" that you've been living. Seek the help of a mental health professional, your clergy, or a family member that loves you dearly. It won't be easy, but you deserve better.
2006-06-20 20:37:07 · answer #6 · answered by Chainsawmom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as though she might be afraid of letting herself be happy or she might even have commitment issues.
I don't know her, however I guess you should know whether or not there may be an event (this event can pretty much be just about anything) in her past that is just simply disallowing her to believe that she deserves to be happy.
I think she along with yourself should seek professional help (you simply for the moral support). This will eventually enable her to confront her issues and learn to deal with them in more suitable manner.
2006-06-20 20:46:49 · answer #7 · answered by PROMISCUOUS SEDUCTION 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's either scared of long-term commitment, or she's having an affair. Either way, you both need counselling and you have to find out exactly why your wife keeps running away. If she keeps stringing you along, you can tell her enough is enough and she either has to straighten out or it's time for a divorce.
2006-06-20 20:35:52 · answer #8 · answered by Blue Jean 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave her and when she comes back next time tell he no that you have moved on and you cant have a life like that. and if she wants to be with you there wont be any running off and if she does it is completely done no coming back. She knows she can run to you when she wants you and you allow yourself to be hurt like that and I think you should just ruff it and try one more time and if it happens again move on or you just allowing yourself for pain.
2006-06-20 20:39:54 · answer #9 · answered by veigagirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she feels she doesn't deserve to be happy. You really need to get her to open up and talk to you about what is bothering her and why she runs away. Only she can answer these questions. Tell her you want to help and that you love her and want to understand what it is that is troubling her. It's the only way you will ever know but you have to get her to tell you first.
2006-06-20 20:38:09 · answer #10 · answered by lostinlove 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋