I'm male, young 60 (still ride a motorbike, like music etc) Wife 56 never intersted in me,sex or any sort of relationship but is into her horses, gradndchildren & dog. Feel i need to get out and start again. Do you think this is sufficient grounds for a divorce?
2006-06-20 08:14:37 · 31 answers · asked by froggiegit 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
bonjour monsior. im sorry for the situation you are in, the way i see it you have two options, you can talk to your wife, for all you know she may be feeling the same way. you dont say if you have fallen out of love with her so if you still feel like you do love her then maybe you can work things out with a little help from a counsellor? your other option (or last resort) would be to leave. youre only 60, thats nothing. do you really want to spend the next 30 years in your situation when you are still young enough to start over. in any case, as the stranglers would say "something better change"! very good luck to you, i hope things work out whatever you do. x
2006-06-21 05:06:45 · answer #1 · answered by jellybean 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, start changing yourself. If you take interest in her. She may change as well. Love her for her and show it. Tell her you love her, and be honest about the problems and how you feel. Respect her feelings even if she tells you something you don't want to hear. She will change and love you as a new man. :) Little things in life goes a long way. Love the dog and your grandkids too. People are attracted to your gentle heart that is unselfish, which is love. If you show her love first, she will show you respect. man is made to love and a woman to respect deeply for mate. So another words, the reason she doesn't respect you is that you didn't love her. Which means treating her like a woman in a way that she feels loved. That mean doing the dishes, cleaning, helping her, LISTENING TO HER, LISTENING, LISTEN and then gently tell her she is right. I'm a husband of a young wife, and the key that i'm sure my wife (which came from 2 generations of divorce parents, will live with me forever. She will not leave me, because I will try to do all the above and more. :) hope it works for you. Study the Bible together at a Kingdom Hall.
2006-06-20 08:30:20 · answer #2 · answered by designer401 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. Sounds more like you're having a late midlife crisis, and a bit of a selfish outlook on your life. And so is she.
You have had a life with this woman, children and grandchildren, good times and bad. Chances are she's menapausal, which means she doesnt have a sex drive. It'd be like if you had ED. You might think sex sounds great, but you cant make yourself do it. Its not a cop out excuse, but you should try understanding, and she should try giving you another shot. There are doctors, herbal remedies, and counseling for this type of situation. nothing that would be more embarassing than the judgement you'd recive for walking away so late in the game.
Think of the expample you're setting for your kids and grandkids.
Its a very very very good thing that you're young at your age, it will see you through many more happy and productive years, but that doesnt mean that you get to just walk away from everything.
You both sound like you could use a few rounds on the dr.'s sofa. If you grew apart its not just your fault, and its not just hers. It takes two to make things work.
Chances are too that she's in a place in her life where she wants to enjoy being grandma, enjoy the slower part of living. You two need to find a way to meet in the middle. Find new interest in eachother and in your hobbies.
You'll probably find that on her end she doesnt feel interesting or loved, or important to you, and this is the world she's built up for herself in your stead.
In the end you will do what it easiest and what you want, its the nature of a human being. But it is still a sad sad thing to see a man at your age throw it all away for the sake of starting again. You need to better evaluate your situation.
2006-06-20 08:26:56 · answer #3 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have to say if you have honestly sat her down and communicated that you love her and would like her to participate in your interests as well as be part of hers and that it hurts you and makes you feel lonely that you dont do things together and ask her if she would try to do things and enjoy a little living with you and she refuses then yes it is grounds for divorce. I believe there are few things worse then being married and in the same lonely as you supposedly share your life. It is not suppose to be that way. Do realize as well that the grass is not always greener because you might just end up lonely alone is that something you are willing to deal with? Or you just might meet someone that enjoys being a young hearted person as well so think it through because you might stand to lose everything or gain everything. Life is too short and the world is over populated with lonely people looking for someone to laugh with to be alone and sad.
2006-06-20 08:31:50 · answer #4 · answered by okigotitalready 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I do not think it is sufficient grounds for divorce. You need to reopen the communication gap that is between you both and rekindle you marriage. It may take a few tries, but divorce is a terrible thing to go through. If children and grandchildren are involved, you would be surprised how it effects your relationship with them also. Good Luck!
2006-06-20 08:20:29 · answer #5 · answered by icemountian8 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No!! I think you should talk to your wife about the things you are missing in the relationship.It is possible that she is missing the same things as you,or that she doesn't realize that she is causing you to feel this way.You should not be beginning life at 60.It sounds like you are having a mid-life crisis and have a desire to experience new things,or perhaps some things you had to put on the back burner later in life.Whichever the case,your spouse shouldn't have to suffer because of your desires.Concentrate on why you loved,and married her in the first place.Then bring those things back to her memory.Memories have a way of reviving old emotions.
2006-06-20 08:23:56 · answer #6 · answered by girlqueen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to decide for yourself. Have you tried getting involved with her and her activities? Have you tried talking to her and sparking your relationship? Who's standards are you asking about by the way? Grounds for a divorce legally, by the church, morally or what? If she isn't interested in you maybe she feels the same way. You can get a no contest divorce if you both want to divorce. Neglect is considered grounds for divorce. It's mental cruelty. And is extremely cruel in my opinion. I think it's worse than name calling and playing games or anything else you can think of out side of physical abuse. 60 is young, but life is short. You need to figure out what you want in life, and go for it. Hopefully you will exhaust all possibility of fixing your relationship first though, but that's up to you and that has to be what you truly want in order for it to work.
2006-06-20 08:31:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it depends, do you love her? are you in love with her? fell out of love? i know in ny where i live, no sex in a marriage is grounds for divorce alone. if she ignores you does she give you a reason why? have you asked? if sex is the issue, not to sound harsh, but just because she wants to live like a nun doesn't mean you should have to be a monk. i am a firm believer that if you love someone enough is never enough and problems can be solved. but if the love isn't there then life is too short to be miserable and you need to find where your happiness lays, even if it's not where you are now. good luck to you.
2006-06-20 08:28:54 · answer #8 · answered by LawlietLover 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, the obvious question is, what words did you say when you made your vows to her?
I hope you can find a way to tell her what you've just shared with all of us... that you admire her, she's doing a good job in other areas, but you miss your companion, friend, and lover. It will take much less effort and pay off much greater to work at saving the marriage, than to get a divorce.
2006-06-20 08:21:10 · answer #9 · answered by georgia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm... get her interested in you by taking interest in the same things she likes, and hopefully she'll take interest in what you like too!
And divorce should be a last resort. Try to find even 1 good thing for all the 1o (or 1o.ooo) bad qualities she possesses. Marriage is a blessing, and no one is perfect. Even if you started over, you have no guarantee of it not winding up the same way, so just try to reignite the flame you and your wife once had!
And just ask yourself - how romantic are you? :) Be more romantic! :D
2006-06-20 08:19:30 · answer #10 · answered by Iram 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋