am i wrong for not wanting to keep my baby?

Question

i already have one child and raising him all by myself. his father is married with another child i do not have a boy friend or any help other than my mom i feel that i can't do this by myself especially with two kids, there is no father for the second. a situation happened that was not voluntary but i'm going to carry full term but give the baby up for adoption. please help i need answers.

Answer 1

i can understand that you may not need or want another child right now. especially if it was due to a rape etc... you are not a bad person for not wanting the baby, and that isn't a problem, don't listen to anyone who says that you are wrong for not wanting the baby, they aren't you and in your situation. they might think different if it was really happening to them now, its easy to say that you would keep it if it isn't really happening to you! you have to think about the child , and giving it to a good home that will love it isn't a bad thing at all, in fact you will be doing a very good thing by giving it to a family that might not be able to have a child naturally. i would look at the positive and steer clear of any negative people saying its bad thing. good luck and bless you and your family!

Answer 2

You are in a terrible situation. Yes you realize that you cannot take care of two children, but, unless you have been adopted you will never understand the loss that your child will suffer. Yes the baby could get great parents but there is a bond that you and your baby carry that no one could ever fill. I suggest that if you totally feel that you need to put your child up for adoption then at least have an open adoption. That is where you know who adopted the baby and they send pics a few times a year. When the child is ready he/she can meet you.

Answer 3

I feel that this is a very emotional situation. I do not know how to say this, but I am one of the many people that cannot have children. I would love to be able to have one, either naturally or by adoption. I feel that you are more than a blessing for someone in the same situation that I am in. I also feel that if you know you can give your child a better home by putting it up for adoption, then you are a good mother. Giving your child up because you know that you cannot provide for it is not bad, you are trying to provide a better life for your child.

I am sorry for whatever has happened to you as far as the involuntary way you have ended up in this situation.

Hope this helps! These are just my thoughts and I hope this made sense.

Answer 4

Are you asking is it immoral to put your child up for adoption? Think about the reasons you want to put the child up for adoption. Is it because you can't afford it? Is it because the child came from an unfortunate situation? If you just don't want the child because they came from a bad situation and they have no father that could be classified as immoral. Its not the child's fault that it happend. If you just can't afford it and you want someone else to care for the child that can give them a better life then that is putting the child's interests first and therefore not immoral. Either way, I'm glad your willing to give the baby a chance in life and I wish you the best of luck with your decision.

Answer 5

I wouldn't say that your "wrong"...I mean at the end it is really your choice...we can all say yea you should keep your child and what not...but only you know the real situation. If you believe in your heart that this child would have a better life somewhere else, then do what you have to do. You already know the struggles of taking care of one child...and taking care of another is going to be twice as hard. So I personally am not saying it's right or wrong...just think about it seriously and do what's best for you and the child you already have. Good Luck!!

Answer 6

First of, you are doing your first child a great disservice and not providing for him like he should be provided for by not making his father shoulder some of the responsibility for his son. You need to go and sue for child support, you son would be able to get a lot of the things you are unable to afford because you are trying to make it on your own. It does not matter what the situation is, a baby's father or mother should if they are alive contribute to their support.
If you had this support you could afford to keep your new baby and would not have to give it up. Again same thing though, the circumstances that caused the pregnancy does not matter, he made a conscious decision to finish in you, weather you were on protection or not, it matters not, you need to get support from him too,
That's all I can say to you.

Answer 7

Most answers that we get from people have not experiened our situations,so therefor more than likely they are not aware of the outcome. I had a couple of abortions done when I was younger,( girlfriends)because I was afraid of kids cramping my style. But most of all because I did not have any money and didn't know how we would take care of it.So the easiest way out was to get rid of it.I say it because we did not know what they were. Until this day (30 years later) I still wonder what they would be,what they looked like, what they would be like,and still get tears in my eyes when I think about it. And you'll never forget because of questions you read likethis and other things that come up. I wish now that I could have found someone to raise it until I could take care of it. I didn't have that chance. But you do. If you are serious in what I have to tell you E-Mail me at dnnybartels@yahoo

Answer 8

Please don't do this! Your precious baby inside you deserves the right to have it's mommy as your other child does.Your other child deserves to have a sibling as well,but most important,this precious baby DIDN'T ASKED TO BE BROUGHT HERE!God Allowed you to have this baby,to raise and to love,which you can do,if you can give to one,you can give to another.This baby is part of you.I know you have to feel the baby move and kick inside you,that would be enough for me to fight harder in keeping my child,as far as no father,yes,there is a father,married or not,they have a responsibility in paying child support if they don't want to be part of this child's life,then that's their lost,but you can make it with 2 children,i know,because i was 15 years old with my first child,and by 18 years old i had another little boy and no fathers,no mother,i was told that i made my bed,now lie in it.By 20 years old i had a little girl.Today they are 28,25 and 23 years old.Don't never say you can't,you sound like you don't want to and trying to ease your own feelings of away out.I'm sorry if i sound so rude,i'm not trying to be,but i get upset when women lay down with no protection,then lay the responiblity in someone else's lap.All i am saying is where there is a WILL there is a WAY to keep your baby.Your right it isn't to be put off on your mother either.If you truly care and have a heart,no matter what the issue may be,i'm referring to the situation that happened,and i can about guess that,i am raising my daughter's 2 percious little boys now for the rest of my life,because they were taken away from her by childerns services just because she didn't want to keep a clean house and the sad part was they gave her 3 chances and that means 3 years to clean a house,it never happened and i am glad that these little kids had me to pick up the peices for them or they would of been in foster homes.It wasn't my dream to raise them,but it sure wasn't my dream to see them suffer for something they never asked for either.So you can make it,and you can do it,and you have to want to do it.The choice is yours,but you did ask for mine and other's advice concerning this issue.I hope your eyes open quickly and things work out for you.Best wishes to you and your children!

Answer 9

That's hard, but it's really up to you. It's a matter of personal opinion and no one can make that choice for you. It's hard having a kid, and it can be really hard giving them up as well. My best friend had a baby and gave him up for adoption. And even though it was an open adoption where she can see him at least once a month, she doesn't because it's too hard for her. I would suggest birth control in the future though. there are lots of ways to get it for free and then you wouldn't have to make that decision again untill you were ready. in the mean time, you also need to think of what's best for the baby. good luck.

Answer 10

I myself cannot handle kids and I would put my baby up for adoption just for that reason. In your case I think you would be making the right decision. If you know that that baby could have a better life in someone else's hands then go for it. But later down the road you will probably feel some regret about it. But you will survive and you will go one as life does. Just choose what you think would be the best decision for your baby and you.