My best friend is in a new relationship and they are all over each other and I have been married for 4 years and with this man for seven. I don't realistically expect things to be fireworks all the time but DAMN Imiss that excitement. What should I do?
2006-06-20 04:59:52 · 8 answers · asked by hotsexyromance 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It is not the fireworks that one misses when one decides on a person to spend eternity with, but that feeling you get when initial sparks happen due to a new romantic discovery. While you can always bring fireworks to a marriage, you are probably never going to recapture that first kiss moment and the element of unknown and anticipation. Part of being married is being okay with that in return for moments of bliss, peace in security of being loved unconditionally, and the benefits of being part of a trusting partnership that can weather bad times.
Those first kiss moments and those intense first months of a relationship more often than not fizzles out leaving the person to redo the whole thing over again. After being monogamous for awhile we often forget what dating was like and think the grass is greener. We forget about all the wondering, reading of tea leaves, the person never calling you back, or realizing that you have nothing in common with the person who are hopelessly attracted to and you have to break it off. The romantic rollercoaster was fun, but it also could be heartbreaking. The excitement and thrill of those first months have a lot to do with not knowing the person fully, but only what they choose to show.
Sometimes we also identify the "excitement" as something from when we were more youthful and desirable. When you get married you get a different reaction from people than when you were young and single. So it might very well be a reaction to the changing status and letting go of one's youthful self. Change can be scary.
Create opportunities for romance, dressing up, and together time. Take a salsa dancing class and pursue a hobby you can do together. There are also adult games that spark romantic thoughts. You can decorate the backyard with xmas lights and candles and play romantic music.
What also helps is to look at the things that brough you and your husband together. Do you share the same values, attitudes about money, and same dreams? What are the little things you would miss if he wasn't around. You might just want to make time to exchange those thoughts with your husband. Think about all the memories you share and share them.
Hope this helps.
2006-06-20 05:50:19 · answer #1 · answered by Denise C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Invite your man out to dinner, pick a restaurant that you both enjoy. Wear something you know he finds very sexy on you.
At dinner, keep things positive and sexy! Talk about the things the two of you have done in the past that you really enjoyed, ask him what it is that he has really enjoyed! Are there any fantisies you have always wanted to try? If so, tell him about this too!
After dinner on the way home, kiss him and touch him at every stop light or stop sign. Once home, you can slowly remove all of his clothes and have him lay on the bed. Now he can watch you slowly remove yours. This will get both of you very excited.
Lay on the bed with him and start doing some of those things you used to do and talked about during dinner! This should re-ignite a few sparks for BOTH of you!
Good luck and have fun!
2006-06-20 12:09:05 · answer #2 · answered by Ekimo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jump the hubby's bones! Seriously, you definately sound like you want to put the fire back in your marriage. Best thing to do is make the effort. Start dating all over. Do some of the things, crazy or not, that you did when you were dating. Get a book, plenty of books with ideas on romantic, fun, sexy, cozy dates.
2006-06-20 12:49:29 · answer #3 · answered by Carp 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
bring the excitement back in the marriage. i have been married for 2 years and we're still all over eachother
2006-06-20 12:03:28 · answer #4 · answered by Courtney A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yr best friend is just starting her courtship and definately they are much much loving ever after but once she is married someday, things will be different already.
I do not know whether you have your excitement courtship with your husband before both of you are married, but I'm sure your husband must have touched your heart before you say "I do". So please do not compare with anyone and you'll be more happier and joyous.
2006-06-20 12:11:41 · answer #5 · answered by Adorable Mrs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Create the excitement in your marriage! Plan a night out, dress sexy, tease him, etc.....
2006-06-20 12:40:22 · answer #6 · answered by bluez 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
join the crowd
2006-06-20 12:03:38 · answer #7 · answered by otexasgina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
bring it back
2006-06-20 12:07:13 · answer #8 · answered by ♥*♥Bahamian Gal♥*♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋