How come family bonds in america are so weak?

Question

I'm from Spain and I lived in america for a year. Honestly I feel sorry for americans. They're family bonds are so weak! Most kids only see their grandparents or uncles and aunts on holidays, maybe once every other year. If someone besides the nuclear family is living in the home the family counts down the days when they will move out rather than welcoming them and making them feel like a part of the family. Grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, don't have that constant involvement in their kids lives. Women always want their their husbands to make them #1 and are not willing to compromise for the good of the extended family.

I mean why? Why the hostility to your own family?


When you get married your spouses family is now a part YOUR family too you know just as your family is.

For those americans who say their family is close mind telling us where you live. I hear families in the South are closer than families in the North.

I lived in NYC.

Answer 1

Because americans realize the truth, which is that people suck and that it's best to have them far, far away from you.

I mean, it's bad enough that we have to see our grandparents and uncles and such on christmas and thanksgiving, now you want us to see them all year round? Please, for the love of god, no.

Answer 2

Here we go again with the generalizations. The main difference is alot of families don't live close together like European countries. America is alot larger than Europe. People go where their jobs take them and sometimes, unfortunately, it's away from their family. I talk to my mom and dad every other day. I talk to my mother-in-law every few days. We visit every week. I have a good relationship with my family and an awesome relationship with my husband's family. Stop with the stereotypes already.

As for New York, most New Yorkers are people who have moved there for jobs. So their families aren't nearby. If you go to a smaller town, you'll find families and extended families that have lived there for years and years.

Answer 3

Well I would love to see my family everyday, unfortunately I cannot. We moved to have a better job opportunity because the job base in the area we were living in was dwindling. So we moved. My kids see their grandparents at least 4 times a year and they talk on the phone with them. Please don't feel bad for us, it is not necessary. Good for you that you get to be with your family.

There is no hostility involved in my case. We are all truly happy to see one another when we visit "home". I disagree with your expert opinion, it doesn't always work that way with all families. We do involve our extended families as they were always a part of it.

Answer 4

I know what you are talking about as a child I grew up and was extremely close to my family. When my grandparents died all that was gone I haven't seen a lot of my aunts & uncles in 8 years. I have grown and had my own children and I try very hard to eat with my children every night and and do everything I did with my family when I was a child. I don't believe the divorce rate helps the family situation so many families are broken. so many children grow up without a mom and dad. Society has made it this way They have made it so easy to divorce so easy to not let us disapline our children and have the control of our families that our parents had with us as children. The theory of children need to be in this and that I spend my evenings after work running to dance or to ty-kwon-do. I'm divorced with two children. they go to their dad's they go to all the extra activities I work full time where is the family time, I'm sure i'm not the only one to feel this way. It's important for me to let my children know where they came from

Answer 5

Well, in America we have the right to dislike our inlaws just like they dislike us. On the other points, you make a good one. I visited my grandparents as often as i could right up until they died. I have a very close family even tho my parents split when I was in middle school. That does not stop us from being a family and being together whenever we can.

Answer 6

Law makers of this country have destroyed the family values of America by giving children more rights than teachers or parents . Banning prayer from schools and public buildings . Forcing Mothers to go to work to make ends meet because of rising cost and TAXES . With the demands placed on parents , they don't have the time needed to spend with their children . And the laws tell the children that they don't have to do what their parents or teachers tell them if they don't want to .

Answer 7

Well, unfortunately in America (USA), most people went to public school. Our public schools started leaning towards Communism in 1959. They have gotten progressively worse. Today they are almost worthless. That's the number one reason. Communism seeks to destroy the family unit-eventually the people will look to the government for everything. Just look at us today. A dysfunctional family is considered normal. Your observations are correct.

Answer 8

I think, and this is only my opinion, is that since America is so much the land of the "pioneer" that we are all trying to find out own little world outside of the family we have. Europe is much more family centered, and since America was formed by people trying to escape the ways of Europe, whether it is religious persecution, criminal past, etc, that we try to do things differently from the ways they are done in Europe.

Answer 9

thats not the way it is in my family. we are all very much involved in eachothers lives. but yes i see what you mean, you are right. when one of my daughters friends was over here, she was telling me about her mom and she started to cry cause she said her mom doesnt spend time with her. she is 13 years old, she really needs her mom. as far as my daughter and i we have been very close ever since she was born, she talks to me about things that 99.9% of kids would never bring up to their parents. she is always my #1 priority. we do have a very close family, all my grandma's and grandpa's and everyone. i agree family is the most important thing.

Answer 10

I think the american household is brought up in an environment in which both parents work and is very fast paced so it's hard to keep a family close.