i have two step kids along with two of my own. i am getting married in September, and i live with my fiance, his two kids, and my two. my step kids' mom is a real loser, but ever since i entered the picture she has a new interest in mothering her kids. dont get me wrong, i love these kids, and having their mother is great, but she is making our lives hell because she is jealous of the attention i am able to give her children. i have tried to talk to her about this. my daughter has a step mom, and i am greateful she has someone else to love her and guide her. if there are any moms out there that can shed some light as to what i can do to make a relationship with the other "mom" better, please tell me. i really just want to make things as good for the kids as possible, and not wreck havoc on our lives if possible.
2006-06-20 07:52:17 · 2 answers · asked by Blonda 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
If she really is interested in trying to be a better mom and making her kids have a good life, she won't shut you out or be jealous. You can help her by being open and honest about your intentions with the children. Tell her you love her children and just want to be an addition to their lives...if she truly loves them she will welcome another adult with her children's best interst at heart.
I've been step mom for 15 years and even AFTER the divorce I still see the children and their mom and I are friendly because she knows that I cared for her children as my own and I still feel that way about them. I recently remarried and my step children from my previous marriage were in my wedding and their mom attended! Now that is a blended family....with only the best interst of the children at heart!
2006-06-20 08:00:18 · answer #1 · answered by Ani 2 · 7⤊ 1⤋
I think she is insecure. I have a son from a first marriage and we went through a kind of messy divorce but even so.....it wasn't long before his new person and I became friends. Neither of us insecure about the other and that worked out better for my son - no fighting. Kids don't need that. She has the problem -- you don't. You have your head on straight. Unless you can convince her that she's acting like a child herself, you aren't going to be able to change her. It sounds like a jealousy issue. Before you weren't in the picture and she could ignore the kids or whatever because they would love her best. Now we have you in the picture and she has to make sure she doesn't lose the kids' love all of a sudden. You must be pretty awesome for her to be working this hard at this. Keep it up.
2006-06-20 07:58:36 · answer #2 · answered by butterfliesRfree 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋