My friend is getting married next year. Her fiance's parents want to pay for only their guests, about 50 persons, while the bride's guest list amounts to 150. Is that fair to the bride's family or does that sound reasonable? After all, why should the groom's parents have to pay for her side of the family? Or am I wrong here? Are the costs equally shared when one side has three times as many guests as the other?
2006-06-20 03:43:03 · 16 answers · asked by Kimmy 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Traditionally, the bride's family pays for the wedding (in the above case all 200 guests from both sides of the family), and the groom's family the rehersal dinner and often the honeymoon and also helps get the couple started. That is how traditionally it evened out. As people postponed weddings until they are older and more financially secure, couples have taken on more of the expense of weddings, so they can control what happens.
The whole idea of the wedding is bringing people from both sides and making them one. If the bride is worried about the expense of additional guests, she should trim her list. The cost per head adds up, and I always advise to trim the list to 80 or less guests to give the bride and groom enough face time with each guest. Sometimes, brides with large and close extended families there is no way to avoid monopolizing the guest list and going way over 100 guests.
There is always room to break with tradition when everyone involved is comfortable with it. There are cases where the bride's family cannot afford a wedding that the groom's family's social class expects, that family may step in and pay for the wedding. Both families might want to pitch in for the couple. In cases of second or third marriage, parents are not obligated to pay for the wedding, but may choose to do it anyway.
2006-06-20 05:22:07 · answer #1 · answered by Denise C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Traditionally, the bride's family pays, but that is going the way of the dodo. When I got married, I paid for everything, but I limited the total guests to 50. This way, if anyone wanted to bring the "second cousin once removed" they could do so, as long as they paid for him or her.
Usually, when people are not footing the bill, they are usually the ones who are the most unreasonable.
I'd stay out of this, but if you need an opinion, since the groom's side has 50 guests, and they are paying for the wedding, they should pay for 50 guests from the bride's side as well. As for the remaining 100 guests, let the bride's family pay.
2006-06-20 10:48:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In the past, it was customary for the bride's parents to pay for the entire wedding. With the cost of today's weddings, sometimes, it take a life savings of parents to fund a wedding for their children. It is not that the parents do not love their children, but financially, it is a burden. Modern weddings, the bride and groom plan the wedding in advance and absorb most of the cost as not to put a burden on their parents. I was blessed that my in laws paid for my wedding, but we did not have to have the best of everything. The best thing about the wedding is the bride and groom.
2006-06-20 10:55:29 · answer #3 · answered by icemountian8 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think they are right but being cheap also. They are all about to be family in a way so why not just divide the whole price by 2 or even 3. Thats the most reasonable thing I can think of. More than likely more than 50 people are gonna end up showing for his side anyway and all 150 arent gonna show up for her so you really can't go by how many people are coming on who's side. Just add everyone together and go from there!
2006-06-20 10:47:10 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The traditional way is for the brides parnets pay for the wedding, the floral, the dress, the bridal attire, the food, the cake, the grooms cake, the trinket gifts, dj or band, bar tender, etc.... The grooms parents are responsible for the rehersal dinner. The groom himself is responsible for the brides bouquet, honeymoon, the limo or transportation, the garder.
Hope that helps.
2006-06-20 10:58:45 · answer #5 · answered by firecrackertx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
costs should be split in half, but usually daddy's little girl gets what she wants so fathers of the bride do tend to pay more. the bride should cut her guest list and work it out. but, both families should split the bill and whatever is extra is just that extra.
2006-06-20 10:55:11 · answer #6 · answered by ladiB812 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Traditionally, the bride's family pays for the entire wedding, so the groom's family is being very generous!
2006-06-20 10:46:20 · answer #7 · answered by flamingo_sandy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well to tell you the truth the brides parents are traditionally supposed to pay for most of the things. There is a website that gives what traditionally happens as far as who pays for what, http://www.theknot.com
check it out. It is a great resource sight!!
2006-06-20 11:16:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tradionally its the brides parents that pay for the wedding, but i think if parents want to go half and half that would be a good idea
2006-06-20 10:46:22 · answer #9 · answered by Male Sicilian Trauma Nurse 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the brides parents pay for the wedding, you pay for divorce
2006-06-20 10:50:48 · answer #10 · answered by punchpringle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋