What have you had to compromise or give up because of marriage?

Question

I always wanted to have a lot of children and also to foster some kids. I was homeless for a period of time when I was 16 and it was really hard. I wanted to offer a safe place to kids that found themselves in the same situation. My husband had 3 kids when we met and I had one, then we have one together. He decided he did not want any more children and had a vasectomy. He also will not allow any fostering or adopting as he just doesn't really like kids. No patients for them. I had to give up my dream of fostering and having more children. What sort of compromises have you made or what kind of things have you had to give up?
FYI- I love my husband. His children are older, grown and gone.
Love & Light
Sharon

Answer 1

Well truly I haven't given anything up since I been married but I had to compromise with shopping because we had a daughter which I rather do all the shopping for her rather than me. I am fine with that because I love my daughter. The only thing I had to give up was going to school full time to finish up my career. You see my daughter was born with club feet (her feet where turned in) so all my time was spent with her taking her to the doctor every week to get her cast put on her legs to turn over little by little her feet they loOK better know but she might need surgery. I am ok with not finishing up school like I had it planned. My daughter comes first seeing her play and run around like a ordinary kid will be my compensation for not finishing school on time.

Answer 2

I gave up excessive drinking, but that was a good thing. My husband and I have one son. He's 4 and I would like to have more kids. I don't think he could have any more, he's older and not in good health. But he won't even consider foster kids or adoption. I know how you feel wanting to provide a good home for children. All we can do is pray for the children or a change of heart. Good Luck!

Answer 3

I gave up my home-country, which is a bigger compromise than i ever imagined it would be.

being far from home, family, friends, my pet, loved-ones, stuff you're used with, even silly things as TV-programs, papers, magazines, special native food, smells, etc makes life a bit weird sometimes.

we have different cultures, different habbits, different religions, we had completely different lives.

weirdly enough, one smile of her outweighs all needed compromises.

i always believe that in any form of relationship a "NO" should be far more important than a "YES". i.e. if somebody doesn't want something, then it won't be done. (mark's first rule on relations). Even when i'm around ten people, if nine wanna do something, and one really has problems with it, we just don't do it. In relationships there is no place for democratic things, just for conciderate feelings.

Answer 4

sounds to me as if your husband wants to raise the ones you have and when they are gone he wants to have some time to be with you .. your drean of wanting to help other children is wonderful , but if you press the issue you may lose your husband inthe end . if you would like to help other children try helping at a boys and girls club or some kinda of church that needs some one so caring . my friend tryed the foster care , she also had her own kids , it turned out to be a mess , her 11 year old daughter was raped by one of the older boys she took in ,some time when you try to help others you get burned in the end .. I am not saying that you should not help other kids in need but be very carful who you bring into your home .........good luck

Answer 5

The man had 3 kids of his own when you met him and he doesn't really like kids? Uh...alrighty....I'm assuming you knew this before you two got married and decided to have another kid?

Anyway, I've given up my partying days with my boys.

Isn't too bad though, I prefer to be with my kids anyway.

Once or twice a month, I go out with my boys, catch a buzz with some good beer and play some Hole Em.....

The wife does the same thing with her girlfriends once or twice a month.

Breaks up the monotony.

Answer 6

EVERY married person has to compromise or give up because of a marriage...instead of having foster kids...why dont you volunteer at a teen shelter? any time spent with them is better than no time....you have a big heart and thank you for reaching out to them =)

Answer 7

Mine sounds really shallow compared to yours but I have to live in an area of the country that I despise because it is the best place for him to learn and further his career. My job can be done anywhere really and I would rather not live in London UK if I could choose, we are kind of stuck here now and I really hate it. Sometimes it gets to me so much that I cry but I love him and I want to be with him so I just hope this is not a permanent thing.

Answer 8

That's a hard one. Is your relationship worth giving up that dream? I have nor had to compromise or give up anything for my marriage. We both have dreams and include each other in them. It is hard in your situation when you husband does not want what you want. You need to talk to him about your feelings and see if there is a way that you can come to an agreement.
good luck!!

Answer 9

Why can't you volunteer your time at a hospital if you just have to be with children?? Cancer wards, premi-babies nursery, AIDS babies etc. would LOVE to have your services. Then you'll have the best of both worlds. Don't pressure your husband for more kids if he truly doesn't want them. He's doing you a favor by being honest with you. Get to the nearest hospital and give of yourself. Kids will love you and you'll be blessed!

Answer 10

Marriage is all about compromising - give and take. I don't know that I had to give up anything that I didn't want to give up. Which to my understanding, you have free will to marry when and to whom you desire so I am not quite sure why you would feel that you had to "give up" or compromise in the first place. You had a choice, no? Don't take offense, it is just a question to think about when you ask yourself that question.
God Bless