why do men like to abuse there wife?

Question

there are a lot of question in here about women husband abuseing them and they dont know what to do?suggest?go to emergency shelter especially if you have kids they well surport you and get the help you need i feel so sorry for the women that get abuse bye there *** hole husband they think they are so macho because they can beat up on there wife this make me real sick

Answer 1

have watched so many friends make so many bad choices about the men in their lives.

But that's not really my business. Except for in cases of abuse, I've known to keep my mouth shut. Physical abuse is obvious, and demands to be addressed. I don't think anyone can claim to love a person, and then politely pretend to not notice black eyes.

But the topic is never as easy to raise at it ought to be. To watch her in physical pain hurt me deeply, but for her to respond to my concern with anger nearly killed me. My heart broke when this rational, intelligent woman looked me in the eye and actually uttered that sick joke of a cliché -- "But I love him."

There are a hundred ways to argue with that statement. None of them will work. For all of the women determined to stay in violent relationships, there is at least one person who has tried everything to get her out.

I think why they stay is apparent. The abuse never starts out as physical. He doesn't break her jaw on the first date. If he did, he'd be a straight out psychopath, and not your everyday neighbor/wife-beater.

Men, I understand and appreciate that the vast majority of you do not beat up women. But, the bottom-line is there are far too many of you ******* who do. Perhaps it is unfair, but I am also left to wonder how many potential wife-beaters are out there, just waiting for a woman to stick around long enough.

By the time a man full-on hits a woman, he is comfortable that she's not going anywhere. He's confident because he has already put her through a courtship full of gradually increasing psychological torture. As any good misogynist knows, a broken woman is not born, she is cultivated.

Careful observation can often identify an abusive man within 10 minutes of talking to him. Sometimes, it takes longer. But, by Date #3, I guarantee he has thrown out at least one neon-sign of a clue that he will someday drag her by her hair.

Some women will dismiss the warning signs as being insignificant. Or, worse, an infatuated women could see the character defects as endearing. She may find his jealousy to be charming, or determine that his rudeness to the waiter is manly, in a take-no-**** kind of way.

The goal of a batterer is to convince this woman that she cannot live without him. He accomplishes this by stifling anything about her that is her own. With an abusive man, what begins as a jealousy will inevitably turn into raging paranoia. At first, she may find it sweet that he really wants her to be with him, and not join her friends after work. Soon, her friends will stop asking, knowing she "can't" go. She'll be grateful, because the lack of an invitation is easier than making up excuses. Eventually he will cut her off completely from her friends and family, leaving her with no support outside of him. She will be utterly dependent on him, which, of course, was his entire plan.

She will love him, and she will need him, because he will be all that she has.

By the time the actual physical abuse occurs, it's too late. The physical violence is simply the culmination of a long and carefully planned ego-trip. Proof, in a maniacal frenzy, that he can do whatever the hell he wants.

It is far too late for her friends and family to help her. Where were they when she said (again) that she couldn't attend the [fill-in-the-blank]? Why didn't they speak up when he openly insulted her at the last function they did make it to?

They were where I have been: biting their tongues, knowing it's not their business, and waiting for something bad enough to happen that could justify butting in.

They will wait for a bruise, and she will say "but I love him." Their hands will be tied, and their hearts will break.

Answer 2

Well, there are a lot of reasons. Mostly it seems to be about ego. LIttle short men can't fight other men and they are teased much of their life for being short. So, when they date or get married, they take it out on their wives. Others see their fathers do it and think it's normal. Others are just wacked in the head. Me? I have never and will never hit a woman. If I see a man hit a woman, mind you I am a pretty big guy, I will do some pretty serious damage to him. Hope this answers your question.

Answer 3

In abusive relationships, it's not always the man that's the abuser. There are a very large amount of women who are very abusive also. The thing is, in this society, it's acceptable for a woman to haul off and hit a man, but he swings back (which in my opinion, if someone hits you male or female, you have the RIGHT to hit back!) and she calls the cops and BOO HOO he hits me! It's all BS. If people in this world started treating other people the way THEY themselves wated to be treated, no one would know what to do. Men should not be EVER hitting their wives or girlfriends, but ladies, you need to keep your darn hands to yourself too. If you can't get mad without hitting something or someone, go get counseling.

Answer 4

Because they want to be in control. I think that women who actually put up with it, and keep letting them come back, are just as at fault as the men though. My sister keeps taking her druggie husband back, even though he has broken her arm, and gone after her kids!! Yes she should get out, but, if she chooses to keep letting him back into their lives, I don't feel sorry for her! Maybe it's not right for me to feel that way, but that is how I feel!
I think a lot of women are afraid to go to shelters, A) because they don't now what to expect, and B) they are too scared to leave beacause they are afraid he will find them, and of what he will do when he does.

Answer 5

I agree with you. But then you have got to feel sorry for the man that are being abused by their wifes. We women also abuse you guys, but not by blows and slaps. We abuse you men with teasing yelling and threats. All in all we're all the same.

Answer 6

It is hard to just leave like everyone says...My husband and i have the abuse problem, but we are working through it...counseling, talking, changing our ways...From what i have learned it is a way they are brought up...If a woman figure in their life such as my husbands Big MaMa , she abused him his whole life, so he has held a resentment towards woman in general. Once he faces the truth it can be changed.

Answer 7

Because they are sick, mentally. Does it make that accepable? No! I'd bet money that many of the men that are abusive don't like it themselves loathe it, and take it out on someone else... it's a cycle of violence many grew up in and continue

Answer 8

Having carried my share of black eyes, from EX-husband #1 ... I bet if HE had picked on someone his own size... he'd have carried his OWN share of black eyes!!! As for the abuse from EX-husband #2 THAT was the mind-screwin' from hell...(was) being the operative word...this will sound a bit off..
...I think I would rather have had a black eye...
MUCH easier to get over....

Answer 9

They have control issues and they abuse when they feel they are loosing control or They can express their anger on that person or they feel women are subsentient beings and therefore animals and they can treat them as such.

Answer 10

B/c they are too pansy to pick on other Men so they like to pick on small defenseless women.
I hate men who hit women >:(

I think it's b/c they have control/anger issues. I say we load them all up and dump them on Alcatraz.