I hate strip clubs. That has been out in the open from the beginning. My husband and I did not have traditional bachelor/bachelorette parties...the guys played paintball, the girls went out to dinner and we all got together at the end of the night for a big bonfire party. That was perfect for me. 2 months ago, my husband went to a strip club for his friend's bachelor party. I hated every minute of it and we fought for weeks about it. The guys "promised each other that they wouldn't tell what happened there." Its not that I don't trust him...I just truly hate strip clubs and everything they stand for. I don't know how to get over it...I know that my protesting just makes things worse between us. Apparently the guys had "so much fun" last time that they are planning to go next month...What do I do? I just can't get past this!
2006-06-20 08:53:38 · 37 answers · asked by SweetPea 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't want to sound like a witch so let me add this: My husband and I have only been married since September and due to his new job, we only see each other 2 weekends each month. This has been since January. Also, the strip club near our town has a shady reputation. I know he doesn't touch, I trust him completely, I just don't feel that it is right for some girl to come stick her leg up on his shoulder and stick her crotch inches from his face. I can't say I am real comfortable with the nude girls giving my hubby a shoulder massage either!
2006-06-20 09:12:23 · update #1
i would hate it too i think that its just encourageing something bad to actaully happen- my hubby has people he works with who cheat and go to strip clubs and i know my hubbys gone with them and i hate it.....tell him how you feel but make sure he knows if you catch him without him telling you it will not be ok----
2006-06-24 16:04:45 · answer #1 · answered by greeneyedmommy 3 · 7⤊ 1⤋
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2016-12-23 01:51:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes his description is right on. People SWEAR that men go to strip clubs for sex. The only men that do this are really disgusting men. And FYI, it is against policy for men to even touch strippers...even during lap dances. The most they can do is caress their arms, but anything below the belt or in the chest area is a big no-no. No, don't worry about these friends because chances are they think exactly the way your husband thinks. Men and women are different. When guys have a get together, they don't sit around at dinner chatting like women. They either go to a bar for some stupid sports event or they go to a strip club. Be grateful that your husband (much like my fiance) will not go out of respect for you.
2016-03-15 12:18:23 · answer #3 · answered by Michele 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am male and well I do not go to strip clubs, not that I have anything good or bad to say about them. I fail to see where your having a problem with your husband going. Seems like you do not trust him. You do not like them I get that but you were not invited. I realize he is your husband and what effects him effects you but you have to show trust unless of course you don't and that case the marriage is not a sound one. For someone to hate something so bad that it upsets them just the thought has to be a deeper problem. Either that or you really do not understand what a strip club is. Yes we all know that females get up and dance erotically and remove their clothing but most clubs like this are very restricted and touching the females except for tipping is forbidden. it is really nothing more than a show. I think you hating something purely out of not trusting your spouse and that's really kind of sad. Not I am not trying to talk you into changing your mind. I just want to give you a different way of looking at this.
2006-06-20 09:10:55 · answer #4 · answered by Savage 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a happily married man I can say that I haven't been to a strip club since I was married and have no intention of going.
If your husband went to one because it was a bachelor party and he didn't organize it, I would say that ONCE was ok in this instance. Going again though I don't think is necessary.
My wife has done strip tease dances for me before and will again.
All I have to do is ask her and we talk about it then set a "date" up together to do this. We still go out on dates together and enjoy ourselves. Talk to your husband but do it in a positive way. He can see how upset you are and this isn't helping matters.
I don't know that you will talk him out of it but see if he will at least agree to tell you what happened. Sometimes not knowing is the worst part. There is no easy answer for this but I wish you luck no matter what happens.
2006-06-20 09:10:38 · answer #5 · answered by Ekimo 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell your hubby how you feel. He needs to know that just because all the guys want to go to strip club doesn't mean he has to go along with them. A married man shouldn't be going to a strip club with or without the guys - he should be respecting his wife and his marriage. I don't think you can respect your wife and your marriage while a half or fully naked woman is giving you a lapdance.
You do need to stop nagging - because it will make things worse. Sit down and talk to him about how you feel and ask him why he likes going. You need to explain to him how it disrespects you and your marriage.
You can't stop him from going, and you telling him how you feel might not keep him from going. He may feel if he doesn't go out with the guys that he will be left out - adult peer pressure. Try to be loving and supportive, but don't keep your feelings bottled up - express them in a healthy way. If this keeps up then try to get into counseling.
2006-06-20 09:06:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok, this is the deal, it does not matter that YOU don't like Strip Clubs, cause that does not govern what someone else likes, truth be told. A married man is no different from any other man, and should be allowed to go wherever he wants to go, since you are suppose to trust him right? He won't do what is not in his heart to do, so I would not let it bother you to much sweetie. It's probably some things that you like to do that he hates equally, but because he loves you, he puts up with it. So think about it the next time you want to complain about something so small as a strip club.
2006-06-20 09:10:05 · answer #7 · answered by stephna23_rican 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
I have been married and divorced, and about to get married again in August. My first relationship fell apart because my ex husband was a cheater and never went to strip clubs. My future husband likes to go occassionaly, so I decided to go with him, and I actually enjoyed watching the guys in the club. I even acted like one of the guys, gave tips, acted excited, made comments about how beautiful some of the girls were, I even went so far as to get a lap dance, he was actually jealous. I learned that jealousy is a sign of mis trust, so I don't allow myself to get jealous. Now he won't even go without me, he won't go because he is afraid that I will go without him. Men want to do what they are told they can't. Don't get me wrong, I don't want him touching other women, but most reputable strip clubs, there is no touching allowed. He has been invited twice now to go, and he won't go without me, and I don't care if he does. As far as what they stand for, everyone has the right to earn an honest living and if they are not breaking the law, then they have the right to entertain.
Offer to go along, get the other wifes/girlfriends to go, enjoy yourself, sit up at the table, give tips, act like one of the guys, trust me, your husband will get jealous, he might not say anything while you are there, but he will when you get home. Use the "if you can, I can", he'll quit going.
2006-06-20 11:29:46 · answer #8 · answered by laurieem69 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
How is viewing a naked woman and having her touch you not a sexual action? My husband goes over my objections. He took me when I kept asking him what attracted him to places like that when he won't let me do a strip dance for him. I still didn't get my answer, though he said something about it being relaxing I would think just the oposite especially when he comes home horny. Whether you trust him or not is not the issue - its the woman who strip for money that I don't trust. Plus if alcohol and machoism is involved people don't always act like themselves. Is there another place they can go for a guy's night out? Or at least forgo the secrecy? My friends all know anything they say to me in confidence will be repeated to my husband, as I consider him a part of me. They also know that neither of us will repeat it to anyone else.
Okay, a bachelor party for a close friend is unavoidable without offending the friend. Other than that he should be more worried about offending you than the guys who will go without him. As far as not being a *****, anytime a woman requests a man do or not do something for them no matter how nice we are about it they make us out to be bitches. However, I don't think it is your bitching that is making things worse between you, it is his disrespect. Fighting over the past is not going to change it. I know it is hard to forget, but I would be more worried about the present and the future.
2006-06-20 09:30:18 · answer #9 · answered by Jill M 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
bachelor party?? No big deal. And the "promised each other that they wouldn't tell what happened there." is normal... and yes some things may have been pretty bad. You don't want to know.
Every month or so? Big waste of your combined income. And a big deal. A guy who has to spend his entertainment budget on naked girls can be a huge liability.
I understand why you hate the whole strip club thing. But maybe you shouldn't have fought so hard about it about the the bachelor party... cuz what are you going to do now that he wants to go for no reason other than for his own pleasure? (Because that's what it is.) You're going to fight harder...
Unfortunately, you can't control him. You can tell him how it hurts, how disrespectful it is to you, his wife, but only he can make the decision of what to do.
2006-06-20 09:15:23 · answer #10 · answered by ATerribleIdea 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
in my opinion as a married woman i agree with you, i don't like the idea of my husband visiting them eaither and thats why he respects my wishes and does not. my husband is very happy with the decision, if he wants to look at other women other then me then he can watch an adult movie from the comfort of his own home, it's something we share together. as for the strip clubs, i am not attracted to females therefore i would not enjoy going to one. my husband and i agreed that if it's something we cant share and enjoy together then its not worth doing. at a club the women are real, in the flesh, rubbing all over men that pay for lap dances. i don't want any other woman touching my husband while naked or half naked, that's wrong. if your husband can't understand and take your feelings into consideration he is an insensitive jerk. we too did not have the traditional bachelor/bachelorette parties and we don't regret a thing. looking at other people is to be expected considering everyone is attracted to more then one person, its human nature, but to have a woman up close and personal, half naked, in my husbands face, and then to have him come home all horny over another woman? Definately not a turn on for me.
2006-06-20 09:10:35 · answer #11 · answered by LawlietLover 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋