I am currently 6 months pregnant with my boyfriends baby...and he told me when i was 4 months that he hated me cuz i was ruining his life....i just brushed it off but now that its getting closer to my due date its starting to bug me...im afraid he'll hate his child...we are still together...i just dont know what to do...anyone have advice?? or has anyone been through this kind of situation before??
2006-06-20 13:01:53 · 40 answers · asked by kimmie 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Im 18 and hes 22...we didnt plan on having a baby and we used protection...i dont look at it as a mistake... i think all babies are miracles...and i refused to have an abortion...im not a murderer and adoption isnt for me
2006-06-20 13:14:35 · update #1
my boyfriend and I have been together for a year...i really hope that he changes his point of view once the baby is born...i dont want to break up w/him and not give my baby a chance to know his real father...i just dunno what to do
2006-06-20 13:19:14 · update #2
i dont appreciate people putting me down, all i need is advice if you are going to be negative towards me and tell me my opion on abortions and things are ignorant dont bother commenting, thanks...i need advice...not more things to make me feel worse
2006-06-20 13:23:52 · update #3
I AM KEEPING MY BABY...i dont want anyone to tell me their sad story about them not being able to have kids...im sorry...i stated that i want to keep my baby...i have the means to support it...and would never condiser abortion or adoption....if you want a baby go to an adoption center...and try to get one their...sorry to be rude...but maybe if you read right youd understand that im keeping my baby...
2006-06-21 12:04:12 · update #4
WOW you have gotten quite the response on this guestion and everyone is saying pretty much something different.
First off, your boyfriend knew there was a chance of you getting pregnant when he had sex with you protection or not. He is being completely selfish to say you are ruining his life he should of thought about it before he let his penis out of his pants.
You are awesome for not wanting to have an abortion and adoption really isn't for everyone.
You do have options here. You don't have to stay in this realtionship like some other people have said. There is a chance that he will not feel love for this baby and why would you want to expose your child to that? Sometimes the child is better off with just the one parent. I know you said you don't want to break up with him for fear of not letting the child know it's father but it wouldn't be fair for the baby to know him and know that he never wanted he/she to be born. A loveless realtionship is just as painful on a child as it is on you and eventually, if he doesn't accept the baby, you will hate him too. The only thing to ensure a happy baby is happy parents. Don't stay with him for the wrong reasons. even though it feels like the right thing now, it will just cause more harm later on down the road.
Good luck.
2006-06-20 14:27:23 · answer #1 · answered by ashez 4 · 12⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately I don't know what you are going through when I got pregnant with my first son my husband then my fiance was excited. Have you told your boyfriend how you feel. Unfortunately if he is upset now he will be really upset when he has to wake up at 2:00 in the morning and when you aren't giving him as much attention because you are exhausted from taking care of the baby. You really need to tell him how you feel and find out exactly how he feels because having a baby is the biggest change you will have in your life. And unfortunately you will not find that out until you have the baby here. Now is the time when you will have to become a team because he can leave you whenever he wants but you are always going to have a baby to take care of. And you really don't need the stress of being a single mother.
Don't listen to the people that say you should of gotten an abortion or put the baby up for adoption etc. You realized you made a mistake and are taking responsibility for your actions you should be proud not ashamed. I hope this helps if not I'm sorry. I hope everything goes well for you.
God Bless
2006-06-20 13:55:13 · answer #2 · answered by none 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow - people like you actually exist - that's frightening. Maybe you should think about the type of men you bed before you get yourself into such a situation. Your views on abortion are also very ignorant. I highly suggest you seek counseling.
-Scorpiatch
Um, I think that you are the ignorant one. First of all, she didn't get pregnant on purpose. She stated that she was using protection. It could have happened to anybody. And there is nothing wrong with choosing not to have an abortion. I personally would not have an abortion, because as it was said, children are a gift from God, and with all the couples in the world that want babies and aren't able to have them, I would never terminate a life because I had an unplanned pregnancy. I also find it funny that you would comment the way that you did when you are pregnant yourself. Secondly, I'm sure she wouldn't have been in a relationship with this guy if she had known that he would be verbally and emotionally abusive to her.
In response to your question, I would definitely leave this guy. You don't need to stay with him in order for him to have a relationship with his child. Staying with him is just going to make things worse for you, because not only will you have the stress of being a new mother on your hands, but you'll have to deal with all his crap, too. Why put yourself through that. I would just tell him that you've made the decision to keep the child and there is nothing that will change that. I would also let other people that you trust know the way that he feels about this child, just in case anything happens. Once you've done that, try sitting down with him and a mediator (a person that is impartial to the two of you) and discuss what you want to do as far as visitations, etc. If he refuses to help out with the child, file for child support. You'll also want to file for sole custody so that he will not use the child as a pawn against you, because he seems like the kind of person that would do that. Check with your local social services for programs for single parents. Just prepare yourself for raising the child on your own, because it sounds like you might actually have to do that. I wish you the best of luck!
2006-06-20 13:39:43 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing i can say is that staying together JUST for the child is wrong. If things dotn work out for teh two of u then im very sorry but u cant hoild the kid against that. I would definently hope he would think different because it will be hard to raise a baby by yourself at the age of 18. It wont be easy. Best Regards. I hope things can work out...... U 2 still have a little time to try and work it out. If he hasnt left u yet over the whole deal, then he must care because otherwise i would think he would be gone, and left when he first found out. Best of Luck...
2006-06-20 14:15:09 · answer #4 · answered by harleychick_md 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long have you been with this guy? How old are you two? Have you guys talked about settling down before? When you have babies, you need to be willing to do anything for them at all costs. Most people at the ages between 20 and 30 who have avoided getting into a relationship that will progress into marriage for that very reason. They don't want that responsibility. I'm sure he doesn't actually HATE you. He's probably feeling pressured and stifled and confused. As soon as something as serious as "I hate you, you're ruining my life" came out of his mouth, you should have said "Excuse me?" and had a nice, thoughtful conversation with him. You need to know exactly where he stands in this life changing situation and you need to set boundaries on how far you'll let him affect you. If you find that he is not going to be the father or boyfriend that you had always wanted, then get out...it's not fair to him and it's not fair to you.
2006-06-20 13:13:48 · answer #5 · answered by AmyReahTabback 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is still with you it seems to me that he must still love you and want to be a part of you and your unborn child's life. But you should know that this stress he is putting on your body could cause you to lose the baby so you both may want to think about getting some counseling so that these problems can be dealt with in a productive way. You both need to communicate with each other about this problem, but due to your fragile condition I would think a counselor would probably be good in your situation simply to help keep things on track and the least stressful for you. Right now your first priority should be staying healthy for your baby--both physically and mentally. Let your boyfriend deal with his issues. More than likely he is just stressing out over an unplanned pregnancy and it is easier to be angry and blame you for something he wasn't ready for than for him to admit that he isn't ready for this. Give him time to think and prepare. This is a HUGE change in both of your lives and it will take time to absorb. Since he is not carrying the child he is not as connected with the baby as you are and this will change once you give birth.
2006-06-20 13:42:37 · answer #6 · answered by jrollo76 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't want every answer you read to sound like a broken record, but you really shouldn't be having sex this young. Not because you've just started going through puberty, or because you're still a child... but because there's no way that you're mentally ready for that type of thing. And technically, no one is really "ready" until they've become emotionally connected to another human being, which might be possible at your age. Maybe. But the way you've spoken about this other girl you've had sex with, I highly doubt that this is the case. It sounds to me like your friend was rather disturbed (or shocked) that you did this. I would be too, if it were me. It sounds like she has feelings for you, or had feelings for you. I wouldn't waste a good friendship (and possible relationship) with someone you're already close to, for some pre-teen that is putting out before she even gets to high school. Definitely not worth it.
2016-03-26 23:17:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
WHy did you ever sleep with that loser??? HE KNOCKED YOU UP, and hes says YOUR RUINING HIS LIFE??? What a dumbass! Dump him. Tell him he will receive papers in the mail shortly about child support - He needs to support the baby financially but it sounds like he isnt gonig to be a good father or want to be a father at all so free him of the burden, let him go out and live his stupid life of knocking up other girls, while you get 25% of his earnings every month! Tell him you are done with him and hes never gonna see that baby- then see if he changes his tune.... If not, GIVE HIM THE BOOT! you and your child Do not need any stress from him!
2006-06-20 13:14:10 · answer #8 · answered by ChrissyLicious 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In all seriousness...the important thing now is the child. You don't say how old you are, but you should create the best situation for your child as possible, enlisting your parents' help if necessary / possible. If you feel like your boyfriend is going to create a negative atmosphere around the child, you might be better off without him. Just make sure he's supporting the child. Consult a lawyer if necessary.
2006-06-20 13:08:10 · answer #9 · answered by evilim 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All I can say is: you'd better hope he isn't a Rae Carruth or Scott Peterson. Too many women have been murdered by husbands and boyfriends once the men found out they were pregnant (I saw this special about "murderous fathers" on A & E that scared the bejesus out of me). Be careful.
The lighter side of the coin is that you may end up raising that child alone. So be prepared for that to happen. Make sure you have money of your own and a supportive family to fall back on. Be strong.
2006-06-20 13:06:53 · answer #10 · answered by kcsilverlining77 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋