plz can someone tell me if there is something missing in my life?.,?

Question

i ve been married for 14 years and ive faced a lot of problems in my marriage, from beating to abusing to my husband having an affair which lasted almost a year, now my husband has changed at least 80%, but dont know why i sitll feel he doesnt luv me, the whole day we dont see each other coz of bussiness, in the night we sit together and watch tv, but hardly communicate, he doent call me ever when he goes to his office, life is so depressing, it seems i am only a caretaker of his home and kids, he doesnt understand after so much i need a lot of love,even in sex he doesnt try to approach me, mostly i am the one who does it, as i want my marriage going, plz help me out, dont know where i am going and wher i ll end. Is this just my thinking which is wrong, or do i really need help?

Answer 1

I did not even read the whole question as it is insignificant...only you know if something is missing in your life.

Answer 2

Wow, you really went through a lot with this man. Well, it doesn't seem like you'll ever leave him. He doesn't love you if he did all of those things to you before. I mean, an outsider looking in. i dont know you or him, but that's what it sounds like to me. I know a good friend who's going through that. She refuses to leave him and it make me feel sorry for her. Your marriage is not a marriage. Sorry to say. I'm 27 and Ive seen this twice. Life is too short. You can be so much happier in you life. Join a group. Go to match.com e harmony.com. So many women are in the same boat. You are not alone. And when you leave him, it will be the hardest thing you ever done in life. After the pain goes away you will be in bliss. It ll take a while but god will it be worth it. People who ask these kinds of question and seek advice usually know what the answer is. They just want to hear another resolution. You know what you have to do. You dont want to do it. Live like this, or start anew. Live for you. Youve been living for him for so long i take it. You must be tired. If its not there,you cant get it back no matter who you see or what you do or wear. Good luck.

Answer 3

the one and only for sure way to fill that empty hole is to go join a local church and start following the path that God wants you to. hey, i'm only 12 so i don't know alot about marriage, but i know that if you do this then you'll feel like you're wanted in life. you'll feel like a great person too! then after you have grown in faith you can go tell other people too. also get your husband and your kids to go. just living a good life and doing good deeds doesn't get you to heaven!(which is what alot of people think) you should saved having kids a long time after your marriage 'cause if you do divorce then the kids will be heartbroken but i guess that's just a risk you have to take!

Answer 4

sweetie. No matter what happens, life is never going to change...unless you change it. I think the problem is that there has been so many problems in your marrage that there is nothing that will ever fix it. Unless you are out of the marrage. How about a trail separation. See how you feel then. I know it's hard to deal with and trying to figure your life out. I hope you don't have little kids. That makes the problem even harder. Just follow your heart and remember be true to yourself.

Answer 5

You need to seek a professional for yourself and your kids. If you have had all of those problems in your marriage, do you really think he has changed or do you think it is to convince you to stay? You need to find yourself and learn to be happy with yourself. It took me 9 years to get out of the same situation, a leopard never really loses or changes its spots. Good luck to you. BTW-my ex is now married to the affair that he "stopped having 1 year before the marriage was over" and they too are having problems because of his unfaithfullness.

Answer 6

Sounds like you guys have lost your spark. He has beat you, cheated on you, and abused you. After all of that he knows that you are not going to leave him. Its time for you to get some professionally counseling and move on with your life. I can understand that after 14 years it is easier said than done, but would you like to spend the next 14 years of your life not experiencing any pleasure or happiness for you and your kids? Good Luck to you and God Bless

Answer 7

Your entire marriage needs help. You should have sought out a marriage counselor years ago. He isn't happy because he isn't able to beat you (assumedly) and he isn't able to run around with someone else. He feels he has no freedom anymore. You need to go see a counselor, or consider if this marriage is worth staying in.

Answer 8

Just keep this in mind: you cannot change someone. They have to change for themselves. If he cannot change for himself then he is not going to change for you. If you are unhappy then communicate that with him. If he does not listen to you then there is no use to stay with him in this marriage. It does not sound like he cares about you or your feelings. The only thing left is to leave him and find a man that loves and respects you.

Answer 9

You are in a very abusive relationship....which would tear any ones self esteem to pieces and depress them. My suggestion is to go to counseling for yourself.....then invite him to join. Give him the choice....if he chooses not to do so then I dont think you have any other option but to leave him in order to salvage yourself. Like others have said it will be the hardest thing you will ever do but it will be sooooo worth it to get "yourself" back. We all deserve better!

Answer 10

if counseling doesn't help, then i would leave him. you should have left him when he was abusing you. that is no environment for your children or you. and you shouldn't be his maid. don't appraoch him for sex until things are really worked out. this may be a while. and maybe if that doesn't work, you can have an affair too. i live in missouri if you need an affair guy.

Answer 11

what you need is something in your life that is fulfilling to you. get a job or volunteer in the community doing something you are interested in or take a class. it seems like he is your only source of comfort or confidence in life and that is putting all your eggs in one basket, and its a lot for one person to give you. you seem to be discontent and i think having an interest outside the house would help you immensely, not to mention this would be something you do to make yourself happy, which in turn makes him happier, but mostly do it for yourself. good luck to you!