my husband has been cheating on me for a third of our married life and said that there was not only the sex but also feelings. he admitted to it all and says he wants to move on and is extreamly sorry for it all. i keep on picturing them going at it ( i know the 'other women') and i am drowning in it. is it possible to get over being cheated on and if yes, how? and what should i be asking my husband to do for me, to help me get over it?
2006-06-20 08:19:14 · 12 answers · asked by me 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes, you can get over it if you really want to. The first step is to truly forgive him and let all your anger and bitterness go. Your marriage has been through a lot - and you have been through a lot, you should really get into marriage counseling. Having someone to help you get your marriage back on track and sort out your feelings will really help. Usually when someone cheats it indicates problems in the marriage and lack of communication - these are things that a counselor can help with. Best of luck and know that your marriage can be repaired.
2006-06-20 08:23:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi Sophie, I came across your question because I like answering questions on "how to get your ex back" since I managed to rescue a broken relationship with someone I loved a while back . . . BUT . . . After reading through everything you wrote I could never advise you to get back together with this man. His lies and actions are brutal and they are slowly tearing you apart. Worst of all this is happening in front of your young son. You do not deserve to be treated like this, nobody does! I would urge you to spend sometime alone and seriously ask yourself the following questions: 1) Where will I be a year from now if I don't take action and change this situation? 2) What would my life be like if I no longer had an emotional attachment to this man? 3) What was I like as a person before these problems? Just start to vividly imagine where this journey is taking you. I think you will soon see that some tough decisions about your life need to be made urgently. I say this because (when I was much younger) I wasted years of my life in a destructive relationship and I have since vowed never to let that happen again. Rootin for ya, Jimmy
2016-03-26 23:01:35 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kick him in the jewels! That might make you feel better.
Seriously, it is VERY hard to ever get over it! My ex did it to me, and I still freak out 5 years later when my husband now is 10 minutes late getting home! I would recommend counseling. It helps some. I don't think you should ask your husband to do anything for you, except to get out! He has done enough already! I bet he's sorry, sorry he got caught!! it is better to just let him go, and try to move on with your life. It's very hard to move on, and start over, but it will be best for both of you. Once a cheater, always a cheater! Good luck to you!
2006-06-20 08:30:22 · answer #3 · answered by momx4 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A cheating spouse is an exceptionally selfish person. If we were talking a one time slip up... sure, forgive him and move on. But a third of your marriage? This guy has no intention of ever showing you the respect you deserve. Get out, take all you can get from him, and move on yourself. You deserve a better life than he'll ever give you. Sorry that I sound so harsh. I just hope for the best for you in the future.
2006-06-20 08:29:23 · answer #4 · answered by gilfinn 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it's possible to get over being cheated on. You need to remind yourself you don't have to put up with him having a problem being faihtful to you. With a cheating spouse, you need to ask him to do something for you.... Sign those divorce papers.
Not only will you be working to get over it, you will also remove yourself from the chronic problematic situation that he caused. Look where it's gotten you so far.
2006-06-20 09:02:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am a cheater also , and i doubt he can really help u get over it because alota times we dont wanna hear about the hurt we caused its hard , most ppl have a reason why they cheat , some has to do with depression or problems they saw growing up , mine was feeling lonely in bad times with my hubby, i think u can move on but in time, and i know its very important to tell him the pain hes caused u , but it might be like trying to penatrate a brick wall
2006-06-20 08:30:37 · answer #6 · answered by jojo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, forget the word cheating... That's when he dose it and DOSEN't come clean about it... If he is saying it's over, then call it a day and move on... Not a lot he can do to help either... It's your heart, so you fix it... Admit to yourself it's over and that you have to keep going... No more simple or complex than that... IT'S OVER... TIME TO GO, SO GO ON...
2006-06-20 08:25:20 · answer #7 · answered by RIBMASTER 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was married to a man like that and after 10 yrs of hoping he would change I gave up and moved on. Now I am happily married to a guy that is faithful. It wasn't easy but I finally just had enough of him. He never did remarry, (I woudn't of cared) but now he is like an old friend. We had 3 kids together, which made it harder to leave, they are grown now and doing well.
2006-06-20 08:25:34 · answer #8 · answered by Ellyn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could work if you both want it too, but do you want it? It's hard but if you are ready to move on do it. Is their kids in this and if yes talk to them and explain what going on and that they had nothing to do with it. If you need someone to talk you can email me at shel_must@yahoo.com
2006-06-20 08:29:57 · answer #9 · answered by HONEY 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is not going to change, he did not once but a lot of times and even with feelings involved. Clearly he doesn't respect you, your marriage or your family. Please love yourself first, kick hinm out of your life and keep going with your life. You do deserve somebody that can love you sincerely and truly.
2006-06-20 09:10:44 · answer #10 · answered by ajs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋