If you are a little shy, and in a new job, how do you get your co workers to accept you and treat you like one of them?
2006-06-20 12:55:36 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Read books that will help you as they helped me. One of them is by Dale Carengi:
How to WIN FRIENDS and Influence People. There are steps there but my advise is:
1. What is the most important thing they are interested in? Everyone is interested in themselves. So, as you sit, as about them, listen, and watch how they lap you up because you listened, and asked questions about them and not used, "I, or "Me," but asked "You, Your."
There is a thing called:
FORM
Ask about Where they are from, and Family.
Occuppation - what they like about it, how long they've been working here, whats the best thing about the job etc.
Recreation - What they do for fun, sports and hey, join them, get involved.
Message - by listening you'll hear if they want to be friends, they want to talk about themselves more, and what they're dreams are, vision and what they love doing.
So many books on this and I applied the knowledge It works! My home is full of such books now and helps a lot and I share my books with business people too or people who just want to be part of someone's life.
Edit - One more thing - Always smile, to talk about anyone in the place behind their backs. Don't get involved in gossip. It might backfire. But always smile. There's a Universe in a smile.
Hope that helped. Go for it!
2006-06-20 13:02:57 · answer #1 · answered by Adam Taha 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The best way is to be a really cool (good), charming person. If someone gets jealous, be cool and make friends with that person. Remember, learn from good people. You don't have to tell everything that goes on in your life. Listen more and talk less. Never give advice that you will regret later. Say how you would have solved a problem, but don't tell them it's this way or that. Ignore gossip, it brings lots of problems. Always do your job first and help when you can, without jeopardizing your job. Keep cool and be yourself in a nice way!
2006-06-20 20:08:39 · answer #2 · answered by ricardocoav 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are new in the job, just give a little of time to make good friends. Soon your co workers will accept you. Good luck!
2006-06-20 20:01:35 · answer #3 · answered by bunny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it's hard especially when you're shy, I've the same problem.
Usually I try to join them for lunch breaks and the occasional chatter just to be in their clique or whatever because unfortunately people often judge on first impressions (I'm guilty of it as well) & misconstrue your shyness as arrogance.
You could try by doing small gestures like doing favors (but within reason, lol) help to fax/ put away documents, etc. Getting them coffee/ muffin for breakfast on occasion, be cautious not to make it a habit, though.
Just be yourself, adopt a warmer personality & blend in.
2006-06-20 23:35:34 · answer #4 · answered by ViRg() 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Treat each encounter with your co workers as important relationship-building meeting. Give them your best attention.
Be effective at your job.
2006-06-20 20:01:00 · answer #5 · answered by r 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be yourself. If people know that you are being real they will eventually accept you. It takes time to get to know people. Some you might not want to accept. Don't sell out.
2006-06-20 21:42:56 · answer #6 · answered by mistyd2005 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best way is to accept them. They take your shyness as you not liking them, or in someway feeling that you are better than they are. Unfortunately, you are going to have to break out of your shell, and make them feel comfortable with you, by being comfortable with them. People are easy to get along with, it is all perception.
2006-06-20 20:00:29 · answer #7 · answered by asmul8ed 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't.
You can only learn not to fear yourself, which you may fear for a whole lifetime till death parts us, and then go on with that: it's all that is truly needed, and then it doesn't matter who accepts and who doesn't. Once you're faithful to your mission, to your vocation, you must be able to brave for it everything, particularly the lack of acceptance by persons who don't even know themselves; imagine if they can know YOU.
2006-06-20 19:58:51 · answer #8 · answered by Alberto . 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can not make people except you. be your self and they will come to know the person and then you will be accepted. but it takes time so don't be in a big hurry. find one or two people to talk with and you will finally get to know them all.
2006-06-20 20:09:19 · answer #9 · answered by liza 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe hang out at lunch breaks.. talk about experiences you might have in common.. Help them maybe?
It takes time but in the mean time just build friendships.. you''ll be happier n they''ll accept u faster..
2006-06-20 20:01:42 · answer #10 · answered by Sugababy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋