Should I stay with my husband?

Question

My husband is a good man, the problem is that I have a child with my ex husband and he still loves me very much. I'm not happy with my current situation, and I'm not sure I want my ex husband back. I'm so confused, somebody please help me with some answers!

Answer 1

Sounds like you need some "me" time! Do something by yourself or just with your children. You need to clear you mind and find out what you want and what is best for those children.

Answer 2

You have mentioned that your current hubby is a good man. That's a plus. Does he love your child? If he does, that's awesome. You mentioned that your ex still loves you very much, question is, do YOU love him just as much? Do you feel that going back to him is the best possible decision to make? If you are thinking of going back to him cos you still very much love him, there should not have been divorce in the first place. If you're happy with your current hubby, I see no reason to be confused about this. By thinking about this, you may still have feelings for Mr Ex. By doing this you're actually hurting Mr Current and also not to forget that you may be adding more confusion to the child's life. Think long, think hard. Ask yourself if you still love him.Do you want to be with him again? Will you be happier with him? Do you not love your current enough to leave him and hurt him? This is a big step. I feel that you should work on your current marriage so it doesn't end up in divorce like before. Be good friends with your ex. Let the past go. Move on. You've started a new life with someone........live it to the fullest.

Answer 3

Just last year I left my husband, and even though it was my choice, it was the hardest thing I have ever done and questioned all the time if I made the first decision. After 7 years with someone the fear is starting over. But you do have to realize that you left him for a reason and don't forget that. Do you miss the comfort or the familiarity of the relationship with your ex? And now that your unhappy with your new husband may be why your feeling this way towards your ex. It’s a comfort issue or it was for me. I know I made the right decision and now am happier than ever, but you will never forget about your past relationships, they made you who you are and you do have a child with him which explains a lot of your feelings. It makes it even harder when the ex still loves you and you may be feeling gulity and thats why you are considering going back. Good luck!!!

Answer 4

Well, I think you need to dicuss your unhappiness with your current husband and suggest ways for change. Maybe he's unhappy too but just not showing you. Conversation, openess and honesty are key in a relationship. So what if your ex husband still loves you! Do you still love him? I'm sure there might be an old flame but if you're questioning whether or not you want to be with him, why bother? Sure there's a child involved but you knew that and you still got married again so obviously you moved on in some respect. Do you really want to leave a good man for something that didn't work out in the past and something that you're unsure will work out in the future?

Answer 5

A counselor will probably ask you what is it that you are looking for in a mate. Then suggest you make a list of pros and cons of your present and past relationships. This will help you focus on what you really like(d) or dislike(d) about your choices in your mates.

While it is certainly important that you as anyone be happy in your relationships, it is even more important that you consider the consequences mate hoping will have on your child.

Seeing that your first husband stills loves you makes me wonder was the abuse or neglect on his part, in which you certainly do not want to consider going back into that situation. Or, did you think the grass would be greener with hubby #2 and now find your current situation is no different than your original one.

If hubby #1 is a good man and you left because you were in search of greener pasture, then consider going back to him and re-unite your child back with his/her biological father. If #1 was a bum and you are considering going back to him, slap yourself! Knowing #2 is a good man but does not light your fire, still consider working through it for stability in your child's life.

In either case, definitely seeks personal and family counseling to find out why you unsatisfied/unhappy and how to maintain a stable family atmosphere.

Answer 6

You divorced your ex for a reason and going back into the same situation again is not a good idea. You married your current husband for a reason, try to remember what that reason was. Your best bet for now is to try and resolve problems with your current husband. Never, ever, go backward in your life. Try living for yourself and your child first (don't forget about God being before anything else). Men are supposed to love their wife first and the wife returns the love. Good luck.

Answer 7

Well not knowing the entire situation, what I will say is that your EX husband is your EX for a reason - right? If you are not happy in your current situation, then get out...but, you don't have to go from this man straight to your ex honey. You CAN be alone, I do it and I have THREE kids. You deserve peace & happiness and you are the ONLY one who truly knows what you need/want to achieve that. Just remember, you don't NEED a man in your life to be complete.

Answer 8

Maybe you need some counseling to see what the real problem is here. Women usually want a good man and you are lucky to have one. Maybe you both need counseling. Forget the ex and just have connections with him regarding the child. You divorced him for some reason, right? People don't change that much. Get a counselor now!

Answer 9

Think of the current situation does your husband treat you and your child better than your ex did .Are you better off in your current situation, if yes then work it out. Obviously there's a reason why he's your ex? Don't forget that!

Answer 10

U AND YOUR EX HUSBAND WILL ALWAYS HAVE THAT SPECIAL CONNECTION BECAUSE OF THE CHILD THAT U ALL SHARE,KHOWEVER THAT SHOULDN'T AFFECT THE CURRENT SITUATION! I'M A FIRM BELIEVER OVER NEVER BACK TRACKING AND THE REASON THAT I SAY THIS IS BECAUSE FOR THE MOST PART WHEN U BACK TRACK,THINGS NEVER GET RIGHT.THEY SEEM GOOD AT FIRST AND THEN THE SECOND THAT U COMFORTABLE WITHIN THAT RELATIONSHIP,THINGS BEGIN TO GO DOWN HILL FROM THAT POINT. SO I SAY THIS TO U,"PLEASE TRY TO WORK IT OUT WITH YOUR HUSBAND",IF HE'S AS GOOD PF A MAN AS U SAY HE IS,IT SHOULDN'T BE HARD TO WORK THINGS OUT.

Answer 11

Yes stay with your current husband.

Your ex is an EX for a reason.

Work on your current marriage.