I have been married for 11 years and have 2 children but I'm in love with another man. What should I do?

Answer 1

Follow you heart. I know that always sounds sort of cliche but it does hold true. Life is to short to wonder what if. Balance out the consequences and what you'll be getting in staying in either situation. figure out what you'll be missing out on if you leave your husband or what you'll be missing if you stay. Listen to your heart and let your heart mind and intuition work together to guide you through this time. Good Luck!

Answer 2

You didn't state whether or not you are cheating or whether or not the other man feels the same way about you. You also didn't indicate how old the kids are. We don't know if you have a job or skills to support yourself and your children if this other man you are in love with is not willing, ready, or able to take on that responsbility if you leave your husband.

Relationships borne in lies and deceit usually die that way also.
Strangers on the internet answer page cannot give you a qualified answer as there is no way for us know the entire situation, but living a lie is a sure fire way to low self esteem.

"Staying together for just the kids sake" and sneaking around is setting a terrible example for you kids. If you cheating and sneaking around and do that instead of dealing with your relationship problems with your husband, sooner or later he will find out and so will your kids and it is going to be hard to face your kids when they are teens telling them they need to be honest with you and be honorable and have it thown back in your face that you cheated and you lied and you snuck around and to get out of their face (teens can be the cruelest people in the world). You deserve happiness, your kids need an honorable role models and you husband deserves to be with a woman the loves and is committed to him.

You should see a qualified counselor, minister, or at least a trusted friend first to sort out your feelings, values and priorities. If you decide to leave your husband you will also need to see a lawyer and might be a good idea to do that before you tell him as divorces that end because a spouse is cheating get ugly fast.

Answer 3

Lady, do what you think is right. But for the love of God, don't do anything that will drastically have an impact on how those two children grow up. I'm not saying stay with your husband for the kids, but I'm also not saying to run off with someone else and get married either. You made the decision to marry, and bring these children into the world. It in now your responsibility to see to it that they have safe, nourishing lives.

Answer 4

girl.... If you really think that your marriage is over, that you really have thought LONG!!!! and HARD about leaving your husband, the consequenses, the effects on EVERYONE, that means you, your kids, him, your parents , his parents...I mean everything!!! If that other man is worth breaking your marraige up for and is this other guy going to be there for you. Then do it!! Life is too short!!! I divorced my husband after 11 years of marriage and we have 1 child. It was the hardest thing I ever did. It still is challenging. my x and I get along really well, we live in the same town and both of us are involved withh our daughter. WE have joint physical and legal custody of her. But things might not be that peachy for you, I don't know. Some divorces can get really ugly!! I have seen that too!! Just think of the whole picture.. Be careful.. Stop and think... go talk to a divorce councelor. I did it helped even though I still decided to go through with the divorce. I had no help. My parents dis owned me for a long time. things are better there now but it is just HARD!!! Good luck. I f ya wan t to talk email me. [e-mail]

Answer 5

I can only say the timing and circumstances are typical and unless your husband has been abusive physically, emotionally ...or substance wise...you are failing as a wife and mother of your children for giving your love to another outside the family...If you think your a good person and you deserve more than what your receiving from your husband and children...then you need to communicate that to them not another man..end the affair or end the marriage...your family deserves one or the other not both.

Answer 6

You should grow up.

Your wishes and whims should have stopped being the most important thing in the world to you when you decided to bring children into it.

If your husband is good to you, and good to the kids, go seek out councilling. If you can repair the marriage, that will be the best for the kids.

If you've tried and nothing can be worked out, and you are miserable to the point you are negatively effecting your children, then begin working on an animicable seperation.

Answer 7

Try your best to stop thinking about the man you are going to have dead-end relationship. I know it is hard for you to forget your love but think about your children & husband's feel. Do they mean nothing inside you? Come on, I'm sure you are a sensible and rational lady but somehow you have temporary blinded with love affairs with another man who might have given you some sparks. But does this worth for your life-time happiness with your present complete family? You could be easily broke the whole piece of happy looks of your children.

If you really cannot let go of the man that you are pursue, I suggest that you should be fair to your husband and talk to him about your feel.

Answer 8

When you decide to have children you're love life isn't important. You can have feeling for anybody you want but you can no longer act on those feelings. When you're a parent the only reason you leave is if you or the children are being abused. End of story.

Answer 9

I'm pretty sure it is a Phase because I went through that too. Try to not allow yourself to be with this guy too much. I almost acted on my feelings of love for another guy and I resisted it and now I have been married 27yrs and this guy who I almost left my husband for has been married 3 times since then. And he is an alchoholic too. I am soooooo glad I stuck it out through the rough moments and dull moments with my husband. Our life has really become very special. Try to resist, it will improve if you WANT IT TO.

Answer 10

Re-assess why you got married in the first place. The grass isn't always greener on the other side, and I would hope you wouldn't put your children through that. Get the man you're supposedly "in love" with out of your life...no phone calls...no drive-by's...no nothing, and focus on your marriage.

Answer 11

think your in love because this man gave you feeling that he cares.i been marryed 19 yrs.most of the woman i know falls into traps like this .and lose everthing thay have.need to see what you have in front of you .and think about it if your man cant gave you what you need.then you need to try harder with your husband.alot of marryed woman has been at your spot thay want to feel love by there man .MAKE TIME and you will see were your heart lies and i bet it with the man you marryed.no 1 wants to work on there marrage any more.thay think there is better out there.your fooling your self .do what i do love what you have make time and in joy life .be for you can love you got to love your self.there is no love unless you can trust your self.remember .TRUST IS BEFOR LOVE.