How come family bonds in america are so weak?

Question

I'm from Spain and I lived in america for a year. Honestly I feel sorry for americans. They're family bonds are so weak! Most kids only see their grandparents or uncles and aunts on holidays, maybe once every other year. If someone besides the nuclear family is living in the home the family counts down the days when they will move out rather than welcoming them and making them feel like a part of the family. Grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, don't have that constant involvement in their kids lives. Women always want their their husbands to make them #1 and are not willing to compromise for the good of the extended family.

I mean why? Why the hostility to your own family?

When you get married your spouses family is now a part YOUR family too you know just as your family is.

For those americans who say their family is close mind telling us where you live. I hear families in the South are closer than families in the North.

I lived in NYC.

Answer 1

American society is simply more evolved than in countries still mired in tradition and the past.

We have greater mobility both physical and social, more space, and the wealth that permits us to live where and how we want.

The extended family is the hallmark of rural and/or poor societies. America is neither.

Answer 2

I live in Louisiana and my kids see their grandmother on my side everyday. As a matter of fact my 2 girls r spending the week with her. My girls grandmother on their father's side is dieing and none of the grand kids can see her at this time. Though I am no longer with my girls father, he lives in Michigan and comes to see them every chance he gets. My son See's his adopted grandparents everyday. My mother lived with us at one point and she was always made to feel welcome.

And yes I am from the SOUTH! If anyone in my family or my husbands family needed a place to stay the would be welcomed here always. So don't feel sorry for me as we are a close family that gets together ever chance we get even if its not a holiday.

By the way, I am a stay at home mom that enjoys being there for my kids, my husband and our families.

Answer 3

Okay I had to think about this one and all I can give you is my personal experiences. I grew up in a two income household. Both my parents had to work, they had no choice. When my sister or I got sick my mother squeezed doctor's visits in at her convenience because she did not want to use up sick days in case she needed them for herself. My maternal grandparents were not interested in their grandchildren and moved to FL when I was 10. When My grandfather died my grandmother moved back and we were never able to establish a bond. She is in her mid-eighties and chooses to live alone even though two of her sons are willing and able to have her live with them. My patenal grandmother took care of us when we were young but she passed on when I was 15 and too young to appreciate her. My paternal grandfather took off on his wife and 4 kids when my father was just 4.
Now back to my relationship with my parents. My father passed on four years ago and I would have taken care of him in a heartbeat. My mother is now living alone but she likes it. There is no way I could live with her and survive emotionally. She is very self-centered and distracting. Had she been there for me more when i was younger maybe I would have learned more tolerance of her but that is just not the case.This country puts so much importance on wealth and hard work. Many companies reward those who put in the extra time while ignoring those who make better use of the standard 40 hours a week. It takes away from families and the children suffer for it. In turn, as we get older, we reap what we sow. If we do not make our kids feel important to us when they are young why would they feel the same for us when they are older?
There are many successful extended families in the US (but you will notice that they originate from elsewhere). These are the families that make sure the children are close to them emotionally early in life so they will stay that way later.

Answer 4

I am from NYC and from a very close family... although we have all moved across the United States to persure our own personal dreams, we still maintain our strong bonds through calls and letters and emails and holidays. The more "ethnic" families from my old neighborhood frown on me and many members of our family because we "left the neighborhood and our mother." But the best thing to make a mother happy is to fulfill your dreams and ambitions... and if staying where you grew up prohibits you from fulfilling those dreams then no one is truly happy, even if you are living under the same roof.

Answer 5

Money changes everyone....They have enough money to forget everything even their own family and blood....People tend to think only about themselves and no one else....They hav not had to bear the pains which one suffers when poor and deprived.... That brings people together and makes one realise about the hardships in life and how a strong family bond can help to overcome that...
Here in India people just love each other and appreciate it if our neighbours attend any of our functions....In America kids would call their parent's collegues by their names while here v call them "uncle" or "Aunty" and just relate them to ourselves....

Answer 6

This is the tax of the recent life, you have no time allowed for even take a rest, you have to work full time to be able to live, besides Mediterraneans have more tights than Americans

Answer 7

Im from somalia and you are right! In somalia is like we see ever body everday. maybe america is lazy and rather spent time with friends then famliy.

Answer 8

americans are jerks who are unwilling to share anything