Not gay but feel weird?

Question

OK, it's like this. I've been straight my whole 19 years, but over the past month I guess out of boredom and paranoia Ive been saying Im gay even though I ve never wanted to be intimate with another man. Now I can't watch a tv show or look at picture if it has a guy in it in fear that Im gay if I look at him (weird I know). Please help me it's driving me crazy this has never happened before I could look at dude no problem but now I feel I'm gay if I do look at one. Is it paranoia and should I just relax?

Answer 1

Slow down and take a breath, dear. Better? Okay, you already said out of boredom you started saying you were gay. You have no want to be intimate with another male. You're not gay. You're being paranoidally silly. Just as you told people you were gay now you've told yourself. Tell yourself you're NOT and get on with your life. If you don't want to believe your own statements, don't.

Answer 2

Well first of all, relax. Everyone questions their sexuality. Perhaps you shouldn't have been saying you were gay if you don't know, but regardless, now you have this huge question floating around in your brain. You need to figure out the answer. Don't avoid looking at other men, instead, start noticing your reactions when you look at them. Maybe even experiment, perhaps not all the way, but try flirting with another man, even going a little further. If you start feeling uncomfortable, stop and try to figure out if you are uncomfortable because you like it or because you don't like it at all and have realized you're not gay.

You cannot avoid the issue though, you absolutely have to confront it and discover who you are. You should absolutely not feel ashamed or disgusted with yourself, you are merely discovering your true self, and there is nothing shameful about discovering and being who you are.

Answer 3

Did you know that in Italy, it's common to kiss another guy? Usually cheek, but family may kiss on the mouth. It's no biggie over there.
The point is, looking at a guy doesn't make you gay - touching a guy doesn't make you gay. Being attracted to/ falling in love with a guy makes you gay. Otherwise, you could walk up to a guy and grab his sack and shake it around, and you still wouldn't be gay. You'd just be a jackass. Don't worry. It sounds to me like your just worried what other people will think of you. The more relaxed/confident you are about your sexuality, the less people will give you crap/wonder if you may actually be gay.
(not that there's anything wrong with being gay - it just seems to me like your concerned about being labeled by friends)

Answer 4

You appear to have some fear surrounding homosexuality. What you need to do is address this fear. I'm not saying that you're homosexual, but you have a fear of homosexuality which is affecting how you relate/perceive guys. You need to get rid of this fear, and then this problem will take care of itself.

You can start by getting a piece of paper and writing, "If I'm gay, its a problem because ...." and then make a list.

Now, look at the list. How many of the entries relate to society, family, religion, or false beliefs? (i.e. the belief you have to be married in order to be considered worthwhile).

The goal of the above is to try and look at this fear you have of homosexuality.

If you're not gay, then you wouldn't have lost anything by doing the above exercise. You might one day find yourself helping someone come to terms with their sexual orientation.

Answer 5

Don't try to hide your feelings. Any feeling is not wrong when doesn't harm anyone. You are not going to harm anyone if you are gay. So don't press the feeling. You can not fight feelings. They will over come you and give you more stress and fear.

Here is quote I know: "When you are not sure about a feeling, go towards it. That's the way to lead a happy life"

So keep it in mind.


If you want to know how nature plays the homosexual part, Visit the following link:

http://www.geocities.com/vibgy/homosexuality_in_animals.html

Answer 6

I think you're just being a bit paranoid about it. Just because you look at a guy doesn't make you gay. You're only gay if you want to get intimate with guys. That means that you can also look at a guy and think he's hot without being gay - it just shows that you appreciate another guy's attractiveness without necessarily wanting to go for intimacy with him.

Answer 7

Question do you want to get down and dirty with another dude? If not it's paranoia, Hell i think it's just you worrying about it so much your mind creates it. I grew up with boys and I'm a girl who can appreciate another girl. Doesn't mean I'm les, i can just see it from their point of view. Truly relax, go find yourself a good lay to prove yourself.

Answer 8

Thats normal to have those type of feelings. In your mind your wandering what this person does or looks like when he's alone or whatever. Your normal, you'll be ok after awhile . Your only 19 give it time, your still a young person, every body has doubts at times.

Answer 9

Sorry to break this to you, but if you feel like you cant even look at a picture of a guy, you're gay.

Just kidding.

looking at a guy, touching a guy, **** even fooling around with a guy, doesnt make you gay.

now if you had the hots for your male high school buddy, that would be a different story.

Answer 10

Personally I think it's a subtle form of homophobia - regardless of if you're heterosexual or homosexual. You are subtly punishing yourself and feeling guilty for looking at other guys! What if they're unattractive to you, do you still look at them the same way, and/or feel the same way? What about women?

In the meantime, don't sweat it. Get your mind on other things.

Be true to yourself and the answer will come. Either way, you've gotta be true to yourself.