How do I not take criticism so personal?

Question

I want to be more of a people person in the profession that i do-i am a chef. I am not mean or yell or anything-I just get pissed off when I am criticised. Most chef's are known for having people skill problems. why is that? i hate when i am criticized...seems like that happens a lot in my profession. I have been told that I tend to be rude or frank with people... I dont take it well, it upsets me. i guess becuase i give it my all in all... and i take it too serious. I consider myself a nice person, but I am staring to find out that others dont view me that way. How do ya lighten up and just enjoy it? how do ya not take criticism personal-it really bugs the crap outta me.

Answer 1

i personally believe it starts with learned behavior. at some point, whether young or not, the brain has taught itself to react a certain way when being criticized. the easiest way to break a bad habit is to replace it with a good one. easier said than done, one must decide to make this important enough to learn a new approach on a daily basis. it doesn't matter if at work, home or otherwise.
remember too that most people or the majority of people do not take criticism well in general - it's natural to react defensively if one is attacked/criticized.
also, there are lots of reasons people are critical of others such as it makes them feel better to do so, or b/c they are unhappy and insecure about their own personality. being a chef is difficult to say the least and the kitchen is pressure packed at any given time and is a good place for comments to fly about regularly.
1)keep perspective of situation
2)take inventory of your weaknesses so you know them better than anyone else
3)don't take **** from no one you don't care about
4)when someone says something or pushes your button, pause for an extra few seconds before dignifying it with a response if it all.
5)pay more attention to what specifically gets under you skin - is it a certain person(s), or only during rush hour for example
6)if all else fails, consider seeing a therapist to further explore why it's so difficult to accept criticism and then learn from that experience
7)constructive criticism is way different than destructive or unwarranted judgemental opinions, remember that
8)one can do whatever they set their mind on, over time

good luck - i know you can do it!

Answer 2

I know what you mean.

Accept that what you do and how you cook or run a kitchen is your style and if they don't like that's good too, because in your heart you know you will not please everyone but the majority will love what you do and that is your target.
I build cabinets and I know the people that buy from me like it, and the ones that don't criticize me, until I challenge them to build a set. I'm not the best but I know I'm good

Its hard because I hate criticism, from people that think they can intimidate you and sometimes they do, I hate it because I'm a nice person, firm but nice
Hope that helps some what

Answer 3

I guess you have to separate yourself from your job. If they say they don't like the food or whatever, that's not the same as saying they don't like you (although it feels like that because cooking is a creative process). Try not to come across as though your way is the only way--there are lots of styles of cooking etc and other people will have creative ideas too. That will prob help the way people perceive you. Nothing wrong with having confidence in your cooking though.

Answer 4

If so many people have told you that, then maybe you should, "Hey, they might be right." They have evn gone so far to tell you this. You should seek advice on how to be nicer. Other criticism just shrug off and ignore. Forget about it. One person does not matter. Me and my friends don't care what people think about us. We actually enjoy it when people look at us like we belong in a mental hospital. i suggest you do something similar.

Answer 5

chef here-have to learn to not take it personally-you cant please everyone and some people just like to complain-also must tell the people you work with it is not personal-work on finding solution rather than the problem-i run a kitchen and this is a constant thing-right now my most experienced waitress have less than a year in the buisness and everything is personal to them have to remind and re-enforce that thought everyday-keep the peace old hippie here

Answer 6

It's hard not to specially when u try so hard, me personally depending on the situation i would tell them off . I used to threaten people , now i dont recommend that people do that, obiously not, but you know what, they thoght twice3 about critizing me again , thats 4 sure.

Answer 7

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Answer 8

It's kind of tough when someone says, "You suck big time!"

Are they besmirching you or are they offering constructive criticism? A lot depends on how it is presented.