A young woman, in her 20's , takes good care of herself, athletic, loves life and having fun, married for 4 years almost five, have two kids. She has a high sex drive, her husband is a good man, but he's fat and lazy, he avoids intimacy because he's always tired, and when they do it, it's not even good. She tried everything, made him go to the gym, bought him new clothes, tried to find some sort of hobby that they can do together, but he's always too busy for her.
what should she do? is it okay to get divoreced only because she is sexually not satisfied??!! she's my best friend and i told her not to do anything stupid like getting a divorce, he's a good man, she has to deal with it, what do you think?
2006-06-20 04:58:20 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think you are right. There is a lot more to a relationship than just sex. I'm not discounting the importance of sex but she has to realize how hard it is to find a really good relationship. Would she rather be having great sex and miserable all the rest of the time? At least with sex, she can take things into her own hands or even do the web cam thing without cheating and still have the wonderful life she does. The only thing I hear her saying besides the sex issue is that he doesn't have time for her. That is a concern and a reason beyond sex to consider divorce. She needs to deal with this situation because it is important that he make time for her and for them to be together and experience life together. Without that then there is no real relationship, they are just two people living together.
2006-06-20 05:06:59 · answer #1 · answered by rkrell 7 · 7⤊ 1⤋
I think everyone has missed the part about him being too tired for her. She's tried to find hobbies for them to do together. That is not sex based. It sounds like her husband may actually be depressed. If he's not happy about his weight then he will feel bad about himself, which will lead to a lack of motivation to do anything about it. She should talk with her husband and possibly get counselling for him and/or both of them. Sex is something that gets affected when there are other problems in the marriage. I do agree with the person who said divorce is a last result. If he won't do anything to help himself, and try to help their marriage then he is not really interested in working at their marriage. Marriage is work, for both parties.
2006-06-20 12:26:20 · answer #2 · answered by kirsty h 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs to make him healthy dinners and exercise with him. Have him give your oral and you get on top during sex. Less work for him that way. Encourage him to lose weight and that you will be right by his side while he does. Why is he too busy if he is so lazy. This does not add up. Do something with him that he likes to do. This is not a reason to get divorced at all. She really needs to stay with him and maybe his doctor can put him on a strict diet and exercise routine and they do have pills for weight loss now.
2006-06-20 13:22:02 · answer #3 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi there,
i think ending a good relationship , a good marriage because of unsatisfactory sex life is not so sensible.
what u could do try some really corny tricks
- maybe slip Viagra(do some research be fore executing this idea) into his coffee
- or watch some xrated stuff together to really get him up and going.
-spend some good amount of money on some sexy lingerie.
try all ur options before trying anything drastic.
Cheers,
Gyaan Guru's wife
2006-06-20 12:33:44 · answer #4 · answered by Gyaan Guru 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is selfish and spoiled. She wants everything her own way. So what happened he married her and then just started gaining weight and not wanting to be with her. She is probably not picnic to live with. Does she think he doesn't realize she is disappointed in him? Does she think he doesn't understand the whole gym and new clothes thing? By the way in bed you are only as good as your partner.
2006-06-20 12:05:45 · answer #5 · answered by AlphaFemale 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, i am currently lossing the same battle.. Exept my man, gets satisfied like 3 times a day.. I dont think he even cares about my needs? Does your husband even try? Maybe we should hook up.
2006-06-20 12:03:33 · answer #6 · answered by juls9679 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
divorce is the last step...She should try everything before even thinking about divorce...if she needs sex then tell her to buya movie and a viborator and go for it...sex is no reason to get a divorce....the must have sex they have two kids...
2006-06-20 12:03:28 · answer #7 · answered by ERICKSMAMA 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally think that she married him that way she should stay with him.
Just tell her to stick with it and manage try doing stuff together say a gym.
2006-06-20 12:08:31 · answer #8 · answered by cici 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋