I need some advice. I'm bi-sexual and in the past month, or so some of my freinds have told me that they are gay, or bi. They want to know what they should do and if it is a good idea to tell thier parents. I have no idea what to tell them because I struggled with my own descision for months.
Please help me help my freinds to come out!!
2006-06-20 05:41:37 · 18 answers · asked by T. Emopire 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
....already some of you are saying that I shouldn't be telling my freinds to come out. I'm not thats why I asked in the 1st place. I want to know how I should help them since they came to me.
2006-06-20 06:03:40 · update #1
Its a very tricky question to answer as different people are in different situations. Should one come out to their friends, parents, family, coworkers? Its up to them. One should only come out if they feel ready, and am prepared for all the possible responses. Remember, once you tell someone - you cannot untell them if it goes wrong.
As a friend, you can mention this to them. What they will need from you most, is your support. Bisexuals have more difficulties than homosexuals - as they struggle to come to terms with feelings which aren't part of the gay or straight communities. Your bisexual friends will probably need the most support, as you reassure them from your own experiences that being bisexual is not "wierd".
2006-06-20 11:44:25 · answer #1 · answered by nemesis 5 · 11⤊ 1⤋
I haven't told my parents I'm gay yet, but I'm not afraid anymore!
I'm just waiting for the right moment, I think that's what everybody has to do when getting out of the closet, way for a good moment, a conversation about girlfriends u've never had n don't want to, etc...
I think that is really important to get out from the closet, especially with your parents, otherwise they'll be waiting for things that will never come from you, like getting married and have babies...
Honesty is always appreciated!
I perfectly know that this is not an easy thing to do, thinking in how could your parents react... but it's necessary, for your own sanity.
2006-06-20 05:50:26 · answer #2 · answered by rhBoy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to tell you this but there is no advice anyone can give you, at least not the kind you want. My advice you have to be truthful despite who gets hurt in the end "the truth shall set you free". But I'm telling you from experience there will be a very shaky time a head, where everyone excepts and comes to grasp with the new information. You have to wait them out, true friends will eventually come through for you, DO NOT GRUDGE THEM for their first reaction, that's pure emotion no thought. All others who don't except you, *shrug* I'm sorry, cry and move on.
2006-06-20 06:57:39 · answer #3 · answered by Mysteriously Known 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be there, care, be supportive.
They should come out if they want to -- but some parents kick their kids to the curb -- so if they think that might happen they may want to wait until college.
It is most important that they admit it to themselves, and live their lives with their friends as what they really are -- whether or not they tell their parents.
Good luck, if any of them need to talk to someone older I'm 38, have a lover with whom I've been for nearly 15 years and have raised two kids.
Kind regards,
Reyn
believeinyou24@yahoo.com
2006-06-20 05:57:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Coming out is such a personal thing. It can be very freeing and scary at the same time. Coming out to those you love the most is difficult because you really care about what they think, being rejected by them can be devastating. Be sure you have someone that you can turn to should things go badly. Don't freak out should the person you are coming out to not take it well, they may need time to sort out their feelings as well...give them some space and let them make the next move. If you need help contact your local or national PFLAG. They are a non-profit org. and are the best at helping out with coming out issues. Check out their web site at www.pflag.org
2006-06-20 05:59:01 · answer #5 · answered by The Tiki God 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have always said that it is unwise for people who are still financially dependent on their parents to come out to them, unless they are unquestionably liberal about things like that. Most parents don't take it well.
There is really no reason for parents to know this sort of thing. Sexuality is and should be a private matter between two people who care about each other. If some friends
2006-06-20 16:44:05 · answer #6 · answered by Dustin Lochart 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I get asked this I always respond that coming out is a personal, and let's face it, often painful, process that everyone has to go through on their own. Tell them that you support whatever they decide, that you'll be there for them (with a shoulder to cry on or a sofa to crash on if it comes to that), but they are the only ones who are capable of accurately assessing the risks and benefits of coming out to their families.
One of my closest friends/mentors when I was coming out never came out to his family. He lives with his long-term partner. They own a house together and attend family functions together. His opinion is that all the signs are there, and if his parents wanted to know they would have asked by now. As much as I am in favor of people in general coming out, I can't say I blame him for his decision.
2006-06-20 06:48:22 · answer #7 · answered by lcraesharbor 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are out to your parents, and they accept you, ask them for some advice. Maybe some of your friends could talk with them. If they cannot come out to their parents at least they could if possible be out to yours. It is never good and not easy to live a lie. As a Christian I am praying for you and your friends.
2006-06-20 15:55:24 · answer #8 · answered by Michael 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should be telling your friends to come out. When they are mature enough to handle the consequences they should decide when they will come out. I have seen young people thrown on the street with nowhere to go. They need to make their own decisions.
2006-06-20 06:01:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
im very sory and i don't really know what to tell you but this might be good ad vice it might not be but tell them don't have sex with men because GOD put you on this earth not to be gay or be a bi-sexual he put you on this earth to make more people in the world and a man and a man can not make more people a pinies and a pinies when they pee on each others it wont work you have to have youre dick ina vagina and pee in each others at the same time to make a babby so thats my advise and its true but it is good advise
2006-06-20 06:06:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋