My husband would rather be alone and watch porn sometimes than have sex with me. He says that is not true, but it is how it makes me feel sometimes. Sometimes i feel like he is trying to get me out of the house just so he can look up porn. When i catch him at it he lies about it. It makes me feel really insecure and obsessive sometimes.
2006-06-20 10:12:42 · 14 answers · asked by micah z 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, porn is titillating, fun and lacks the downsides of a real relationship. As with anything, too much is bad, but in moderation don't worry.
If you have concerns in your relationship, address them directly. Do you have enough sex? Does it bother you that he likes porn? Talk to him about your feelings.
It is unfortunate he lies about engaging in the activites you describe, but sometimes it is a guilty pleasure, so it is understandable. The best case scenario would be you are both honest about each other's feelings with each other and you either decide to change or deal or not deal with each others behaviors.
The more you discuss your honest feelings with him, if he accepts your feelings and shares with you, the less insecure you will feel. If not, at least you have uncovered an important issue that must be dealt with in order to restore more trust and closeness in your relationship.
2006-06-20 10:16:10 · answer #1 · answered by Ken C. 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have the same exact problem as you. I know he'd rather masturbate than have sex alot of times and it pisses me off. I once was in the room with him while he was on the internet playing his fifa, and the only reason he was doing this was to waste time so I would eventually go to bed. I went to bed knowing as soon a I got quiet down the hallway he would start watching porn and jerking. So I quietly crept down the hallway and opened the door on him and sure enough there he was, with his pants down around his ankles and going for it. I was so mad I called him a bastard and told him if that's what he wants instead of me then I guess I will have to find it somewhere else. Sounds extreme to most people but I was just trying to make him feel bad for making me feel like I'm his mom or something.
2006-06-20 11:11:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some of us females like porn, too. Some guys are just more avid about it or derive more pleasure from it than women do, I guess.
I don't think you should blame yourself for feeling 'obsessive' about his habit. Your husband is essentially admiring another female's nude body. There's a possibility that your husband feels insecure about himself, and looks at other women (who he does not know on a personal and loving level, like you) because there's no chance that he could disappoint or feel embarrassed with this nude model on the TV/computer screen.
However, he may not feel any insecurity at all in watching porn, but the fact that he is causing you distress with his habit and his lies about it is the real problem. Talk to him.
2006-06-20 10:27:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know what you mean about feeling insecure. my husband would probably lie about it to if he knew i felt this way but instead i just decided that i should just do it too. i think we are afraid of what we don't know. therefore i decided to know. it good stuff honey. no he doesn't want it more than he wants you. try it by yourself. go ahead. masturbate. then you'll see that you still want him just as bad. you might even get some new ideas. then watch it together. if you watch it by yourself first you won't be so weirded out by it as if you tried watching it together the first time you did. he will be turned on by the fact that you like it too. and even if you don't - fake it. it will help your sex life
2006-06-20 10:21:13 · answer #4 · answered by kirkskitti 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
non committed sexual gratification and release of tensions through self-gratification through masturbation and no performance issues that accompany sexual stimulation with a loved one, this has broken up a lot of marriages, because the other person is left without sexual tension release and the feelings of love between both parties involved in this one sided relationship!
2006-06-20 10:53:28 · answer #5 · answered by sorrells316 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.
2006-06-20 10:42:01 · answer #6 · answered by Virginia 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sexy young women having fantastic sex. Is it that hard to understand. It is normal, but not if it interfers with your personal life. If he can't learn to not hid it, and if you can't learn to enjoy it with him, then get some real counseling.
2006-06-20 10:23:58 · answer #7 · answered by javelin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He thinks it's wrong and is embarrassed to watch it with you.
Sounds like he's got some problems
2006-06-20 10:15:08 · answer #8 · answered by drsteve362005 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because sometimes we are just a bunch of selfish bastards we want to jerk off and cumm all over, with no foreplay or kisses or back rubs...
2006-06-20 10:52:05 · answer #9 · answered by texraider27 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it is just a promblem for young guys who like naked women that is porn
2006-06-20 10:17:24 · answer #10 · answered by piekingamerica 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋