I just got married, I'm pregnant, we have 5 kids, and my sister wants to come live with us, what should I do?
I'm 4 months pregnant with twins, I'm already an emotional roller coster and my husband and I have five kids between the two of us. My 27 yr old sister lives with my mom, but likes my place better and has been here for the last 2wks. She is exactly the type of woman my husband usually goes for, and I'm feeling a little insecure. He has mistakenly called me her name twice already, once why telling me he loves me. At the beach this past weekend, I wasn't feeling up to walking through all the sand to get to the ocean late one night, so my husband and my sister go without me, granted my 11yr old daughter went with them. My husband is a good Chritian man who has reassured me that he would never cheat on me, and he thinks that my thoughts about this are petty. He wants her to stay with us because he feels that I could use the companionship while I'm not working. The thing is, I have let her live with me in the past, and my ex ended up having sexual feelings for her. Please, what should I do?
2006-06-20 07:30:12 · 21 answers · asked by candy0813 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Man do not follow any religion when it comes to sex and women. You already had past experience with your sister living in so if you want to repeat those past than let her stay. And the worst part is that your husband called you by her name that's not cool at all... having 5 kids is a lot and probably do need a hand but pay someone rather than letting your sister stay with you and than your husband getting all kinds of things in him mind.... and as for letting them go place alone that does not matter if your child goes with them or not do not let them go anywhere alone that's not a good thing.... I think its time for sister to leave!
2006-06-20 07:44:40 · answer #1 · answered by Pari 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to tell you this, but even though he is a Christian, he could easily cheat, and it sounds as if he is thinking about it. If I were you, I would kick her butt out and NOT let her and your husband alone.
You already have enough to do with 5 kids and 2 on the way, and a husband and a home. Why should you have more to take on (your sister and the worry of her and your husband together). I don't think that you are being petty. And I don't believe that your husband should have taken a walk on the beach, especially at night, with your sister without you there. This is not right or proper. What is it showing your 11 year old daughter? That it is ok for daddy/a man to go walking on the beach with someone other than his wife when his wife isn't there?
I do wish you luck.
2006-06-20 07:40:18 · answer #2 · answered by honey 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being Christian doesn't mean you can't fall into temptation. I'm not saying that your husband would cheat, I'm just saying that no one is perfect, whether they are Christian or not.
You need to talk to your sister and husband and be honest about how you are feeling. You are feeling uneasy about them spending time together for a reason and you need to be honest about your feelings. If your sister moves in she is going to be there 24/7, in her pj's, in a bathrobe - and you don't want to resent her for being there because you think she's seducing your husband.
Talk to them and clear the air - by telling everyone how you feel you will let your sister know that you would appreciate her not flirting and acting more like a sister in law should act.
2006-06-20 07:35:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It does not matter what your husband believes in or not, men cheat.
However, if you have a strong enough marriage, and your sister knows her place, you should not have any problems. Just don't give the two of them an opportunity to be alone together if you are worried about anything happening.
2006-06-20 07:34:11 · answer #4 · answered by Simply Lovely 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All things are lawful but not advantageous. Remember! The human heart is treacherous. That means if you know what is not good for you. Don't allow it! If you suspect the consequences, why would you let it happen. Your family will be at stake here.
Even a King of a Nation that loves God has fallen to immorality and adultery with the wife of his fellowman. King David in the Bible. That resulted in Fornication, Murder, Lies. The choice is yours.
2006-06-20 07:39:27 · answer #5 · answered by designer401 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must didn't like the other answers....you asked this questions once today. So here it go again. Don't let the your sister or any single relative move in with you. Your husband is a christian but he is also a man and can be weak to the flesh. If you want to keep you marriage in tact and your stress level down, DON'T LET HER MOVE IN WITH YOU....END OF STORY.
2006-06-20 07:39:47 · answer #6 · answered by kitcat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ditto with the other person who answered, it has nothing to do with what religion he adheres to, cheating is cheating and if he is married then he has done wrong by being with another woman. What's up with your sister? Does she not respect boundaries? A lot of people use their religion as a shield to say "I am a good......so I would never do that"...which is often just a lot of cobblers. He definitely has feelings for her as he did say her name when he said I love you. I think something is going on, and intimacy doesn't always involve intercourse. You can cheat with somebody without actually sleeping with them, as the infidelity is in your thoughts, not just your deeds. I say kick both of their sorry rear-ends out in the cold.
2006-06-20 07:38:03 · answer #7 · answered by Crowfeather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel insecure about its because what has happened in the past. Do you feel you could trust your husband NOW? Not the old one, but the one that matters now? The feelings that you have are stemming from old hurts. You need to do what you are comfortable with. Its your house too.
2006-06-20 07:43:41 · answer #8 · answered by Youngstill 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry but I would not let her stay another minute...she is his type and the fact he is calling you her name is a red flag...it should be the other way around..don't hang a steak in front of a bears nose and expect him not to eat it.If you let her stay and he cheats then you were asking for it.By the ways she is old enough to get off her a$$ and get her own place so don't feel bad.
2006-06-20 07:43:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A true man of Christ Jesus wouldn't cheat on his wife. If you have the room to spare I'd say it would be ok only if the door locks from the inside.Plus lay down the rules yourself and have her sign a contract stating exactly what the rules are and that she will abide by them
2006-06-20 07:36:32 · answer #10 · answered by animalsoccerdearth 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋