What is OUTGOING and why employers discriminate so much if you're not?

Question

I'm not outgoing, 26m. But i get the job done. In all the places i've worked at, everyone is outgoing except me. But i always do the job, so what they b**ing about so much? Sure, the jobs where i've gone are clerical type of jobs but even in say an Office Assistant/Administrative Assistant type of job, why do i need to be outgoing? If i can do the job and speak at times when i need to, isn't that enough. I hated in my past jobs, they all looked at me like a dumb ***, just because i didn't talk much.

Answer 1

"Outgoing" is displaying positive personality traits. People like being around other people who exhibit these traits. It has apparently not struck you that one of the great injustices of the workplace is that personality is usually more important than skill, other things being equal. You aren't going to change this any time soon.
Looking at it another way, it is likely that whatever is being done where you work isn't the type of job that people would show up and do if they weren't being paid. That being said, being pleasant to each other makes life a good deal easier for everyone. You don't have to walk around with a smile on your face like you are on heavy anti-depressants, but your mannerisms and the way you say things all have an effect on other people. If you make others uncomfortable, then they want to be around you less. If that is true, you are worth less to the company. I encourage you to accept this and consider a few positive modifications to your behavior which might help.
The bottom line is this: if you decide you like a given job, look like you are enjoying it. A few efforts at, perhaps, helping others, saying positive things about other people and generally not being a pain in the butt can work wonders. Yes, the daily grind is a pain and everyone has his or her problems, but no one wants to see that on someone's face. Believe me, you may think you are hiding it, but it is transparent.
You may want to have your doctor check you out for depression, which is a medical condition. It is treatable without pills that make you into a zombie. There is no shame in having depression. Asking for help shows strength of character.
Lastly, if you decide to make a few changes, don't expect miracles overnight. You clearly aren't going to become a chatterbox, but try and see yourself the way others see you, respond to what people want from you in a positive manner, and smile a few times during the day at other people.
If none of this works, you might want to try going to school for engineering. Typically, these people like working with machines and figures because they find people are disconcerting.

Answer 2

Basically if a person is outgoing it means they're extroverted. They like socializing and interacting with other people and they enjoy new challenges and new situations. Obviously, not everyone is an extrovert so the key is to find a balance that works for both you and your employer(s). Employers like hiring extroverts specifically because they're going to be easier to work with, and also they're generally better people to have in customer service.

But--as I said, the key is to find a balance. You might not be a people person, but make a friend or two at the office. Talk about what you watched on tv last night. Don't be afraid to connect with your fellow employees. It might seem stupid or trivial, but people react better when they know they can relate to you.

You're definately not the only person out there in your situation either. There's a lot more intoverted people out there than you might think at first. You might want to look into reading "The Introvert Advantage:How to Thrive in an Extrovert World" by Marti Olsen Laney.

Answer 3

"Outgoing" is a more friendly / aggressive attitude that requires you to INITIATE actions with other people and set the tempo as to how the conversation goes. It also invites others to be friendly back to you.

If you're not outgoing, then there's plenty of other jobs for you. But if you're in retail and deal with the public, then employers look for qualities in that kind of employee that will generate sales and customer satisfaction.

So it pays to at least be able to be minimually outgoing, - even if it's not your first personality trait.

BTW, don't bad-mouth past jobs, - you're starting to look like a complainer, - nobody likes that.

Answer 4

If you work with the public, you need to be outgoing. No one likes to go into a place and have to deal with someone who doesn't talk and keeps to themself. I work with the public....all of us in this office make the day fun both for ourselves and for the customers. If they came in and we were all introverted, they wouldn't like to deal with us. Grow up and realize the world doesn't revolve around you. You may be getting the job done, but you sure aren't brightening anyone's life. And they probably would prefer to deal with someone else other than you.

Answer 5

I have learned that working in an office people get wrapped up in everybody else's life and buisness. They just don't like that you partake in that office gossip and lifestyle like them. Don't worry about it. It's best that you don't flap your jaws and talk about your personal life at work like the others do. Keep up the good work and I wouldn't worry about it. Just do what you have to do and don't get wrapped up in the "office click" if you know what I mean? I think that maybe somebody might want to get to know you better and they are trying to get you to be more outgoing so they can figure you out or date you or something to that matter. I know some women who think they have to have a crush on SOMEBODY at the office. Reguardless if you are the only man or the not so hot man.....Or they want you to notice them or have your attention. Sometimes women like men's attention at the office. My advice is to continue what you are doing and no office drama will get started. Trust me, I got "laid off" one job, b/c I was too outgoing. I learned my lesson.

Answer 6

I'm not that outgoing and my jobs have also discriminated against me. Its not right, but they do. If you look at the people that are hiring, they are the outgoing type (for the most part) and they hire like people (in most cases).

Answer 7

If your an office assistant you'll probably need to be answering phones, and they'd probably rather have someone "outgoing" do it. I'm rather shy and I worked in retail for a while, it was very painful!

Answer 8

It can also mean, relating well with other people in the company which is important for the work environment or that you will take initiative and be more motivated.