I'm a very affectionate husband. I tell my wife how much I love her and care about her all the time, mutliple times a day even. Our sex life is great (her words, not mine) when we have one, and I'm truly in love with her more than ever.
She just never seems to reciprocate. When I want to hold her or be close to her, she seems to turn away a lot. I'm beginning to think it's because she's just not attracted to me anymore. I've maintained a pretty good physical build, I'm not obese or scarred or anything like that. Actually I'm in pretty decent shape. My personality is great so-I'm-told. I even cook and help with the kids and chores.
Why is this happening? Any ideas on how to proceed from here?
2006-06-20 05:49:05 · 12 answers · asked by genetic_traitor 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
To expand a little here, I don't smother her with love or hang all over her all the time either. She has her space when she wants it. All she has to do is say so and it's hers.
Seems more like she's "with" me when we're out or with friends, but as soon as the doors are shut and the lights are out, I'm by myself.
2006-06-20 05:59:52 · update #1
Perhaps she just doesn't feel attractive. Has she gained weight recently? Has she lost a job? a friend? someone die? There are many reasons why a woman would pull away. Perhaps she doesn't feel worthy of your love and affection. Is she reaching a milestone birthday? that could be it too. You don't say how old she is, but women go through mid life crisis as well as men...is she over 40? Look at life through her eyes and see what is bothering her. Most times it isn't even about the husband.
2006-06-20 07:54:31 · answer #1 · answered by quiaramoon711 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There may be a chance that she senses that you are no longer attracted to her! You're going to either have to explain these feelings to her, file for a divorce or maybe consider counseling! If she is not willing to work on the sex issues or go to counseling with you then consider divorce! A sexless marriage is NEVER good! The things you said about her were harsh, but maybe she could make more of an effort to look better.. although a husband and a wife should love each other no matter what and looks shouldn't be an issue to a certain degree! Good Luck!
2016-03-26 22:51:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry so much, back off a little and see what she does, don't chase her. That maybe be what she's trying to get you to do. If this continues for a long pattern then I would just sit down with her and ask her about it. Their are SO few men that are able to talk about their feelings, but I think you could. Just sit down (make sure to pick the right time) and tell her what you notice, and how you feel about it. Don't MAKE her talk, but just let her know that your there for her if she wants to talk. Let her come to you....don't worry everything is revealed in time. Just be patient. You will have the answers your looking for....
2006-06-20 06:08:46 · answer #3 · answered by dlmvm0612 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your in a rut. Day to day life can drain the romance out of a marriage. Try a weekend get away as a surprise or a romantic dinner. Maybe she just needs to get away. Try doing something that you both enjoyed when you were dating. Mix it up a bit, something different from the day to day routine. If none of that works you need to have a long talk with her to find out exactly what is bothering her. Maybe its not you shes not attracted too maybe she is feeling down on herself? Good luck to you.
2006-06-20 05:57:44 · answer #4 · answered by Badkitty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i really hate to say it but its possible she is or has cheated on u....my friend did the same thing she showed these signs and wud pull away from her husband cuz she felt guilty and thought if she got close she wud end up telling him......or he wud see her body and notice which is un true.....it seems like she is distant and cold towards you and thats never good...but u cnat just start yelling and screaming and accusing her of cheating or suddenly becoming a frigid *****...u have to try to talk to her gently and ask her if she's hapoy ( be prepared for the answer)...maybe u guys need counselling...it sounds like ur a great husband and that u make the effort,.....good luck.
2006-06-20 05:55:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask her about it. It could be that she is depressed. Is something going on is she a stay at home mom? Has she recently had a child? If she doesnt want to talk about it and none of these other things r going on then she may have fallen out of love.
2006-06-20 07:21:59 · answer #6 · answered by barbie_prk 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It might have nothing to do with you. She may be going through something and the more you insist the oproblem has to do with you the more you may push her away. Just let her know your feelings. Not label any actions and be sure she is ok?
2006-06-20 06:01:24 · answer #7 · answered by tana 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she's just tired. Not necessarily of YOU, just.. needing a break. Back off for a bit and see what happens. Good luck.
2006-06-20 05:54:17 · answer #8 · answered by Kelly K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe its because you are too "clingy"....your probably smothering her with your affection towards her...tone it down...or maybe its simply cause shes found someone else to fill whatever void she has that you just dont seem to live up to anymore....good luck
2006-06-20 05:59:45 · answer #9 · answered by lastofodyinbreed 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She has got her another man or woman. It happens alot these days. Start watching her e-mails or hire some-one to watch her.
2006-06-20 05:55:41 · answer #10 · answered by liberal hater 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋