Any self-esteem tips?

Question

I've had kind of low self-esteem since I was little, I'm shy around people & care too much what other people think of me. Any helpful tips???

Answer 1

Look up at the sky and smile

Answer 2

1.Think back to when you did something new for the first time. Learning something new is often accompanied by feelings of nervousness, lack of self belief and high stress levels, all of which are necessary parts of the learning process. The next time you feel under-confident, remembering this will remind you that it's perfectly normal - you're just learning! 2. Do something you have been putting off. 3. Do something you are good at. And while you're at it, seriously consider doing something like this at least once a week. People who experience 'flow' regularly seem to be happier and healthier. 4. Stop thinking about yourself! Doing something that absorbs you and holds your attention can quickly make you feel better. 5. Get seriously relaxed. If you are feeling low, anxious or lacking in confidence, the first thing to do is to stop thinking and relax properly. Some people do this by exercising, others by involving themselves in something 6. Remember all the things you have achieved. This can be difficult at first, but after a while, you'll develop a handy mental list of self-esteem boosting memories. And if you're thinking "But I've never achieved anything",think about exams passed, driving test, family, or 'doing up' your house. Once you have tried out a few of these, consider making them a permanent part of your life. For most people, good self esteem is not just a happy accident, it's a result of the way they think and the things they do from day to day. Good Luck! ;-)

Answer 3

An explanation of the phenomenon may help. Like aggression, shyness is an instinctual holdover from our hunter-gatherer days. Back then you stayed within the same clan of about 20-30 people for life, and banishment usually meant death, since other clans would be unlikely to take in a stranger, so your life depended on insuring that others thought well of you. Being shy around new people made sense as well, since strangers from other clans were usually rivals and potentially enemies.

Nowadays this doesn't make sense. Let's say you try to talk to somebody new and say something totally stupid. Guess what? There are a million more people out there, which means a million more chances to get it right. I guarantee you it won't take a million tries. Plus, here's the other thing. Even if you do say something totally stupid, you end up laughing about it anyway. Treat shyness the same way you would treat the urge to punch somebody in the face or have sex with someone inappropriate, like your sibling's spouse, as one of those urges that are no longer suitable to a modern lifestyle.

In addition here are a few ways of looking at it:

1. What other people think of you, good or bad, has no effect on who you are and is none of your business anyway.

2. You are the frame of reference by which you judge yourself, don't look for cues from other people on how to act. If they have a problem with it, they're the ones who are wierd, not you.

3. Aren't you tired of restraining and censoring yourself because of what other people might think? Screw them. Say what you want. Do what you want. Do who you want.

4. A good way to gain self-esteem is to take the things that you are really good at and do them in front of people who aren't as good at them. Whether it's playing sports, musical instruments, whatever it is, be excellent in front of people and they will be drawn to you.

Finally, this is kind of cheesy, but it works. Every time you go to the bathroom, look at yourself in the mirror and say out loud "Oh my God, you rock so hard!" Say it out loud and mean it until you believe it. Cause guess what honey, it's probably true.

Answer 4

Self-esteem is quite a train ride. There are many factors that can play in to your self-esteem. Or I must say that is what many want you to believe. You can't get self-esteem from a book or a magazine. You can't feel better about yourself by who you hang out with. The only way to get feel better about who you are is to look at how you feel when you are alone. What are you thinking about during you alone time or even you depressive time? Are you feeling like you are showing yourself appreciation. So many people think that esteem is found in boy/girlfriends, sex, drugs, and other SELFISH desires. The best way to build self-esteem is to stop thinking about yourself and just start DOING (clean terms) for others. Once you lose yourself in helping others you begin to find who you are and what you can become.

Answer 5

Try being yourself and look at what may be a flaw to you is desired by some one else. If you cared about everyone opinion then there is no room for you to care about your own. Life is too short to waste time worrying about if you are Good enough, cute enough or rich enough. Take advantage of life b/c we are all equal in the eyes of Christ!Most people that judge , do this to boost their self esteem, b/c you have something that they don't, they are jealous, so they put you down so you feel as if you aren't good enough. They are intimidated and insecure.

Answer 6

Yep. People tell you to follow your heart. Those people are followers. Lead your heart. Decide how you want to feel, and then do something that makes you feel that way. Personally, my favorite way to raise self-esteem is to wear a silly hat for a day. When people laugh at it I smile, because I know the hat is silly; that's why I wore it. It's a non-dangerous way to do something that can feel a little dangerous (deciding to be different). At the same time, many people respect someone who isn't afraid to wear a silly hat. That's mine, you don't really have to wear a hat, but find something that's just a little different about you, and be proud of it. That's what makes you special.

Answer 7

Here's a few that helped me after I escaped an abusive marriage.

(1) FAKE IT...totally pretend that you're this confident Diva, after a while - it'll get easier & someday you WILL be that confident diva

(2) Get you a JOURNAL - everyday at the end of the day write at least one positive thing down about yourself. It can be something simple like I had a good hair day, to something deep.

(3) Realize that only YOU can make yourself happy. Others can ADD to that happiness but you've got to do it yourself.

(4) Realize that are beautiful & special & a wonderful woman and that nobody can take that away from you..

{{ HUGS }}, Marilyn

Answer 8

Hi, My name is Lia. I had your problem when i was a little younger I'm 22 now and used to think that everyone was always looking at me and talking about me because of how i looked or how i thought i looked. but as i got older i realized that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. and the lower your self esteem is the more people WILL take advantage of you. it all boils down to YOU! its all in your head

Answer 9

i know exactly what you are talking about and going through. iwent through the same thing the whole entire beginning of the year. i sometimes felt so hopeless that i wanted to end it all. luckily i didn't. i had some good days and some bad. looking back at it all, i realize that i had really great friends that i admired and aspired to be like alnong with me. i had some friends that just put me down even for the joke of it. they didnt mean to make me feel bad but they still did. i was so shy, like it seems like you are, and i didnt have the guts to tell them to either shut up or be more positive. but what i found that helped a lot is that i stepped out of my comfort zone and said hi to some of the outgoing and nice people i knew and looked up to. when they said hi back, it like totally made my day. as for the caring about what people think of you, i had that problem too. i finally got so fed up by it that i decided that anybody that doesnt like me for me isnt worth it. dont change your personality for somebody. people like people who like themselves. i know that this is a lot harder thatn it sounds but trust me if you just learn to do it, your life will seem a whole lot more easier. lean on the friends that you have and talk to them anout it.

Answer 10

It's hard but you have to not give a dam.So what if you show yourself up,you may make someone laugh and have a laugh yourself,Talk to people I talk to anyone,Most of the time people wanna talk. say whatever is on your mind. if they can't here it shout tell people what you think speak your mind really what is the worst that can happen. Or you could join a club,whatever your interested in.Try and put yourself in situations were you have to talk.It will get easier

Answer 11

You have to think, "Things could be a lot worse, at least I have a great life!" and if you get down, you've got to look on the bright side of life. Do something to make you feel better, listen to your favorite song, watch your favorite movie, go for a walk, or anything that helps you.