I'm 23 yr and i have a 7 yr and a 1 yr old...I still married to there dad but we haven't been together since i was 4 months preg with my baby..Well i got a call from him lastnight and he told me that he want's to take the kids away from me so that they can go live with him and his new girlfriend witch i never meet and he never talks about with me..About two months ago he told me that he wanted to get back together and be a family..i know i'm so stupid for beliving him but how do you let go of the one person you ever loved..Even after they'ed hurt you all the time..I'm scared that my kids will grow up hateing me for not working it out with there day...Please Help..What are my legal right..??
2006-06-20 11:20:42 · 28 answers · asked by ?Whiskey Girl? 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
get a lawyer involved now, get off line and make some calls to a legal counsel..
2006-06-20 11:22:56 · answer #1 · answered by City slicker 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A father is a man who raises your children, not a sperm donor or an ATM. Let him go and keep the kids. He's not worth it. The 7 year old is getting old enough to understand and the 1 year old just knows he (or she) likes food and sleep. Make him pay a good amount of child support too. Depending on the state laws he could be committing adultery, shoot for that too. You will stand much taller on your own two feet without a dead weight loser pulling you down. He just wants the best of both worlds, two women to sleep with and one he doesn't have to worry about pregnancy because he calls it a family. Sweetie, its time to find yourself a real man. Somebody that will stand up for you as well as himself and what he believes in.
2006-06-20 18:29:25 · answer #2 · answered by Brian 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a very good case that you have been the primary care giver for almost two years. Not every relationship can be worked out and it is very sad. In time your children will mature enough to see that everybody that plans a life together will be able to do it successfully. The best thing you can do is try to get into a program that will allow you to get job training and plan a future and life for you and your children. That impresses any judge and you will soon need one and an attorney. Good luck!
2006-06-20 18:37:22 · answer #3 · answered by jodie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what, a guy like him can't be trusted ever. If he is hurting your feelings what's to say he will take care of the kids feelings? Also, let him have the kids, it will teach him responsibility...thus, allowing you to be yourself for a change and not a mom or wife. Maybe a Divorce might be helpful, because fact is a guy like him won't work it out with you and you need to tell your kids that its ok for parents not to get along, and that they are lucky that they have a mom and dad who care about them. Also, find a lawyer and talk to them to figure out what the legal issues are.
2006-06-20 18:28:22 · answer #4 · answered by monavyas15 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You got to look at whats the best thing for your kids and you.Alot of people stay in bad relationships because the kids.I think that's wrong, what you the mother in a bad relationship, what about the father in a bad relationship.Sure kids are loved by parents, but think about your life as well.You deserve happiness.He cant just come and get your kids.If you can talk to a attorney, there's alot out there who will give you a free consultation.The judge is any is going to look at your time with your children.You have more of the right to keep them, cause of you being with them more.I wish you luck and god bless.
2006-06-20 18:26:38 · answer #5 · answered by Male Sicilian Trauma Nurse 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your kids will resent you more for bringing him back into an abusive relationship. Giving the dad his visitation rights would be ideal though. They don't need to be confused and trapped in the middle of everything. Be adults and compromise something between you and him or do it through the courts. You can't love someone that abused you in any way. Let it go and do what's best for your kids. This isn't about you anymore. You lost that chance when you got pregnant. Face the consequences and do what is right!
2006-06-20 18:25:07 · answer #6 · answered by meghanw1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your hubby is like one of my ex's. First of all the kids will grow up regardless of what you do. Their expectation of you is just a little naive. If it is detrimental to the family stick to your guns and do what is best for you and the kids. My ex has custody of her two boys and you could not pay me enough money to live in the same house with her. The kids will get over whatever you decide and they will only hate you if you do something dumb. Trust me it is not going to change. Been there done that and all the lipservice in the world does not make it happen. proof is in the put up or shut up.
2006-06-20 18:27:44 · answer #7 · answered by andyman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you have a case worker at children's and family services? if you do i am sure that she will be more than happy to explain your rights to you. Children need their daddy unless he is an unfit father. If you love your husband tell him unless he just doesn't want to be with you. Why not talk to him and tell him exactly what you have told us here. Husbands and wives hurt each other all the time. You are right in that children are the real victims in a divorce. Oftentimes the couple are so caught up in hurt feelings and pain that they are not thinking clearly in regard to their childs welfare.
2006-06-20 20:43:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you two cannot work it out which i think you Will he hasn't decided what he wants to do yet you should definitely keep your kids he left the marriage not you why should they mad at did you cause the breakup don't lie to your kids if they ask tell them the truth and don't talk bad about him you still love and they have a Right to love him he made a bad choice he has to deal with if you let him back in do get back in the same routine and don't feel embarrassed lots of women take back their men
2006-06-20 18:27:57 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off...Im sure you are a great mother. I am pretty sure the children will understand their mom and dad did not work out. You have to explain to them that sometimes parents are better off apart. I liked the way my mom put it..."You get two of everything!" Which honestly was awsome. 2 christmas's, thanksgiving's....houses, clothes! Time heals all wounds.Trust me. Some man will sweep you off your feet and love you and your kids unconditionally.
2006-06-20 18:26:57 · answer #10 · answered by Poetic Jezebel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl let me tell you somthing this must be a h*ll of a man for you to still be married to him. It's called divorce. and besides you have nothing to worry about. Courts are sympathic to woman. He won't get them he should be happy if he gets visitation rights. So don't sweat it. But just in case get every thing staraight because if his smart he'll have child social workers to come by and see if the kids living arrangements are okay. Be smart don't let thta fool and that hussy take your babies.
2006-06-20 18:26:17 · answer #11 · answered by gemini_boo91 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋