i have a really good friend who is overweight and at times she acts like she hates me, what do i do?

Question

one of my really close friends is overweight, she's really selfconcious about it, so i agreed to help her lose weight. she joins me just about every day to jog and work out. sometimes she gets upset, and quits. either ways i love her as a friend, yet sometimes she acts like she hates me. when we go out swimming or jogging she barely talks to me anymore. she only says i have it easy, she always talks about how it must be easy for me to get clothes or wear a skirt. yea, sometimes i push her to work out a little harder, but she asked for it. she also gets upset when we go to the beach because she decides to not come in the water, or even change her clothes. i know it must be hard for her and everything, but i'd atleast like for her to tell me why she's so upset. does anyone have anysuggestions as to why she's mad at me?

Answer 1

I think a lot of it is just jealousy. I dont think shes trying to be jealous but tha fact that she has to work so hard to lose weight and the person shes working out with doesnt have to work as hard. I think she'll get over it in time, just let her lose a few pounds and I think the negativity shes generating towards you will eventually stop. Either way you could always just ask her what her problem is. Maybe all she needs is someone to vent to about this weight problem.

Answer 2

I have to say, I honestly don't think that her being "upset" has anything to do with you, or your friendship.

My guess is (and I could be wrong, as I do not know either of you) is that by her being around you (nothing personal, but you being the thinner person I assume) it reminds her of where she would like to be, with her physical shape. Maybe like when you two go jogging and things, she has a hard time seeing how "easy you have it" as she may see it, in regards to the difference in body shape, since she is wanting to change herself.

The best thing you can do for your friend, is to keep being there for her, and encouraging her. But also, rememeber to place more emphasis on her good qualities (as well as those of others around you) and not focus so much on the physical appearance. Maybe if you help show her that there is so much more to her (to everyone) than what they look like, or how much they weigh.. maybe she'll start to feel better about herself. While it is a really good thing to get in better shape, and get healthier.. just try to help her not focus so much on her size, and just work on getting healthier. Through that, she will absolutely lose weight, and get in better shape. She just needs a lot of support, I'm sure.

I guess what I am saying, is that all you can really do, is continue to be there for your friend, and make sure she knows that everyone's bodies are different, and each and every person is beautiful in their own way. So, just support her, and be there for her.

She's probably just frustrated with herself, and sometimes is taking it out on you, when it really has nothing to do with you, or your friendship.

Good luck to your friend! I hope she gets to where she would like to be (physically) and that she will be more comfortable in her own skin while she is working on losing weight.

Just remind her that beauty comes from the inside <3

Answer 3

You are obviously thinner than she is, and she doesn't like that. Is there anyone who could join you guys when you work out? Maybe she should try going to a weight loss center, where there will be other women who are going thru the same ordeal that she can relate to. Just make sure she knows that you are her friend NO MATTER what she looks like.

Answer 4

Sounds like she should be mad at God(after all, he created her)---I mean, if she's going to get mad at you. But I guess she's acting like a jerk because she's jealous and frustrated. The best thing to do is to do exactly what you are doing: BE A GOOD FRIEND. Let's hope she will realize what a jerk she's being to someone who is trying to help and encourage her through a difficult time.

Aria

*The illnovelist*

Answer 5

she is jealous of the fact that u r slim n she isnt.....inferiority complex issue. just tell her that u really like her as a person n that weight is not really an issue for u or most of the people....make her feel special. stop hangin out at the gym to make her feel that u r not there to compete. hang out for watchin movies u know, or at the library or chess....anything that She is really good at. that'll probably take care of her sour temper.

Answer 6

maybe you should start complaining once in a while that you hate a feature about ureself..for example..when you have a bad hair day you could be like, god, i wish my hair was less frizzy..it'll amke her feel less like an ugly dumpling and less alone. she sounds really depressed. it might be a good idea to tell her parents some of the things she says to show them how low her self image is..try complimenting her once in a while

Answer 7

thats what i hate on over weigth people.( i hate things from every people ok?) they are over weigth but they get mad and sad when they see a good body, then why do they eat that much? if ur gona be jeal then dont do it.

i like over weigth people because they are much nicer than the rest of the people.

Answer 8

you need to work her harder and stop letting her snack on birthday cakes. she's cheating on her diet if she is not seeing results....also try telling her she looks good...or that she has lost weight. she obviously thinks you look good so a compliment from you is a cherished one

Answer 9

maybe thats the way she deals with her dicomfort talk to her about it and tell her shes a really nice person

Answer 10

Why doesn't she look into the lapband for weight loss....