Me and a male friend of mine have been talking for the past 6 months. We're not together, but we've been playing the role for some time now. I've fallen in love with him and he claims to have strong feelings for me, but I have a lot of insecurities in our friendship. We are currently on summer break in college, but he still lives in the city where we attend school. He begged me to come down and visit him the entire summer, so I finally went last Thursday and stayed until this past Sunday. We had a great time, until I checked his e-mail, which is something I've been doing for a while. Comes to find out, he's sending and getting a lot of messages from females that live in the same dorm as me. I was not at his house when I checked it, but when I did, I quickly called him and told him that I was on my way over there. When I got there, I cursed him out and told him that we could no longer be friends because I heard that he has a lot going on in his life that I wasn't dealing with.
2006-06-20 03:16:10 · 8 answers · asked by DaBossLady 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It's actually not as bad as it looks.
Though I must say that you might want to learn how to control your temper and mouth. You probably get into trouble about that quite often. That part about cursing him out and telling him you no longer want to be friends was a bit excessive.
That said, your dealing with this issue straight up and immediately is a huge plus. Co zit means you aren't afraid to get these things over and done with instead of trying to be sly about it.
A little subtelty is called for however because guys like composed ladies, not crazy women.
Now here is what you do. Call him and tell him that you are sorry you got so pissed. be calm and sweet. Tell him you saw all these messages and you guess you got a bit jealous. Tell him you had no right. Tell him then that you hope you can still be friends. Offer him a nicely cooked meal as your apology (or a movie and dinner outside if you are a lousy cook).
Be courteous and polite. But don't be all like up in his face or anything. Don't be too cold either. Just be a FRIEND. Nothing more, nothing less. If he tries to take the conversation to other places bring it back to more mundane stuff. You are a girl, you should have had plenty of practice from guys trying to hit on you that you didn't want to go down that path with.
In other words, give him all the friend benefits with out being anything more. And don't sleep with him!
Depending on his personality type it should take him about 3 to 5 weeks before he shows up at your door with flowers and an apology.
But don't go back into girlfriend mode until you have set some ground rules.
Good luck.
2006-06-20 05:42:48 · answer #1 · answered by Cain 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're doing more than playing a role...
you were playing house without a license and he...
well...he was playing a role.
So now what?
now it's time to let him know you don't wanna play house you want to get really crazy and step it up.
I wish you all the luck there is...
and next time...stay out of other people's email....
2006-06-20 10:27:47 · answer #2 · answered by Warrior 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope he runs from you like lightning. You are one scary chick. Accept the fact that you screwed this one up and next time be a little more trusting and a lot less nosy. And, based on your screen name, that is going to be tough for you to do.
2006-06-20 10:23:23 · answer #3 · answered by javelin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you got jealous... that's it! he is still a freelance. you don't have anything in you that would give you the right to check his emails.
ok, he has been receiving emails from girls from your dorm. he might even have emails from the celebrities, the president's daughter, or even from ET... YOU DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT TO CHECK HIS MAILS!!
try talking to him and accept that you were so stupid checking his emails. i know it's hard to do it, but you have to. that would be a great first step... if you want to win him back!
2006-06-20 10:31:43 · answer #4 · answered by Ross 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have no right to go through his private email. he is stupid for giving you his password in the first place. in saying that he obviously trusts you, when you dont trust him or you wouldnt be checking on how many females have emailed him. without trust you have nothing. you should move on and start minding your own business.
2006-06-20 10:28:17 · answer #5 · answered by vanessaoz 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I will only say, that you should call him, and say sorry to him .... for what u did, u shldn't have cursed him or screamed at him, without knowing the full details bout his relationship with those women ...... just say sorry .... and don't call him back ... I'm sure he will definitely goin to call you back and come back to you .... ive tried it ..... and it worked for me.
2006-06-20 14:44:44 · answer #6 · answered by blackroze101 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So...you're NOT MARRIED to this guy and he hasn't asked you to marry him, correct?? Who are you to nose into his business if you're not his wife?? He's a free agent. I'd dump you in a heartbeat.
2006-06-20 10:22:16 · answer #7 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you really f!@#ed up,begging is always an option,get on your knees , tell him how stupid you were and beg him to forgive you
2006-06-20 10:22:29 · answer #8 · answered by nate diggitty 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋